Visiting the south...... im worried.
02-27-2002, 11:06 PM
#72
Nontypical Buck
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Fairbanks, Alaska
Posts: 1,665
RE: Visiting the south...... im worried.
When are you supposed to return? If we don't hear back from you 12 hours after your scheduled return, we'll call up the search parties.
Make sure you know what them burgers are cooked out of! <img src=icon_smile_shock.gif border=0 align=middle>
Make sure you know what them burgers are cooked out of! <img src=icon_smile_shock.gif border=0 align=middle>
03-01-2002, 11:31 AM
#74
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Petal Ms. USA
Posts: 187
RE: Visiting the south...... im worried.
yall stop funnin the boy , the way he asked fer help saya it all,boy dont ya start getten all worked up now,we aint all thay bad, only thing is if some feller call ya a pilgrem say yes sir n yall be ok, keep wavein and smillin, oh yea do bring camo and a ball cap, dont bring no yankee sunglasses they dont work here. always look to the stars n bars with pride in yo eyes, and most importiant.......yall have fun hoghunter51
03-01-2002, 11:47 AM
#75
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Minneola, Central Florida, USA
Posts: 246
RE: Visiting the south...... im worried.
Couple of more pointers from a boy who spent every summer in the deep south and every winter in a yankee city. (Talk about schitzophrenia! Oy vey! [Whoops, meant 'damn straight!'])
1) Address every female over the age of puberty as "Ma'am". Two syllables.
2) If you should see someone whose car has broken down you MUST stick your head under the hood. Even if the rear wheel has fallen off, you look more masculine looking under the hood.
3) You must make smalltalk with everyone you encounter, even the lady bringing you your grits and biscuit. Especially the lady bringing you your grits and biscuit. The weather is always your safest topic. Complaining is not permitted. Guessing is encouraged. (Ex: "Wonder if it could get hotter?" is OK, but "This weather stinks!" is not OK)
4) Dont be afraid to make eye contact. Up north, looking someone in the eyes is a confrontation. Down South not looking someone in the eyes is being shifty.
5) Boots are aceptable footwear everywhere. Fancy for dressup, muddy for chores, always in 100% leather.
6) Be proud, speak up, and don't be too self conscious to laugh. That is the hardest thing to learn about the South. They will laugh at you, but at themselves twice as much. (WHo do you think buys all that "You might be a redneck if..." humour?)
Chubber
1) Address every female over the age of puberty as "Ma'am". Two syllables.
2) If you should see someone whose car has broken down you MUST stick your head under the hood. Even if the rear wheel has fallen off, you look more masculine looking under the hood.
3) You must make smalltalk with everyone you encounter, even the lady bringing you your grits and biscuit. Especially the lady bringing you your grits and biscuit. The weather is always your safest topic. Complaining is not permitted. Guessing is encouraged. (Ex: "Wonder if it could get hotter?" is OK, but "This weather stinks!" is not OK)
4) Dont be afraid to make eye contact. Up north, looking someone in the eyes is a confrontation. Down South not looking someone in the eyes is being shifty.
5) Boots are aceptable footwear everywhere. Fancy for dressup, muddy for chores, always in 100% leather.
6) Be proud, speak up, and don't be too self conscious to laugh. That is the hardest thing to learn about the South. They will laugh at you, but at themselves twice as much. (WHo do you think buys all that "You might be a redneck if..." humour?)
Chubber
03-07-2002, 07:38 PM
#76
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: monroe nc
Posts: 3
RE: Visiting the south...... im worried.
Hey bud, come on down. We just love meetin and greetin folks who make fun of us. Don't listen to those other people who say not to try and talk like us. Go ahead. Don't pay attention to anyone who looks at you kind of funny. Just keep on talkin.
With that said....don't take a knife to a gun fight!
With that said....don't take a knife to a gun fight!
03-07-2002, 07:39 PM
#77
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: monroe nc
Posts: 3
RE: Visiting the south...... im worried.
Hey bud, come on down. We just love meetin and greetin folks who make fun of us. Don't listen to those other people who say not to try and talk like us. Go ahead. Don't pay attention to anyone who looks at you kind of funny. Just keep on talkin.
With that said....don't take a knife to a gun fight!
With that said....don't take a knife to a gun fight!
03-08-2002, 11:25 AM
#78
Fork Horn
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: port orchard WA
Posts: 416
RE: Visiting the south...... im worried.
i must thank all of you for giving me such unique advise, but your efforts are fruitless, in 5 days i will have infiltrated the south and have you all under my complete control.
count them, 5 days untill the total i.q. of your area is doubled.
i await your feabile attacks with open arms.
count them, 5 days untill the total i.q. of your area is doubled.
i await your feabile attacks with open arms.