Old fuddy duddy here with a vote for the .45 auto 1911. If you are brand new to the pistolero stuff, she can take a little warming up to; depends on the shooter. Mrs Biscuit did well with it.... when she kept here eyes open shooting.

If the rock & roll of the heavier calibers is a permanent problem for anyone, then even the older mid bore rounds are better than throwing rocks and in good pistols they can be very accurate. One of my early career lessons learned was when a peer dropped a perp with the much aligned 38 spec 158 plane jane lead round nose. It even over penetrated. Marksmanhip, marksmanhip, marksmanship