The Deer and the Lawyer
10-26-2007, 09:41 AM
#1
The Deer and the Lawyer
The Deer &the Lawyer
A big city lawyer went deer hunting in rura AlabamaHe shot and dropped a buck, but it ran andfell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence.
As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.
The litigator responded, "I shot a buck and it fell in this field, and now I' m going to retrieve it."
The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."
The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the United States and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own."
The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes inAlabama We settle small disagreements with the "Three Kick Rule."
The lawyer asked, "What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?"
The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on, so forth;back and forth until someone gives up."
The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel toed work boot into the lawyer's groin! and dropped him to his knees.
His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth.
The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.
The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you old codger.
Now it's my turn."
(I love this part)
The old farmer smiled and said , "Nah, I give up. You can have the buck."
dd
A big city lawyer went deer hunting in rura AlabamaHe shot and dropped a buck, but it ran andfell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence.
As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.
The litigator responded, "I shot a buck and it fell in this field, and now I' m going to retrieve it."
The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."
The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the United States and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own."
The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes inAlabama We settle small disagreements with the "Three Kick Rule."
The lawyer asked, "What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?"
The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on, so forth;back and forth until someone gives up."
The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel toed work boot into the lawyer's groin! and dropped him to his knees.
His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth.
The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.
The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you old codger.
Now it's my turn."
(I love this part)
The old farmer smiled and said , "Nah, I give up. You can have the buck."
dd
10-26-2007, 05:40 PM
#6
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 321
RE: The Deer and the Lawyer
In Pennsylvania the laws were recently changed to say that you cannot no longer tresspass onto another mans property to retrieve wounded to dead animals.
So the right answer would have been to tell the farmer that he did not know who owned the land and that he was sorry for attempting to tresspass onto his property and could he please retrieve his animal.
Then if the landowner said no, you thank him for his time and apologise a second time for what you attempted to do.
Most real farmers do not want wild animals eating their crops and are more than happy - if approached in the right direction and asked for permission.
Anyone making a joke out of some old farmer and some city slicker lawyer should look in the mirror and see what he is laughing about.
So the right answer would have been to tell the farmer that he did not know who owned the land and that he was sorry for attempting to tresspass onto his property and could he please retrieve his animal.
Then if the landowner said no, you thank him for his time and apologise a second time for what you attempted to do.
Most real farmers do not want wild animals eating their crops and are more than happy - if approached in the right direction and asked for permission.
Anyone making a joke out of some old farmer and some city slicker lawyer should look in the mirror and see what he is laughing about.
10-26-2007, 05:46 PM
#7
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: West Virginia
Posts: 510
RE: The Deer and the Lawyer
ORIGINAL: The Rifleman
In Pennsylvania the laws were recently changed to say that you cannot no longer tresspass onto another mans property to retrieve wounded to dead animals.
So the right answer would have been to tell the farmer that he did not know who owned the land and that he was sorry for attempting to tresspass onto his property and could he please retrieve his animal.
Then if the landowner said no, you thank him for his time and apologise a second time for what you attempted to do.
Most real farmers do not want wild animals eating their crops and are more than happy - if approached in the right direction and asked for permission.
Anyone making a joke out of some old farmer and some city slicker lawyer should look in the mirror and see what he is laughing about.
In Pennsylvania the laws were recently changed to say that you cannot no longer tresspass onto another mans property to retrieve wounded to dead animals.
So the right answer would have been to tell the farmer that he did not know who owned the land and that he was sorry for attempting to tresspass onto his property and could he please retrieve his animal.
Then if the landowner said no, you thank him for his time and apologise a second time for what you attempted to do.
Most real farmers do not want wild animals eating their crops and are more than happy - if approached in the right direction and asked for permission.
Anyone making a joke out of some old farmer and some city slicker lawyer should look in the mirror and see what he is laughing about.
10-26-2007, 05:48 PM
#8
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 321
RE: The Deer and the Lawyer
Why don't you just tell a Pollock joke?
The one I like to tell is the one where I worked in Potter County - Pennsylvania. A friend and I were road hunting and we saw a nice farm where we decided to ask the farmer for permission to hunt on his land.
The farmer was a nice person and gave us permission. Only my buddy was in the truck and did not know what had just transpired.
It seem's that the farmer asked me if I would dispatch a certain mule that he had beside the barn. It was old and sick and couldn't work anymore and it's teeth were worn so bad that it couldn't eat and it was starving to death.
The man said that his mule was like a member of the family and he just didn't have the heart to pull the trigger. Me being the man that I am agreed to do it for him.
On my way back to the truck I decided to play a little trick on my buddy.
I opened the door all mad at the world and asked him - where is my gun.
My buddy asked what is wrong? I told him that the SOB told me to get off his property. I told my buddy " I'll fix him"!
So I loaded my rifle and I shot his mule. Only when I pulled the trigger,I heard two shots.
My buddy said "I fixed him, I shot one of his cow's!"
The one I like to tell is the one where I worked in Potter County - Pennsylvania. A friend and I were road hunting and we saw a nice farm where we decided to ask the farmer for permission to hunt on his land.
The farmer was a nice person and gave us permission. Only my buddy was in the truck and did not know what had just transpired.
It seem's that the farmer asked me if I would dispatch a certain mule that he had beside the barn. It was old and sick and couldn't work anymore and it's teeth were worn so bad that it couldn't eat and it was starving to death.
The man said that his mule was like a member of the family and he just didn't have the heart to pull the trigger. Me being the man that I am agreed to do it for him.
On my way back to the truck I decided to play a little trick on my buddy.
I opened the door all mad at the world and asked him - where is my gun.
My buddy asked what is wrong? I told him that the SOB told me to get off his property. I told my buddy " I'll fix him"!
So I loaded my rifle and I shot his mule. Only when I pulled the trigger,I heard two shots.
My buddy said "I fixed him, I shot one of his cow's!"
