i won't be posting on the board anymore!!!
 

Just wanted everyone out there to know that i won't be posting on the board for a while due to the fact that a divorce is stirring so i will be leaving my home. with it my wife and kid, a 3-year old baby boy, that i love more than anything in this world. the 12-year old is my step son who has always hated me so that part i won't miss. i will also leave her the house and it's contents, inlcuding my beloved big screen tv, my computer, my dog, and that's not all folks, a brand new pool that i just bought her and the kids this past summer. what hurts the most is the fact that i (not her and i) just remodeled the whole house and put a new roof on the place. also dug 119 post holes (by hand) for the brand new privacy fence that i installed just this past summer. it's a good thing i have a cabin close by because if not, i would be living in my truck. i mean we've had problems in the past but this comes as a complete shock to me. i know she doesn't have a boyfriend or anything, she thinks i drink too much. well maybe so but i'm not violent, verbally abusive, nothing. very mellow. i don't get drunk everyday don't get me wrong, but i do stop at the vets club after a hard days work for a few with the "boys"..............get off at five home by six. the sad part is the only thing i'll miss is seeing my son everyday when he wakes up and every night when he goes to sleep. that's gonna hurt!!!

RE: i won't be posting on the board anymore!!!
 

Good luck! Hope to hear from you soon! I hope things work out for you....Jim

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the contractor,

I am sorry about your situation. Maybe in time it will work out.

Best of luck.

Natural

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Man that sucks and I know where your at been through it three times but not cause of drinking but because of my wife cheating. I really hope you can get this worked out, living with out my kids was horrendous all I could do was cry and reach for the bottle. If all it would take was to give up the drinking Id do it in a heart beat for my kids. I am sorry and I know that I dont know the whole story but living with out my kids was the hardest thing I had to do in my life cause at that time my kids were my life. I am now 54 years old and my kids all have familys of there own and Im the #1 grandpa now. If there anything I can do to help man just email me I will do all that I can possibly do. Good luck man!

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SORRY TO HERE THAT IBEEN THREW THAT NOTHING MORE THEN NOT BEING ABLE TO SEE YOUR KID FOR ALL ITS WORTH MYBE SHE JUST NEEDS A BREAK,, SOMTIMES YOU NEVER KNOW WHATS GOINING ON IN THEIR MIND, ME AND MY WIFE GOT BACK TOGETHER AFTER ALMOST A7 MONTHS AND BEEN FINE FOR OVER 1/12 YEARS AND ARE GOING TO HAVE BABY IN JUNE.. SO KEEP YOUR HEAD UP ,, MYBE THINGS WILL FALL BACK IN PLACE

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Sad situation, but it sounds like you need to quit drinking.

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Well, not trying to come down on ya and I'm no pro but I have been around the block and tipped a few bottles back. To start off with, two things in your post jumped out at me to lead to one conclusion.

"My bloved big screen TV"
"She thinks I drink too much"

You need to reorginize your priorities. If you wanna save your marriage which you should for your little boy, tell her you'll quit drinking and sideline that TV and go to some marriage counceling. Even if you don't think you need it the mere effort will mean something to her. Let me guess have you heard something like "I'm tired of not feeling special"?

Think of what you would feel like if she and your boy were suddenly gone and I'm not talking about her booting you and how your feeling right now, I mean the sheriff knocking at your door late one night and coming in and asking you to sit down. Think about that then think about how you feel about her. If that brings tears to your eyes and makes you shudder, you still have some power right now, quit drinking, clear your head, write to yourself it'll help you sort things out, and go to her and tell her how you feel and that it aint over if you have anything to say and do about it.

Metro

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I've been there recently. The only thing I can tell you is that do whatever it takes to keep your family intact. For me it took a lot of effort to remove my pride etc. and go to counseling at our church. Talk things out (not argue) and listen to what she is saying. Life is not perfect, but its pretty darn good and getting better every day. Email me if you need someone to talk to. I'll pray for you too!

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best of luck brother, and if either one of you (husband or wife) thinks anything is a problem in a relationship, guess what it is, my hopes and prayers are with you....

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I wont comment ,just pray for you and your family,cant hurt

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Hope everything works out well for you.

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Being a young lad of 26 most of you guys have a lot more experiece at the marrage thing than I have. I have been married for 5 years and early in my marrage my wife and I split up, she left a week before archery season and took my new bow with with her.......think she was trying to tell me something? We were able to patch things up and we both had to make some compromises but in the end I think the whole experience made us stronger. I think we got some issues out of the way early that could have lingered and caused some trouble down the road. My point is, you may have to re-evaluate some of the things you do and makes some changes in order to patch things up with your wife, but in the end you will be happier for doing it.

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My thoughts and prayers go out to you. My only advice is to do anything and everything to keep that boy in your life. If the marriage can't be saved, do everything you can to see the boy as much as possible.

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Sorry to hear about your problems. It sounds like you need to check out your priorities. All the pools and tv's and drinking in the world would not replace my time with my son. Get some help. My wife and I recently went to a Marriage Encounter weekend through our church. I feel we have a strong marriage, but this weekend really helped. I also had to quit " having one with the boys" when I got married. Every now and then is fine, any more than that is not fair to your family. Good luck and I'll be praying for you.

Mike

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I understand what you going through is tuff. But with all due respect it does sound like a prioritie problem? I also have two kids. My son which is nine and a step daughter that is 14 I can tell you there is no way in hell i would let something that i can control split my family up! Advice -Stop drinking long enuff to figure things out. Drinking just magnify the problems.

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She didnt get your bow or hunting equipment did she? Wish ya the best of luck. And im sure youll see your son again, but im not sure youll see this post....

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You and your family are in my prayers. Hope all works out for the best.

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Sorry to hear of your heartaches. Take care of yourself & get as much time in with your son as you can. That will be healing for both of you.

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Sorry to hear that man good luck an just rember when you aint go no one else you got the woods good luck

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Contractor, I feel your pain. When my kids were 7 and 10 I went through a divorce for reasons still foreign to me this day over 10 years later. No cheating, no abuse no substances. In the beginning on the way to return the kids to their mothers house( my old one) I would have a knot in my throat all the way there with welled up eyes. Once I dropped them off I would cry from the moment I heard the door shut until I arrived at my place. However, in the long run my relationship with the kids got better because when I had them on weekends and a night or two every other week it was strictly their time with Dad with no interference from anything. After I realized this at about the 6 month mark it got easier. Eventually both kids moved in with me. One of them during his senior year which is unusual. Communication I believe was and always is an issue when no other obvious signs are present. I agree with other posts if you want the marriage for reasons other than hanging in there for the 3yo offer to go to counselling with her. If it is only for your young child get counseling for yourself and dedicate time to your 3yo. My prayers are with you.

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Man i really feel your pain. I am not married, but i have been with my son's mother for 7yrs and she just moved out on the 15 of october!! She took my two year old Logan, and i think that hurt the most. The house is just so empty without them, i go hunting and all i can think about is her and my boy. I have never been this hurt in my entire life, but ya know what.........i am only 25 she is 22...........we are still so young! Maybe one day we can work things out and be happy again. I think she just needs to live her life and not be so adult like with bills, mortgage, and all that. I just hope she dont do anything stupid to where i wont ever take her back. But good luck and keep us posted, it helps to talk about it. god bless.
Mike

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I'm another one who can feel your pain. Thankfully there were no children involved.When I was going through my divorce I thought it was the end of the world.I lost 45 pounds worrying. I talked to all my friends and got encouragement. One friend made a comment that really sunk in" If you Love something set it free,if it comes back it was meant to be." Believe me I wouldn't want to go through that again for anything. Spend as much time with your son. Lay off the booze.Talk it over with the wife,seek help.If it works out or not at least you'll know you did what you could trying to save your marriage.Time heals all.It's been going on 12 years since I was divorced.I realize now that was probably the best for both of us.I don't wish her any bad luck but I don't want anything to do with her. She's been remarried a couple times.I haven't gone back for seconds and doubt I ever will. Hang in there my friend things will work one way or another.

Ruger Redhawk

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i just wanted to let you guys/gals know that i appreciate all of your insight, thoughts, prayers, and last but not least..............your advice. i am back in the house and things seem to be going smooth. i told her that if it came down to a damn beverage or her and the kids, the beverage won't win!!! i told her that if she wanted me to, i would never touch another beer in my life. my inlaws aren't too happy that she took me back but they never liked me much to begin with, so i could care less what they think. anyways, i'm back on the board and thanks again!!!!

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hey buddy if you need some help just holler, like i said before if either partner thinks something is a problem, it is, you've got to keep everything in check, hope things work out for you and your misses, you would be well advised to seek some counsling from what you posted about you and your step-son, btw i have a few and they can be trying..

best of luck brother, your in my prayers

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Hey contractor, that is some of the best news I've heard lately. I will guarantee in the long run your family will be a lot more important to you than having one with the boys after work. Stick around, most of the people on here will be more than happy to try and help than you would have thought, besides we are going to need some pictures of those bucks those boys get over the next few years.

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Way to go Contractor. You did what every woman wants, you told her that she and the family are the most important. You being back in the house is great news. Just thing of the upside to the no drinking thing. In a couple of months you can probably buy a new hunting rifle with the $ your saving. LOL. I will keep you and your family in prayer and check out Marriage Encounter Weekends. That really helped us.

Mike

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Glad to hear things are better. Sometimes we just need a little wake-up call and have to be smart enough to put our pride aside and do the right thing. You sure got a lot of good advice here. Good luck.