People who have farmed all their life know what a good day's work is and in-laws who ride their coattails are not held in high esteem. You have done chores for him and the son-in-law has not. Approaching in the right way can ally the farmer on your side. For instance "Jeez John, the other day when I was moving hay bales for you, heard your son-in-law shot a doe from my tree stand where I planned to hunt bucks. I think I may not be filling my tag this year." Around here, the farmer would straighten the son-in-law out.

Myfriend is a World War II veteran who spent 3 1/2 years in a Japanese Prisoner of War camp. When he told me he and his wife were moving to a retirement apartment, I asked him what day and what time he wanted me there to help. Moving day came round and his eldest daughter and son-in-law lazed around "supervising" while everyone else worked. Myfriend found an old Japanese sabor, he picked up during the war crimes trials, in a trunk in the garage. He asked me if I would like to have it. His son-in-law piped up that he had always thought he would get that. Myfriend looked at him and told him "Coop has done more for Betty and I in the last three years than you have ever done for us." He then proceeded to give me the sabor. I thanked him and then donated it to a local military museum in his name.