ORIGINAL: MOTOWNHONKEY

I'm hunting some public land in the early 90's. I get to a spot where I want to try and see a Johnny on the spot across the street by these guys doing some construction. I figured I better take care of a little business before my trek out and make use of their facilities.I get back to my truck and realize that my wallet is missing with about $400 in it with all my liscence cards and stuff. I'm dead sick over this and after looking all over the place I figure it must have droped in that Johnny. Well I have some trash bags in my truck so I stick my hand in one and head for the Johnny. I got this bag up to my armpit and just getting down there close to the blue water I start gagging and dry heaving. I say screw it and in goes the hand, is that it? I slightly squeeze. Nope How about that? nope. Well you can imagine my pain. After a minute or so I give up in complete disgust and lack of self esteem. well the bag leaked and my arm was blue and stunk like well you guessed it crap. So I make the hour trip back home and run into the shower like one of those T.V rape victums. In the shower I swear myself to secrecy. I get out to get some fresh boxers and there is my bill fold on the dresser. I didn't know weather to laugh or cry but now my brothers call me the Turd Man Of Alcatraz.