For those with Children
 

I have a 13 yr old son and he loves to go to the hunting club, but he cries when I try to get him to set in a stand. Either he is afriad to climb up (this is with me already in the stand) or he is afriad to set there. We have not bought him a gun yet, as we want him to be able to set there either with us or by himself.

When we hunt together, he will not climb into the stand, he is afriad to, so he sets on the ground under my stand.

How can I help him overcome his fears. I do not understand why he is so afraid. He actually walks through 5 acres of land, that is very well grown up in the dark to catch the school bus. He has seen deer and foxes while walking, yet he is afriad here.

Any help??

Thanks
Kim

RE: For those with Children
 

Is it possible he likes to shoot or spend time
with you but does'nt really want to hunt or
kill a deer?
What does he say about his fear? A 13 yr old
should be able to tell you what the problem is.
Don't mean to sound harsh, just sounds like
there's more to it.

PK

RE: For those with Children
 

Gee Probably when he is ask why he is upset he wont open up.Is he scared of high places ? Just let him sit on the ground if thats what he wants.And if he wants to hunt with a weapon he will tell you.He might even say yes to please you.But I bet if he really dont want to kill a animal he will miss.Let it work out itself and when he is ready he will tell you what the problem is if you dont push him to do what you want him to do.

RE: For those with Children
 

Give him time and definitely don't force him. This could have a more negative effect on him. It took me a long time to finally climb and sit in a stand (I think I was about 21 at the time and was already hunting for about 6 years). I never felt comfortable, but one dayI did it and haven't looked back. I think the real lesson now is to instill good practices in him such as good sprotsmanship, respect for nature, etc. Spending time with Dadin the woods means more to me than the actual hunt.

RE: For those with Children
 

If the only issue is the tree stand, it sounds like it's a fear of heights (acrophobia). If that turns out to be the only issue, why not have him hunt from the ground?

I personally feel that all phobias should be faced and overcome, but the deer woods is probably not the best place for that.

I had some terrible social phobias as a teen and was especially uncomfortable in large crowds. My dad (well meaning)tried to get me over it with a few trips to NYC when I was 15. I darn near had a panic attack when he tried to get me to ride the subway during rush hour. Thankfully he relented and didn't yell at me.Forcingthe issue did nothing helpful.What finally got me over it was a love of music. If I wanted to go to rock concets, I had to deal with crowds. The problem worked itself out.

RE: For those with Children
 

Sounds like fear of heights to me...and perfectly understandable. I have to say I dont much care for being up there myself, especially on windy days when my pine tree waves around a lot! Another likely scenario is that he's bored out of his skull. Here are a few bits of advice that have worked wonders for me:

1) Consider all hunts with your child to be HIS hunts....consider yourself a "guide" whose only job is to make sure your "customer" enjoys the hunt. When I take my son (9 year old) he hunts where he wants to hunt, leaves when he's ready to leave, explores when he's ready to explore. He hasn't harvested a deer yet, but he has a blast and always wants to go back. Each year he spends more and more time hunting and less and less time playing. My son has been going since he was 5, and by now he has learned all about rubs, scrapes, feeding and bedding areas, hunting the wind, safety, camping, etc. When he's ready, he'll be well prepared to go it alone.

2) Hunt on the ground with him! There are manyground hunting techniques you can teach him. Spend a day showing him how to scout out a good groundhunting site, cut shooting lanes, build a blind, etc.

3) Fight the boredom--above all else, I think boredom kills a kid's interest in hunting. First of all, at 13 years old I think your son should be allowed to carry a weapon (after you've taught him gun safety and he's had plenty of practice with it, AND shown you he's able to handle the responsibility). My son "hunted" with me from age 5 to 8 without a weapon. Last year, at age 8, I got him a youth model single shot .410 shotgun and we spent our time at deer camp that year teaching him how to handle and shoot it. By the time we left camp last year he was putting slugs into the kill zone on our target consistently at 30 yards. We practiced a few more times over the summer and this year he is carrying the gun into the woods (with me) and really hunting -- his interest level is 100% higher. Note that I make sure his gun is not loaded until we are sitting in our stand or blind, and it is not cocked until a deer is approaching. Secondly, consider letting your son take a hand-held video game with him. My son takes his Gameboy and plays it when he starts to get bored. He wears head phones and I pay attention to what is happening in the woods for him while he plays. It has increased the amount of time he can spend in the woods by hours.

One day soon he'll be ready to leave all that behind and really hunt. Of course, then I'll expect him to beMY outfitter and guide. I can't tell you how much my buddy and I look forward to having our boys set up the camp before we arrive, do all the cooking and cleaning, break it all down after we're gone, and put it all away when we get home!

Hope that helps. Good luck to you.

RE: For those with Children
 

I would try getting a shooting house and start off with short (5 or so foot) legs on it. Let him help in the setting up of the stand. Then over time increase the length of the legs till he is more comfortable with it. Get him a .243 and let him start shooting it. The reality of him being able to harvest a deer will make him want to get higher over a couple of years. If he doesn't enjoy being in a stand it will turn him away from hunting.

RE: For those with Children
 

I'm 38 and I don't care for heights or sitting still for long periods either. I couldn't imagine trying it at 13! If he is genuinly afraid do not force him to do it. It will just make it worse and you will push him away. When I was young I didn't care much for the water. I was afraid to go under water and didn't swim all that well. Someone had the bright idea to just throw me in the deep end and I would have to learn to swim. Well guess who doesn't like the water now. I'm not afraid of it, and swim quite well, but I could care less if do it. I have no desire to swim, dive, ski or anything else.

Without actually talking to him to see what the problem is it is really hard to tell you what to do. I like a lot of the advice you have aready been given though. I think if you are gun hunting you should be ok off the ground. Bow hunting is much better in a tree though.

My advice is not to push him to do anything he doesn't feel comfortable doing. I mean you can push him to try it, but if he tries and doesn't like it that is his decision. If he likes the gun club, keep taking him. Maybe get him into some sort of shooting sport other than deer hunting out of a stand. Like target shooting, skeet, archery or something like that.

If he doesn't want to hunt deer then let him try bunny or bird hunting. He might enjoy that more. I am pretty active so I actually prefer bunny or pheasant hunting to sitting in a blind all day. You are up moving around which I like more. Or even get him into fishing? What ever you do try and get him involved in the outdoors in some way. And try and make it enjoyable. I have seen guys push too hard and turn thier kids into anti hunters. We don't want that. I never hunted deer until I was in my 30's, but I never had anything against it either. Just had no desire to do it is all.

I say have a buddy at the club he likes sit down and talk to him about it. Maybe with you not around, and make sure no one makes fun of him or teases him about it. At least until you understand what is going on for sure;). And then I wouldn't be mean about it. He might open up to someone else because he doesn't want to dissapoint you. You might find out exactly what is wrong, or if he has different interests.

Paul

RE: For those with Children
 

As I said, I did'nt mean to be harsh and really don't
think I was. More important than "why won't he climb
into the deer stand" is why is he walking with you to the
deer stand and then crying rather than telling you he
does'nt want to go, or even telling you he's changed his
mind. I realize he's just 13 but let's face it, you are getting
ready to put a rifle in his hands. Talk to him but more
important LISTEN TO HIM.
Hunting from the ground, tree or box makes no difference.
Get your son to talk to you in aplace he feels secure.
Find out what's going on for sure. Let him make up his
mind what he wants to do and tell you what it is.

PK

RE: For those with Children
 

Don't force him to use the tree stand if he does not want too. You might just lose your hunting partner. Let him hunt from the ground. teach him how to use the ground cover as a blind. I myself have been hunting for 20 years and have never been in a tree stand.

RE: For those with Children
 

There has been a lot of good advice given so far... If he is afraid of heights, then let him hunt from the ground. However, if it is that he doesn't want to kill something, maybe he could spend some time carrying a camera instead of a gun. Its the route I'm trying to take with my 10-year-old daughter. I realize that there is no way I'll get her to hunt with her brothers and me, but I still want her to be able to experience some of the same things, so I'm trying to talk her into coming out with me and we'll just see if we can call in some deer for some good pictures. (Of course, my luck will be that the 30-pointer decides to walk up broadside 25 yards away when we only have cameras...)

RE: For those with Children
 

Kim:

Is it absolutely necessary to hunt from a stand where you do your hunting? I have been deer hunting for three years and have taken three deer, never a one of these deer were taken from a stand. I hunt exclusively from ground blinds because my hunting host doesn't want me to put up any stands (he is concerned it will draw poachers, he says). If possible given the condition of your property, you might just let your son hunt from ground blinds.

RE: For those with Children
 

Ask why? If he's afraid of heights, set a low stand, even in your yard, say 4 feet up. Then slowly move it up as he gets comfortable. Rig up a rope from above the stand hanging down and use a prussic knot from his harness to the rope as he climbs up. This should give him some security for fear of falling.

Climb up one step behind him. I did this with my 13 year old this fall to get him up his first one, also to help hook into the harness up there. With you one step below, his legs are actually inside you to give him "support"

If all else fails, millions of deer have been shot from the ground, it works!

RE: For those with Children
 

Simply put... don't force the issue. My daughter went out for the first time this year (she's 6) and she had fun climbing the stand, but she woulda had a TON more fun if I had a blind to take her in so she could read, or play or eat or whatever. Blinds are EXCELLENT tools to start kids hunting young, or even observing young. My nephew went out this year, he's 3, and he ended up falling asleep in a blind, it doesn't limit their ability to move and if they are afraid of heights that solves that lickety split. JUST DON"T FORCE IT! Remember it's okay if they don't turn out just like you, they are individual people with individual fears, wants, desires, etc... and 12 feet in the air feels like 30 feet in the air to someone who isn't so big....

RE: For those with Children
 

I do not understand the dont push him deal.You are there parent not a friend. My son is only 5 now.But when he was not quite 4 he wanted very bad to go hunt yotes at night with me.I set the RULES if he did not folow them very close [ he is only 4] HE DID NOT GO.Well gess what he hunts with me any time I will let him [some time the weather is a bit bad for a 5 year old] I do and have made exeptions for him.

I do think BOb H in NH has the deal. But in no way would I let him deside when and where. I think this a big reasion why the good old USA is so messed up. All the moms /dads are saying well when you are ready you can do it.The world is full of HAVE TO DO THINGS. Hunting is one of them. If you want to kill deer/yotes or any thing for that matter you have to do things.Ask my 5 year old son.He will tell you set still and dont talk the deer will come.

Charles Bradford

RE: For those with Children
 

Sounds like a fear of heights. Seems to me if he didn't want to kill one, he wouldn't be there to see you do it either.

Have you asked him why he didn't want to hunt out of the stand? Won't he open up to you when he realizes there's no harm in ANY reason why he wouldn't do it, and that you just want to know so you can come up with a solution (e.g. making a ground blind if his fear is heights)?

RE: For those with Children
 

Elkin,
There are many things that we HAVE to do as you say. But hunting is NOT one of them. There are many things that we need to push our kids to do and hunting is NOT one of them.
There are many things that we have to do to hunt, and being in a tree stand is NOT one of them
When my daughter (12 years old last year) asked if she could go hunting I was very excited that she did. She did not and will still not go up in a stand. Yet.
I bought a ground blind and she , and I, were very happy to sit in it, quietly talk, allow her to sleep a bit when she needed to, be very comfortable etc. That afternoon she shot a doe. She's hooked. If I had made her sit in a tree stand she might have not enjoyed herself, asked to get out earlier, not been there long enough to see the deer and we may have lost a hunter.
Most likely, as she gets a little older, she'll get in a stand but for now i'm very much enjoying the time on the ground hunting with her

RE: For those with Children
 

Scrider,
BTW, I thought your post was excellent. This is the attitude I have taken with my daughter and I now hope to have a hunting buddy for life.

Some others feel that you should be a parent not a friend and have a do as I say attitude with this. I agree when we are talking about hunting safety at this age. But when it comes to the hunting experience itself I disagree. It is an experience to be shared. It’s not always about MY way of hunting. Sometimes I like letting her decide on location, hunting method etc. She explains her reasoning based on what we have read , seen and learned together. Can you imagine how excited we will be when she makes those decisions and produces? WOW

RE: For those with Children
 

I also am petrified of heights. I'm not joking. Is the stand a climber or one built into the tree ? Anyway I would have him climb small. Maybe a 6 foot stand and then gradually go higher. I'm up to about 11 foot. It's a serious thing and you will gradually need to build his confidence.
Chuck7

RE: For those with Children
 

I gess the main difrance is I took my son when he was not ever 3 years old. Packed his but 3 to 7 miles elk hunting on my back.He now at just 10 days over 5 years old will wall[or crall] t5ill I say stop.You can say I am very harsh. He can allso call elk for me and hunting buddys with a read call. Heck most nem cant do that.He will allso put in his imfo on what we should do. I ask for this most every time hunting with him.I am lucky I am a stay at home dad. With my kids every day.

At 12 and 13 years old I will never have to tell my kids to climb a stand they will have done it many years befor that old.People do not push there kids as much as I think they should be.Out of the ton of people I know with kids here in MT non of them take there kids till they are well over 10.Funny how my boy at age 5 has been with me on 4 elk kills. And most peoples kids only get to see them dead in the truck at that age.All the elk where bow killed.My son dose not go rifle hunting [exept yotes] As I do not do much rifle hunting.

My little girl is not even 2 yet but we [wife and I] have taken her and my boy hunting many times allready.

Dose any one ever climb trees with there kids any more.Just for fun.I do this all the time with mine.Maby take them to the park on the gyms.They are not much difrant than a tree stand.

I say push your kids they will get better than you are.

And what I ment for my kids There are things you have to do if you are going to go hunting with me. I have taken many many kids that where not mine nore where they related. Not one of them had a proble folowing the rules. If they did not DO AS I TOLD THEM. They would stay home the next time. So far I have never had to do this 2 times.Funny how a kid will do all they can get away with.And do every thing they are told to do.If there is some bad ending if they do not.No bad endding they do what they want :}

RE: For those with Children
 

Elk,
That is awesome how you were able to take your kids out at such a young age. I would have taken mine if I had been hunting back then I can tell you that.
You're right. When I was growing up in NYI would climb every tree i could find. When I moved to FL and had kids there were very few climbable trees in our neighborhood. Mostly palm trees. My daughters have never climbed a tree in their lives hence the reluctancy to get in a tree stand.

Safety wise it's my way or the highway also when it comes to taking kids out hunting with me. In fact, when it comes to adults I do not hunt with anyone that I do not consider a very safe hunter.

Bet you can't wait until the kids can take the elk for themselves

RE: For those with Children
 

DannyD I have tons trees here in MT. I would be glade to help you and your kids find some good ones to climb.

I am very lucky that me and the wife hunt/fish togeather. I see a lot of guys that cannot take there kids dew to fights with there wives.

The boy is an asom hunter allready :} He allso traps with me cought many mice last year :} boy he gets a kick out of trapping mice.

I allso do not bend in the safe part of any hunt. I do a lot of bending taking the kids. Spent many days going 400 yards at a time,when I wanted to move miles in the same time.

I will be very glade when the boy can yote hunt.[here in MT you do not need any tags. So no age needed. I have a sawed off 22 bolt with his name on it.

Good yacking with you.
Charles Bradford

I meen it if you ever come to MT I could show you a ton of fun items.

RE: For those with Children
 

I thouhgt it was afriad of hieghts, but my dad build tree stand and he will climb them in the backyard, just not at the club. Even if my dad is there he will not climb them at the club. He climbed one in the backyard that was alot higher than the one we can both sit in at the club. It is wierd.

Nw I forgot to add, he is 13, with the maturty of a 10 yr old. This is want the Dr told me. He has some learning problems as well. this is one reason why we have not got him a gun. He does not show us he is responsible enouhg tohave a gun yet. We have let him shoto our guns on occassion, but he does nto have his own gun.

He actually prefer a walking hunt. In our area, it is best to hunt from a stand as the brushes are over 6 foot and you will nto see anything unless you up higher than that. or you sit in the middle of the rd and see if one comes into the road.

I am not sure what we are gonna do, we are working on thei isseu. My hsuabd pushes. I do not. I jsut say okay, fine, sit on the ground. I think he may be afriad a deer is gonana attack him.

RE: For those with Children
 

10-4,Danny!

RE: For those with Children
 

Hey i dont have kids... im a kid still myself (19). I grew up hunting in New Mexico with my grandfather and uncles. When hunting with Uncle Dave we would cover up to 10 miles walking in a day (stalking and pushing ridge to ridge). I saw him kill a 31in spread 4x4 and i was hooked! There was no chance to ever use a stand but there were days i sat the ground for a couple hours at a time. It taught me a lot about hunting and about the value of a stand... think about a hunt in a place like NM were there is no time to get board... Unit 2B is a good choice.
My brother never came around to hunting... I did... guess i was lucky

RE: For those with Children
 

Hey Kim,
I came acrossthese articles on field and stream today, the link is
http://www.fieldandstream.com/fieldstream/outdoorskills/article/0,13199,1127117,00.html
It looks like they have some good stuff for the situation you are in. I don't have kids, and am still one myself (only 20), but thought these would be helpful.

AJA

RE: For those with Children
 

Kim,
You're on the right track not pushing him. He's not ready so
there's more chance of turning him off hunting than on to it.
There being more to this than originally posted makes a difference.
Your doctor telling you he has the maturity of a 10 yr old and having
a learning disablity should not keep him from being a hunter but it
will take alot more patience from you and your husband. Continue
taking him along but don't try to force him. Not giving him a rifle is
a good idea until he's shown he's completly ready. The advice about
practicing some of these skills (tree climbing and such) at home making
it fun and safe is a good one. Firearms safety training is a must. Just
keep being patient and supportive of him and what he is ready for and
things will work out. Remember, we're not all hunters. Sad but true.

PK

RE: For those with Children
 

Got a 43 year old baby I hunt with and just last year he bought a stand. He was scared to climb up to 15-20 feet. I told him he does not have to. Just start out at 5 feet above the ground and when you are comfy at that distance go higher. My recommendation would be to have your son in his own stand and let him start off 3-4 feet off the ground and work up from there.

RE: For those with Children
 

"This is want the Dr told me. He has some learning problems as well."

Hey Kim I am a special education teacher who teaches kids with emotional disabilities and learning disabilities. When a doctor says that, he may mean your son does not learn well from books....not from a verbal exchange or from hands on learning...there is a big difference. My older brother did not learn well from school but can learn things from hands on work. He barely graduated from highschool but now he owns his own landscaping business and is a great worker and employer.....if a doctor ever says that to you again, ask him/her exactly what they mean(if they have any idea)...I would be glad to help you with anything to do with your son and his "learning" issues...I have kids at my school who can barely make it from one class to another without getting in trouble, yet they have 120-130 IQ's...I also have kids who are 6 foot 5 and are 15 years old, yet emotionally act like they are 5 years younger. It is nothing to be ashamed about. Best of luck and if you need any support, let me know.

vashadowhunter