mom's funeral
 

i didn't know where to post this. i posted on AT because i'm only known over there for making strings and am not so attached to it as i am to some of you who have become friends here on this site.

mom took a turn for the worse about 5 weeks ago when the cancer jumped to her brain after an 8 year fight. she had a seizure at work. that's how they found out. within a week 1 or more of the brain tumors started bleeding and she was hospitalized. i immediately packed up and went to charlotte, nc to be with her. stayed until the end, last sunday at 2:30 pm. it was a peaceful passing, thank goodness. she opened her eyes and connected with all of us - first time in days, shed 2 tears, closed her eyes and passed in about 20 seconds. you could see the rapid eye movement starting and i knew she was having 'That' experience of passing right in front of me while i held her hand. it was a very sweet moment, very sweet, and i'm so grateful i have that memory.
BUT, i'm having a hard time getting my sh!* together. bad dreams, tired all the time, no motivation, i guess they call it depression. i got to go hunting yesterday, and that was nice, but i could use a little experience with how long i'm going to be feeling useless, drugged (i'm not), and just empty. john

RE: mom's funeral
 

Sorry for your loss.

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Wish there were somthing we could say or do for you. It just takes time. I lost my Grandfather ten years ago to cancer and I still miss him today. It took a few months for everything to get back to normal.

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I am very sorry to hear of your loss.

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John,

I'm truly sorry for your loss...

I lost my mother last year andI experienced pretty much the same feelings as you.With me,the empty feelingsdidn't last too awefullong but the memories of her, well, it's been since last June when she past and there's yet to be a day that I haven't thought of or talked about her at least once.

Memories are forever....

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I feel your pain bud,, lost my dad when I was 18 and he was 50. There's so much I didn't get to say to him and sure wish at times I could turn to ask his advice. There's a better place whenwe go,a reaction tomorphine coming out of surgery after my tractor accident put me "in the light". Heart and lungs shut down and they had to shock and bag me while an anti-morphine shot worked on me, the most peaceful sleep I've ever had.
Your mother was proud of you and you'll continue until you meet her again;)

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Sorry for your loss. What you are feeling is normal for the most part. If you feel you need it see a grief counselor or talk to your family doctor about the sleep problem. Depending on how close you were to your mom this could be a long road. Everyone deals a bit differently.

And obviously if you need to talk or vent we are here for you. Either do it on the forum or PM someone. You can even IM me on yahoo if you would like. My yahoo ID is biteme263 .

Eventually it will get better, it will never be right, but it will get better in time.

Glad you able to be there.

Paul

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I just would like to say I am truly SORRY for your loss...All deal with the loss of a loved one in different ways and it is a hard hurdle to get over but the letting go is the hardest I think....Just hold onto the good memories and know she is in a better place...

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Gibblet,
My condolences my friend. This one especially hits home today as I found out this week that my mother has lung cancer. She's a tough old girl and has already survived breast cancer 8 years ago but this one scares me. Probably because I remember my dad dieing of lung cancer 7 years ago. I found when my father died that after a while I started thinking more of what made me laugh about the old guy and shake my head, that worked for me. It takes time but you will learn to deal with it my friend.

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iam sorry to here about your mom john,one think you can rember she is in a better place and she dosnt have to suffer anymore, try to thing of all the goods times you had together, good friends are also good support when a friend is down.

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i appreciate all the kind words and thoughts, a lot.

terry, i'm really sorry to hear about your mom. try and get all the time you can with her.

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I can't evenbegin to express how truly sorry I am to hear about that. In all honesty I can't even imagine what you are going through. We're here for youman. Like someone else said you can vent to us. My aol is timmy freeze if you ever want to IM. Keep your head up and the son in your eyes. She's in a much much better place than we can ever imagine. Keep your head up bud.

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John, I'm very sorry to hear about your loss. My wife and I offer our condolences. It will take some time for things to settle down emotionally and personally the best thing I found was to continue to talk with friends and family. Don't bottle it all up inside. It only makes it worse.

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Sorry to hear of your loss. Thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.

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I'm very sorry for your loss!I wish you well with coming to terms with your mom's passing.I hope for peace for you.

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John, I noticed you were becoming a stranger around these parts and now realize why.
I’m saddened to hear of your mothers passing and you and your family will be in my prayers.

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Sorry for your loss. All of us here will help in any way we can. Praying for you and your family.

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Sorry to hear of your loss Gibblet. And good for you for being there with her. I know of what you mean from experience (Dad).

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i am truly sorry to hear of your loss. God bless you and your family

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I had the same thing happen with my father, nine years ago last week. It took me a little time and medicationto get over it. And then you don't get completely over it. It probably took me six months to get past the worst of it.

What helped me that year is taking his deer rifle and hunting with it that season.I killed four deer that season with it. I felt like he was there every time I went hunting that season.

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Sorry for what you are going through and hope you can find a way through it.

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I always have the saddest of hearts when I read of the passing of friends and family. I can't begin to tell you how sorry I feel for your loss. It's a cruel part of our existence to have to see others pass on. But I pray there is a reason and a bigger picture that will some day shed light on why we must endure such pain and sorrow now.

I hope when that day comeswe will find peace and again be with the ones we love.

You are in my prayers.

John B.

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First , I'm sorry for your loss. I've been there , my mother passed in 88 , she was only 58 years old. The first thing you need to realize is what a much better place she's at now. What your feeling is deep sadness because you'll miss her , and you'll always miss her. But you can feel happy about where she's at and miss her at the same time. How do you think it would make her feel if she could see you now? (and I believe she can). She would want you to know that she's great where she's at and that you should be enjoying life because it's so short. Just remember , she's gone from here physically , but not spiritually! Take her hunting with you when you go. I still take my mom on every hunting trip.:)

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I am sorry that you lost your mom. No matter how prepared a person thinks they are.....you are really not. In time your soul will heal, and you can always know that she will always be with you with memories shared.

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Sorry to hear about the loss of your mother. The death of a loved one is tough and hard to deal with. I know how you feel, i lost my mother on Nov 16, 1990andmy Fatherlast year on Sept 27. 2004 and both deaths were hard on me. I'm a Christian and have a strong faith in God and thats what got me through the death of both my parents. I know their in a better place and i'll see them again one day. I know it's hard on you right now but time has a way of healing and although you'll never get over it you will learn to live with it and life goes on. My prayers are lifted for you and the family. God Bless. Mike

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I am sorry to here about your mom[&o]I understand how you fill. I lost my mother in 97 the day after christmas she also had health problems that turned for the worse,
know she is in a much better place, I know it seemsveryhard for youto take right now.
But your faithwill keep you strong knowing that you will see her again someday.Time willease thepain my friend.

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with my wife's help i'm trying to get back on the horse. i made a set of strings today - first ones in about 3 weeks, cut the grass... i just don't feel like getting off the couch, but hopefully making myself will help me get to where i can function. i didn't think it would be this hard, i really didn't. i decided if i'm not starting to feel a little better by sunday i'm going to call a grief counselor next week. i'm worried i'm going to try and medicate myself if i don't, and that didn't have good results in my youth.

i want to thank all of you for your thoughts and kind words. i really enjoy coming here and seeing the support. john, aka gibblet, aka bucknasty.

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Hey John,
Here is a suggestion for you. Make a list of tasks to accomplish everyday and gradually build up the quantity of tasks. Before you know it you will again be filling your days. Don't forget to schedule in some fun stuff like shooting or hunting.

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LOL terry, i got no problem getting my practice in, i'm not in quite that bad of shape.its the only thing i'm enjoying, but i can't just shoot all day - i'm pretty good, but not good enough to make a living at it. now if i just had a deer farm i could have my own hunting show like the ones i see on tv (except i'd let you see the fence they were in and the neighborhood kids playing with them before i 'hunted' them down).

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My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family,Hope all goes well for you soon.

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I know how you feel. My father passed on this day three years ago. My mom is having the same things happen to her as you are. The bad dreams and all that stuff. I know it is hard, but the only way to make it easier is to be strong. The way that I make myself feel better is to think that my father is in a better place. He is not suffering in pain and he is with his uncle drinking beers and hunting everyday. I was there when he passed and had to ask the doctors to stop recessitating him. That was the hardest thing to do. Its hard and time will feel that it is passing at the slowest rate. But it will get better over time. My prayers are with you my brother, and I hope things will be better in the future. God Bless

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John,

I don't know how I missed this before but would like to offer my condolensces. I have not had that particular experience yet but wish you the best of luck in getting through it.

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Time will take care of you, but now you are depressed. Here are few things you should do:

Stay busy, don't let your mind wander off on sad thoughts
Gather your family and friends around you.None of them have to do or say anything special, just get them close to you.
Pray
Read the Bible, especially the Book of Job
Get to bed every day at the same time and get up in the morning at the same time. Try not to sleep too much
Exercise
Put up a picture of your mother in a place you can see it easily
If you drink alcohol, cut back or give it up for a while
Keep eating, even if you are not really hungry

I lost my mother to cancer in 1969, she was 45 I was 18. Believe me, I still have bad dreams about it.

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John!

Just to let you know that I know what your going through bud,I've been there myself when my father passed . I'm sure you'll find that thing's get a little easier with time and that you'll alway's remember the speacial thing's that happened as you were growing .If you need to chat ,you have my number ,I'm all ear's if you need to vent bud.

Your best bud

nubo

RE: mom's funeral
 

just an update. i really appreciate all the support here. i really do.

i'm realizing that i've still got mom in my head and heart, and no one can take that away, and that is really starting to help me. this thing really hit me hard on all levels of my being - mentally, spiritually, and physically. we're amazing creatures and while i wondered if i was going to be able to bounce back, i'm now realizing i am bouncing back. i want to thank God for giving me a strong spirit that always comes back, my family, and all the archers and bowhunters around the world who have offered prayers, support, understanding, and those who didn't complain 1 bit when they had to wait 3 weeks for their strings and just said don't worry about it - just go be with your mom. now a bowhunter waiting 3 weeks at the start of the season and still offering support and understanding - and not 1 complaining - that's what kind of people bow hunters are and i'm proud to be associated as 1.

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So sorry to hear your loss. Remember all the good times and they will help you get through the bad.