I am a Red Neck and Southern as they Come
05-28-2008, 04:59 AM
#11
Nontypical Buck
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Spring Grove, Pa. USA
Posts: 2,120
RE: I am a Red Neck and Southern as they Come
ORIGINAL: TOPDAWGWOOFWOOF
1) never use skoal bandits, only CHEAP fine cut snuff(bandits only for sissies and wimps)
2) like to wear bandannas. they are cooler than hats
3) Have trouble understanding why people wear those sissy pastel pants tofootball games. Just makes you look gay.
Also important to consider -
- Live alone in the woods
- Buy second hand clothes to save money
- Eat ham sandwiches
- Drink cokes
- 16 inch guns
- 320 bench
- 2,000 crunches a day (As I get older the number must increase to keep the abs looking as good as they do)
- Drive a truck with 243, 500 miles on it
- Sit on my porch at night and think about life
- Get very sad when I drive across the country and sleep in the parking lot of a Wal-Mart (or something like it) and remember my youth
I've had a decent run but nothing lasts forever
1) never use skoal bandits, only CHEAP fine cut snuff(bandits only for sissies and wimps)
2) like to wear bandannas. they are cooler than hats
3) Have trouble understanding why people wear those sissy pastel pants tofootball games. Just makes you look gay.
Also important to consider -
- Live alone in the woods
- Buy second hand clothes to save money
- Eat ham sandwiches
- Drink cokes
- 16 inch guns
- 320 bench
- 2,000 crunches a day (As I get older the number must increase to keep the abs looking as good as they do)
- Drive a truck with 243, 500 miles on it
- Sit on my porch at night and think about life
- Get very sad when I drive across the country and sleep in the parking lot of a Wal-Mart (or something like it) and remember my youth
I've had a decent run but nothing lasts forever
2) bandana's are for blowing your nose.Get yourself a NY Yankee cap(don't forget to wear it backwards)
3) agree with you on the pants--they are gay
You have to considers these things--
-you live alone for a reason.Maybe it's your choice or maybe you can't find anybody to put up with you
-get a bath,go out and buy some new clothes.Women really don't like the Salvation Army look
-ham sandwiches--time to go out and shootsome of those world-class Florida deer we all keep hearing about
-coke's only good with Bacardi
-you work out--great!Discipline is a good trait
-trade the truck in.you know it's gonna let you sit real soon
-porch sitting.See above reply about socializing,drinking and peeing
-Sleeping in a Walmart lot remembering your youth--sorry but for some reason I found that a little humorous
Respect to you TOPDAWG
05-28-2008, 06:26 AM
#13
Giant Nontypical
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Nekoosa Wi USA
Posts: 6,066
RE: I am a Red Neck and Southern as they Come
Ya well I met my wife at the family reuinion at the county fair, she was eating a corn dog, leaning against the ferris wheel making it tilt. Then we had ourreception at wal-mart (easier to exchange the gifts). My favorite kind of beer is an open one. A shirt that says " I hunt because I cant hear my wife from my treestand". Ive got a shotgun a rifle and a 4 wheel drive. 3 legged, one eyeddog named Jake a belly full of beer and a opposum in a sack. the only snakeI have is on the grill. Have a sign on my door that says "Warning, Im blind, deaf and I have a gun" nailed to my trailer that is leaning at a 34deg angle on a slope. Where the hell did the wife go anywho......now thats redneck....
05-28-2008, 07:30 AM
#14
Nontypical Buck
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Southeast Alabama
Posts: 1,625
RE: I am a Red Neck and Southern as they Come
Well lets see...
I grew up on a road 5 miles long, we lived at the end and were the forth house.
My school only went up to the 6th grade then I had to transfer out.
I live in a trailer (but thats temp. I have a house being built the wife isn't as country).
I belong to an internet hunting forum (high tech redneck).
I have slept on a snadbars on the river while juggin' for catfish all night.
We've made bonfires so big the fire dept. showed up thinking the woods where on fire.
My first truck was a '79 F-350 supercab long bed with a 460. Second was a '81 F-100 with no tail lights.
Real men don't were PINK.
I have enough guns to handle anything critter around here two or four legged.
I'm a Republican.
I have raised and butchered turkeys, chickens, hogs, cows, &goats all in the same barn.
A 1200 lb bulls doesn't scare me ........ much.
I shoot tree rats out the from door.
I try to think up new interesting ways to kill armadillos.
I'm not afraid to buy lunch at a gas station.
During deer season I have been known to disappear for days at a time without a word.
The bad thing is most people around here don't think I'm very country much less a redneck.
I grew up on a road 5 miles long, we lived at the end and were the forth house.
My school only went up to the 6th grade then I had to transfer out.
I live in a trailer (but thats temp. I have a house being built the wife isn't as country).
I belong to an internet hunting forum (high tech redneck).
I have slept on a snadbars on the river while juggin' for catfish all night.
We've made bonfires so big the fire dept. showed up thinking the woods where on fire.
My first truck was a '79 F-350 supercab long bed with a 460. Second was a '81 F-100 with no tail lights.
Real men don't were PINK.
I have enough guns to handle anything critter around here two or four legged.
I'm a Republican.
I have raised and butchered turkeys, chickens, hogs, cows, &goats all in the same barn.
A 1200 lb bulls doesn't scare me ........ much.
I shoot tree rats out the from door.
I try to think up new interesting ways to kill armadillos.
I'm not afraid to buy lunch at a gas station.
During deer season I have been known to disappear for days at a time without a word.
The bad thing is most people around here don't think I'm very country much less a redneck.
05-28-2008, 07:52 AM
#15
Nontypical Buck
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Hampton Virginia
Posts: 1,607
RE: I am a Red Neck and Southern as they Come
Well 6' 1" 275 getting old but I bet I can still bench 225 5 times or so. Got 350 when I was 25. Turkey fan still in salt in the garage on the deep freeze. I had to quit dipping because my gums were falling out and it got so D@#* pricey. 10 racks on the wall of my garage and 4 mounts in the house. Back porch for my rocking and sitting so I can grill out. Speaking of White Castles, my wife is from KY and she loves them and her Mom and Dad just got back and brought 2 dozen of them nasty suckers back, and 5 dozen Big Red. I can eat a lot of stuff, 275, but that mess is nasty. Forgot to say that my first truck was a 1980 custom deluxe with 44 inch ground hawgs on it. Small block 350 putting out 410 HP.
05-28-2008, 09:00 AM
#17
Nontypical Buck
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: north florida
Posts: 1,277
RE: I am a Red Neck and Southern as they Come
-I quit the copenhagen a year ago because it was eating away at my gums.
-I have enough firearms to start a militia.
-On any given night I might be awaken by my neighbor's beagle treeing coons, possum, cats, or any other critter he can run up a tree.
-I own 5 deer dogs (although not penned at my house) and run them every weekend
-Every parcel of my grandfather's land has a deer stand on it
-I belong to two hunting clubs
-I willcommute 50 miles one way in a crappy car to the cityto work because iwill not ever leave my small hometown
-The county i live in is 90% rural timberland
-My wifedoghunted with me while she was pregnant, even trying to fill a doe tag(but she was unsucessful) after the doctor's consent
-I can't remember what i had for lunch yesterday, but i can tell you every deer crossing in 60,000 acres of timberland.
-My two year old daughter's favorite color is camo (which my wife hates) and two of her first words were 'big buck'
-I could drive a tractor by age 6, and alot of other heavy equipment years later.
-I cut swamp cabbage on a weekly basis during hunting season
I think i am more of ahybrid Floridacracker (FL crackercrossed with south GA redneck)
-I have enough firearms to start a militia.
-On any given night I might be awaken by my neighbor's beagle treeing coons, possum, cats, or any other critter he can run up a tree.
-I own 5 deer dogs (although not penned at my house) and run them every weekend
-Every parcel of my grandfather's land has a deer stand on it
-I belong to two hunting clubs
-I willcommute 50 miles one way in a crappy car to the cityto work because iwill not ever leave my small hometown
-The county i live in is 90% rural timberland
-My wifedoghunted with me while she was pregnant, even trying to fill a doe tag(but she was unsucessful) after the doctor's consent
-I can't remember what i had for lunch yesterday, but i can tell you every deer crossing in 60,000 acres of timberland.
-My two year old daughter's favorite color is camo (which my wife hates) and two of her first words were 'big buck'
-I could drive a tractor by age 6, and alot of other heavy equipment years later.
-I cut swamp cabbage on a weekly basis during hunting season
I think i am more of ahybrid Floridacracker (FL crackercrossed with south GA redneck)
05-28-2008, 09:42 AM
#20
Nontypical Buck
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Alabama
Posts: 1,068
RE: I am a Red Neck and Southern as they Come
Sorry, but I have to reply. I don't know why we're having a "Who's more redneck" contest, but some of these things have nothing to do with redneck and I doubt that many of you have ever seen a true redneck. RUGER seems to know what he's talkin about, maybe because he's a fellow Alabamian, but he's right when he says most people around here don't consider people like him country. You boys on here ain't seen bonified true "Redneck". Are some of you saying that if you don't benchpress a sh*tload of weight you aint redneck? That's hilarious, because being physically big aint got a thing to do with it. Also, being a Redneck and being "Southern" are two totally different things. I'm extremely "Southern", hence the name, and I'm a redneck in some ways also, but I don't wanna get into that cause I aint tryin to prove how red my neck is. Lemme just clarify a few "thangs". Driving a tractor doesn't make you a redneck, it just means you have larger areas and fields to tend to and it would be more efficient to use a larger machine. Dipping skoal or whatever your brand of choice only makes you redneck if you don't own a toothbrush, you sleep with a hawgleg in your mouth, you're missing most teeth, the teeth you have left are stained dark yellow, and you spit in natural light cans. .....I'm guilty of the last. Just b/c you have a bunch of guns dont make you a redneck, those crazy kids that shoot up schools usually own an arsenal of weapons and they are far from a redneck. Wearing camo doesnt make you any more of a redneck than if you just wear a white tshirt and jeans.....I know many old men who have killed more deer than any of us while wearing overalls and beat up tennis shoes. I grew up ten minutes from the Talladega Superspeedway and have been to every single race since I was 11. I just recently stopped going because its too predictable. Anyways, I have seen REDNECK. Have you ever seen a drunk pregnant woman with a cig hangin out her mouth run bare-footed across a highway in front of traffic just to pull her shirt up for some Dale Earnhardt SR. beads??? Didnt think so. You ever sat next to a couple during a race and watched them smoke 2 packs of cigarettes and drink a gallon of vodka and orange juice during the first half of the race, then commenced to yelling at each other about who was better Jeff Gordon or Dale Jr., then see the woman be carried out on a stretcher after passing out, and the husband stayed for the race and cut his jeans off into shorts.....one leg being way shorter than the other....? Thats redneck. I saw an old man with a huge homemade (looked like it was done in jail) Dale Sr. tattoo on his arm attack a guy in a Jeff Gordon painted wheelchair for saying Dale Sr. was a dead a*s and he's glad he hit the wall. I could go on for days, but it would probably shock most of yall here. Come down here for the fall race at Talladega and walk around the campgrounds, you'll see a redneck or two.....especially if it rains, it's like nothing you'll ever see in your life. Don't get me wrong, there may be a few true necks on this forum, but from what I've read, yall aint got a clue.