I just bucked up $31 for a fishing license. I'll be totally thrilled on Saturday morning when I'm at Laurel Hill, elbow-to-butthole with no less than 7 zillion other guys, fighting over a 2-foot-deep hole full of 7" trout that I just throw back anyway. If I'm lucky, I'll get snagged or birds-nested on the first cast.

I'd have probably been better off to go out and spend $31 on Gordon's Breaded Fish Sticks and go scout for turkeys on Saturday,maybe shoot some groundhogs and work on my suntan.