RE: 40lb recurve for wife?
If at all possible, get a few bows in her hands and see what she's comfortable with. Some ladies can handle heavier weights, some can't (same as men). If she's not comfortable with the draw weight, then she won't enjoy it as much, she won't shoot it as much, she won't progress as fast as she could, and she is more likely to give it up all-together.
Chad