I feel your pain and know how you feel. I imagine pop is sick also, but it happens to the best of us. thats a part of bowhunting! Ive lost one since ive been bowhunting and I was sick for days, but She might have lived and if she died other wildlife benefited from it, thats how I look at it. Dont beat yourself up over it, You need to get pop back out there and try again. Wish ya luck