OK, "Kick your butt" is out, how bout "Put a whippin on ya", or "stomp a mud hole in ya", maybe "beat 'em like a dog"...........
Dude, I was just funnin, I don't think lady forge is gonna show up at your house! You can stop sweatin it! Like I said earlier, you all will be cryin on each others shoulders soon enough! Now, stop frowning and SMILE!