RE: 9mm or 40sw for daughter
I highly recomend the Springfield XD in 9mm, the 4 inch model. I have one, it's not a heavy clunker, easy recoil, the ergonomics naturally point the gun at the right spot. Please, please look into the gun. Shooting a .36special right out of the gate got my skiddish of the centerfire pistols. But shooting 9mm was fine.
So yes, look into them.