What’s the proper balance of family (or significant other), chores and hunting?
11-22-2010, 05:03 AM
#1
Nontypical Buck
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Virginia
Posts: 1,473
What’s the proper balance of family (or significant other), chores and hunting?
My impractical (and probably selfish) view is:
Hunting season is only two months long, we can’t hunt on Sundays in VA, I’m only able to take a few days off from work to hunt, so on Saturdays, I’M GOING HUNTING. ALL DAY!!
Now, in reality, that doesn’t fly (and I would never actually say that to my wife). We have two kids (4 & 1), and they can be a handful. I appreciate that my wife looks after them by herself (I know it can be a little stressful) when I do go hunting all day, but I almost kind-of expect it. Like, I would do the same for her if there was something seasonal that she was as passionate about (she obviously knows how passionate I am about it, but I truly don’t think she understands. Sunday is a good day to spend with the family, and it’s not like I don’t spend time with them EVERY night after work. The outside chores get neglected a bit (can’t really spend time with the fam on Sunday if I’m outside working), so it’s either one or the other. IMO, the leaves can wait until January! They’ll still be there.
Anyway, I am just feeling a little frustrated because yes, I am OBSESSED with hunting, but I feel like my wife is just doing what she can to deal with it, and I can tell. Like, although she isn’t saying it, I get the feeling she thinks I’m neglecting my family and responsibilities by going all day.
What’s your situation with your family/significant other?
Hunting season is only two months long, we can’t hunt on Sundays in VA, I’m only able to take a few days off from work to hunt, so on Saturdays, I’M GOING HUNTING. ALL DAY!!
Now, in reality, that doesn’t fly (and I would never actually say that to my wife). We have two kids (4 & 1), and they can be a handful. I appreciate that my wife looks after them by herself (I know it can be a little stressful) when I do go hunting all day, but I almost kind-of expect it. Like, I would do the same for her if there was something seasonal that she was as passionate about (she obviously knows how passionate I am about it, but I truly don’t think she understands. Sunday is a good day to spend with the family, and it’s not like I don’t spend time with them EVERY night after work. The outside chores get neglected a bit (can’t really spend time with the fam on Sunday if I’m outside working), so it’s either one or the other. IMO, the leaves can wait until January! They’ll still be there.
Anyway, I am just feeling a little frustrated because yes, I am OBSESSED with hunting, but I feel like my wife is just doing what she can to deal with it, and I can tell. Like, although she isn’t saying it, I get the feeling she thinks I’m neglecting my family and responsibilities by going all day.
What’s your situation with your family/significant other?
11-22-2010, 05:17 AM
#2
Typical Buck
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: NY: NYC to Watertown
Posts: 897
Family first!!
Don't need to go out every saturday regardless of what's going on at home.
Would take the wife and kids into consideration.
Myself, all of october is shot,
Anniversary, my bday, wifes bday, and our lil ones bday all in oct.
Giving up hunting in october is a small price for guilt free hunting rest of season.
I rather go hunting with the wifes blessings, then go and return to an attitude of some sort.
Don't need to go out every saturday regardless of what's going on at home.
Would take the wife and kids into consideration.
Myself, all of october is shot,
Anniversary, my bday, wifes bday, and our lil ones bday all in oct.
Giving up hunting in october is a small price for guilt free hunting rest of season.
I rather go hunting with the wifes blessings, then go and return to an attitude of some sort.
11-22-2010, 05:19 AM
#3
Spike
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 70
I hear ya, and I think we all have this problem.
Me Im lucky, I'm oil field trash now, so I work two weeks on, two weeks off. So I get plenty of days to hunt. However, by the time I go on days off my wife and kids want time. The boys do sometimes go out with me. But on days when I take em out they are our days, it cant really be called hunting. They are too young to sit in a stand for more than 30 minutes without talking and wanting to get down and walk around. When we "stalk" we still arent productive, they ohh and ahh at every track scrape or dropping. So, I take em out on Sundays cause we cant hunt.
The wife is pretty understanding, but I could tell she was wanting more time with me, so I opted to stay home this morning, put the kids on the bus and let her sleep in a little bit, with the intent of her getting up after the kids went to school and spending some time.
She is still sleeping, so it won't happen again. I only have two days of hunting left (next days off we have to go visit family in Iowa, and I wont have another days off till after season closes.
Me Im lucky, I'm oil field trash now, so I work two weeks on, two weeks off. So I get plenty of days to hunt. However, by the time I go on days off my wife and kids want time. The boys do sometimes go out with me. But on days when I take em out they are our days, it cant really be called hunting. They are too young to sit in a stand for more than 30 minutes without talking and wanting to get down and walk around. When we "stalk" we still arent productive, they ohh and ahh at every track scrape or dropping. So, I take em out on Sundays cause we cant hunt.
The wife is pretty understanding, but I could tell she was wanting more time with me, so I opted to stay home this morning, put the kids on the bus and let her sleep in a little bit, with the intent of her getting up after the kids went to school and spending some time.
She is still sleeping, so it won't happen again. I only have two days of hunting left (next days off we have to go visit family in Iowa, and I wont have another days off till after season closes.
11-22-2010, 07:15 AM
#4
Spike
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 78
My impractical (and probably selfish) view is:
Hunting season is only two months long, we can’t hunt on Sundays in VA, I’m only able to take a few days off from work to hunt, so on Saturdays, I’M GOING HUNTING. ALL DAY!!
Now, in reality, that doesn’t fly (and I would never actually say that to my wife). We have two kids (4 & 1), and they can be a handful. I appreciate that my wife looks after them by herself (I know it can be a little stressful) when I do go hunting all day, but I almost kind-of expect it. Like, I would do the same for her if there was something seasonal that she was as passionate about (she obviously knows how passionate I am about it, but I truly don’t think she understands. Sunday is a good day to spend with the family, and it’s not like I don’t spend time with them EVERY night after work. The outside chores get neglected a bit (can’t really spend time with the fam on Sunday if I’m outside working), so it’s either one or the other. IMO, the leaves can wait until January! They’ll still be there.
Anyway, I am just feeling a little frustrated because yes, I am OBSESSED with hunting, but I feel like my wife is just doing what she can to deal with it, and I can tell. Like, although she isn’t saying it, I get the feeling she thinks I’m neglecting my family and responsibilities by going all day.
What’s your situation with your family/significant other?
Hunting season is only two months long, we can’t hunt on Sundays in VA, I’m only able to take a few days off from work to hunt, so on Saturdays, I’M GOING HUNTING. ALL DAY!!
Now, in reality, that doesn’t fly (and I would never actually say that to my wife). We have two kids (4 & 1), and they can be a handful. I appreciate that my wife looks after them by herself (I know it can be a little stressful) when I do go hunting all day, but I almost kind-of expect it. Like, I would do the same for her if there was something seasonal that she was as passionate about (she obviously knows how passionate I am about it, but I truly don’t think she understands. Sunday is a good day to spend with the family, and it’s not like I don’t spend time with them EVERY night after work. The outside chores get neglected a bit (can’t really spend time with the fam on Sunday if I’m outside working), so it’s either one or the other. IMO, the leaves can wait until January! They’ll still be there.
Anyway, I am just feeling a little frustrated because yes, I am OBSESSED with hunting, but I feel like my wife is just doing what she can to deal with it, and I can tell. Like, although she isn’t saying it, I get the feeling she thinks I’m neglecting my family and responsibilities by going all day.
What’s your situation with your family/significant other?
11-22-2010, 07:45 AM
#5
Spike
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 70
Back when I was younger I dated a woman for a long time, during off season she didn't want to spend all waking hours with me. We were just together a fair amount of time, like you would expect from a couple that had been together for a year or more. But come hunting season if I wasn't with her every second of my off time from work I was the badguy.
Yeah she was an extreme example. But I find a lot of relationships are like that to one degree or another. Its almost like they want to see how much they can keep you away from it without you complaining, and if you do complain then you are the bad guy. If they have to complain you are the bad guy.
11-22-2010, 08:21 AM
#6
Typical Buck
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Orange County, Virginia....
Posts: 556
That's how a lot of women are. They are jealous of the fact that their man would want to spend more time doing something other than being with them. It doesnt matter if its hunting or watching a particular football game or whatever. They will find a reason to interfere and try to make you feel guilty for doing what you want rather than what they want you to do. Its a freaken conspiracy I say! Not saying that is everyone's particular situation, just what I have noticed.
11-22-2010, 08:26 AM
#7
Nontypical Buck
Join Date: Feb 2003
Posts: 2,358
Two kids, aged 4 & 1 are a HUGE HANDFUL!
You helped make them, you have to help raise them, and that's a 7 day/week, 24 hour a day job. As they get older, it gets easier, well timewise, the problems just change :-)
Take the time from hunting now, in a fair way, to balance, you can't realistically expect family patterns to suddenly change come hunting season. Talk to your wife, not us! Work out something where you can hunt AND help her with the kids AND get her some "alone time" that she wants.
Hunting is here for the rest of your life. Put something before your family, and they might not be.
You helped make them, you have to help raise them, and that's a 7 day/week, 24 hour a day job. As they get older, it gets easier, well timewise, the problems just change :-)
Take the time from hunting now, in a fair way, to balance, you can't realistically expect family patterns to suddenly change come hunting season. Talk to your wife, not us! Work out something where you can hunt AND help her with the kids AND get her some "alone time" that she wants.
Hunting is here for the rest of your life. Put something before your family, and they might not be.
11-22-2010, 08:52 AM
#9
Nontypical Buck
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Virginia
Posts: 1,473
Two kids, aged 4 & 1 are a HUGE HANDFUL!
You helped make them, you have to help raise them, and that's a 7 day/week, 24 hour a day job. As they get older, it gets easier, well timewise, the problems just change :-)
Take the time from hunting now, in a fair way, to balance, you can't realistically expect family patterns to suddenly change come hunting season. Talk to your wife, not us! Work out something where you can hunt AND help her with the kids AND get her some "alone time" that she wants.
Hunting is here for the rest of your life. Put something before your family, and they might not be.
You helped make them, you have to help raise them, and that's a 7 day/week, 24 hour a day job. As they get older, it gets easier, well timewise, the problems just change :-)
Take the time from hunting now, in a fair way, to balance, you can't realistically expect family patterns to suddenly change come hunting season. Talk to your wife, not us! Work out something where you can hunt AND help her with the kids AND get her some "alone time" that she wants.
Hunting is here for the rest of your life. Put something before your family, and they might not be.
There's nothing wrong with me bouncing this off the hunting community to see what they have experienced. Also, I know all about what it is to raise these kids. I was without a job for almost two years and stayed home with them (additional context for ya).
I'm trying to determine what exactly is putting something before my family, and what is a reasonable expectation. I mean, if I wanna go out one night and play poker, is that putting poker before my family? I don't think so. You might!
11-22-2010, 09:37 AM
#10
Spike
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 70
That is an extreme example yes. But it happens.
Then you have the normal hunter like myself. I get back home on days off and I spend the first two days back doing nothing but family stuff. I fly in late Friday night, Spend Saturday and Sunday with the family. Monday morning rolls around and I let the wife sleep in, and put the kids on the bus. She wakes, we eat breakfast and have coffee, then I spend the day scouting. Tuesday through that Friday I hunt mornings until it warms to the point the deer arnt moving (generally about ten or eleven o'clock. Spend the afternoons with the wife doing whatever. Then the evenings with the kids. Saturday rolls around and I take the oldest boy (six) out hunting until he starts to complain that he is tired. Sunday, as we cant hunt, I take the youngest (four) out into the woods and teach him a thing or two. My last week home I planned on going out all day today, and just the morning tomorrow, then spend all of Wednesday with the wife before getting on the bird Thursday and going back to work, but decided to let her sleep in.
I would call that well balanced.
