This may be just me, but I find shotgun recoil and rifle recoil to be two completely different animals regardless of the numbers. I can fire a 12 ga loaded with fairly heavy game loads all day and only feel the slightest bit of tenderness in the shoulder. 20 rounds from a 30-06 class rifle(especially one with a hard metal or wood buttplate) will leave my shoulder purple. I've never been able to figure out why this is, but I speculate that it's recoil velocity and not energy that causes pain. As far as selecting a first deer rifle for an 11 year old, that depends largely on the build and recoil sensitivity of the individual. Personally, I hate rifle recoil, so I'm a fan of the Swedish Mauser (6.5x55mm). The .260 Rem, 7mm-08, are in the same class both recoil and performance wise. Anyone who can handle sustained fire with a 20 ga will likely be comfortable with the above rounds.