RE: Handgun stopping power
Personally I carry Federal 180 grain hydra shocks in my 40. I recently fired one into some wet shreaded newspaper from 10 feet to see how they expanded and penetrated.
The recovered bullet was nearly a picture perfect mushroom. It was a little more expanded on one side than the other but I atribute this to firing at a bit of an angle into the paper. Penetration was about 20 inches.
I also tested the 155 grain hydra shock and 135 grain power balls. While they both had excelent expansion both shed their jackets.
I have not tested the Remington Golden sabers yet but they are suppose to be one of the best defensive bullets as well.
BTW recoil is very manageable. My 11 year old daughter has no problem controling my XD compact. While she can't put 13 down range in rapid succession she loves to shoot it.