What was this "Dad" thinking?
03-02-2004, 11:06 AM
#181
Giant Nontypical
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Land of Oz
Posts: 9,626
RE: What was this "Dad" thinking?
So far I've outlined the potential for physical harm. There is other harm that comes from beating a child.
http://www.masskids.org/pcama/parenting_4schoolage.html
Dismiss it if you wish, but you cannot tell me this makes no sense whatsoever:
It鈥檚 important to understand the many needs felt by children on the long road to adulthood:
路 The need to preserve life and health.
路 The need to assert themselves.
路 The need to feel safe.
路 The need for independence.
路 The need to feel pride in accomplishment.
路 The need to be loved.
The use of physical force as punishment crashes destructively onto all of these needs, greatly upsetting the child鈥檚 world. It confirms his own weakness, the fears for his safety, and the unreality of his yearning for independence. He is torn by the love-hate actions of the adult, who is supposed to be his protector. The result can be confusion, instability, loss of self-confidence, distrust and fear of adults and authority. Perhaps worst of all is the lesson learned that 鈥渕ight makes right,鈥 that physical force is an acceptable means of teaching children and settling disagreements. Later the child is more likely to harshly discipline or physically or verbally abuse his own children, perpetuating the cycle of violence.
If no hitting or yelling, then what do we as parents do? We can try to keep calm and control our emotions. We can look to understand the reason for the bad behavior and explain why the behavior is unacceptable. We can discuss changes in behavior and, if justified, discipline appropriately without using physical force. We can try to make our child an understanding participant in the process of improving her behavior.
What is child abuse?
Child abuse is any behavior that endangers the development, security or survival of a child. It is the betrayal of an adult's position of trust and authority over a child. Child abuse occurs when an adult mistreats or neglects a child resulting in:
路 injury, or
路 significant emotional or psychological harm, or
路 serious risk of harm to a child.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Stealthycat, please not that significant emotional or psychological harm does not leave a mark.
Stickemup, you fail to take into account that not all parents are prudent. You are not thinking globally, you are thinking simplistically. Of course, it isn't that hard...for some people.
http://www.masskids.org/pcama/parenting_4schoolage.html
Dismiss it if you wish, but you cannot tell me this makes no sense whatsoever:
It鈥檚 important to understand the many needs felt by children on the long road to adulthood:
路 The need to preserve life and health.
路 The need to assert themselves.
路 The need to feel safe.
路 The need for independence.
路 The need to feel pride in accomplishment.
路 The need to be loved.
The use of physical force as punishment crashes destructively onto all of these needs, greatly upsetting the child鈥檚 world. It confirms his own weakness, the fears for his safety, and the unreality of his yearning for independence. He is torn by the love-hate actions of the adult, who is supposed to be his protector. The result can be confusion, instability, loss of self-confidence, distrust and fear of adults and authority. Perhaps worst of all is the lesson learned that 鈥渕ight makes right,鈥 that physical force is an acceptable means of teaching children and settling disagreements. Later the child is more likely to harshly discipline or physically or verbally abuse his own children, perpetuating the cycle of violence.
If no hitting or yelling, then what do we as parents do? We can try to keep calm and control our emotions. We can look to understand the reason for the bad behavior and explain why the behavior is unacceptable. We can discuss changes in behavior and, if justified, discipline appropriately without using physical force. We can try to make our child an understanding participant in the process of improving her behavior.
What is child abuse?
Child abuse is any behavior that endangers the development, security or survival of a child. It is the betrayal of an adult's position of trust and authority over a child. Child abuse occurs when an adult mistreats or neglects a child resulting in:
路 injury, or
路 significant emotional or psychological harm, or
路 serious risk of harm to a child.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Stealthycat, please not that significant emotional or psychological harm does not leave a mark.
Stickemup, you fail to take into account that not all parents are prudent. You are not thinking globally, you are thinking simplistically. Of course, it isn't that hard...for some people.
03-02-2004, 11:07 AM
#182
Giant Nontypical
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Land of Oz
Posts: 9,626
RE: What was this "Dad" thinking?
No, there is no interpretation and shouldn't be in spanking a child.
03-02-2004, 11:18 AM
#183
Giant Nontypical
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Land of Oz
Posts: 9,626
RE: What was this "Dad" thinking?
Drugging your child to keep them in line and control them has NO place.
03-02-2004, 11:20 AM
#184
Nontypical Buck
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Rainy Day Texas/USA
Posts: 1,145
RE: What was this "Dad" thinking?
vc, are you really trying to say that spanking does more harm that good? From what you posted above it seems that you are 100% against it.
reylamb went in great detail in how he disciplines his daughter which ends with a spanking...which you do not agree with.
BUT
you replied to his post with
reylamb, the more you post, the more I respect you and your father. I wish that all parents could be as intelligent.
This leads me to believe that you accept his approach and agree with it. Which one is it?
reylamb went in great detail in how he disciplines his daughter which ends with a spanking...which you do not agree with.
BUT
you replied to his post with
reylamb, the more you post, the more I respect you and your father. I wish that all parents could be as intelligent.
This leads me to believe that you accept his approach and agree with it. Which one is it?
03-02-2004, 11:39 AM
#185
Nontypical Buck
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: ......
Posts: 3,643
RE: What was this "Dad" thinking?
VC - Thats he beauty isn't it VC ? You don't know if my kids are ADD/ADHD diagnosed, if I was diagnosed, if I was drugged as a kid or maybe my neighbors kids and I witnessed first hand the results ?
You're a lot like Messageman on this thread, you know that don't you ? You see someone post and reply how simplistic their thinking is (indicating how superior yours is), that points went over their heads etc etc. You try to wave away everything and continue with this non-sense about swapping spanking with beating and spanking with striking and spanking with abuse.
No one is buying it, and those who are not IMO probably have pretty good kids because they KNOW the value of a good spanking every now and then regardless of how much it hurts the parent and the child.
so how does a child learn not to pick up bumblbees VC1111 ?
I'll answer it for you - they learn by pain. They do NOT learn by being told, by watching others get stung ... they learn by getting stung themselves.
Spanking does what talking to doesn't, what reasoning with doesn't, what a time out doesn't, what taking away privaleges doesn't - its gives a painful reminder NOT to behave a certain way.
I encourage everyone to spank their children, its neccessary and its an integral part of parenting.
You're a lot like Messageman on this thread, you know that don't you ? You see someone post and reply how simplistic their thinking is (indicating how superior yours is), that points went over their heads etc etc. You try to wave away everything and continue with this non-sense about swapping spanking with beating and spanking with striking and spanking with abuse.
No one is buying it, and those who are not IMO probably have pretty good kids because they KNOW the value of a good spanking every now and then regardless of how much it hurts the parent and the child.
so how does a child learn not to pick up bumblbees VC1111 ?
I'll answer it for you - they learn by pain. They do NOT learn by being told, by watching others get stung ... they learn by getting stung themselves.
Spanking does what talking to doesn't, what reasoning with doesn't, what a time out doesn't, what taking away privaleges doesn't - its gives a painful reminder NOT to behave a certain way.
I encourage everyone to spank their children, its neccessary and its an integral part of parenting.
03-02-2004, 11:41 AM
#186
Nontypical Buck
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Alexandria, Minnesota, USA
Posts: 1,079
RE: What was this "Dad" thinking?
My opinion, I do not believe in spanking.
I do believe in pinching on the back of my young boys neck. You have to put them in there place physically somehow. Sometimes I will wrestle his head to the ground in a playful way. You have to show them who is boss. I think spanking became easy because it caused a severe pain quickly. When I pinch there are times when it is a slight one or others that increase in pain determining on how badly he is testing me. I hate it when he tests me. It shows how smart these young individuals are.
I do believe in pinching on the back of my young boys neck. You have to put them in there place physically somehow. Sometimes I will wrestle his head to the ground in a playful way. You have to show them who is boss. I think spanking became easy because it caused a severe pain quickly. When I pinch there are times when it is a slight one or others that increase in pain determining on how badly he is testing me. I hate it when he tests me. It shows how smart these young individuals are.
03-02-2004, 11:55 AM
#188
Nontypical Buck
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Alexandria, Minnesota, USA
Posts: 1,079
RE: What was this "Dad" thinking?
Johnny so you prefer nothing?
What were you doing to make her do this?
Or was it an internal problem within your mother to where she was discipling when you were doing nothing wrong?
What were you doing to make her do this?
Or was it an internal problem within your mother to where she was discipling when you were doing nothing wrong?
03-02-2004, 12:28 PM
#190
Nontypical Buck
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Alexandria, Minnesota, USA
Posts: 1,079
RE: What was this "Dad" thinking?
Lets add to VC's list
The need to listen, respect and follow through.......
Isn't it amazing that all these drugged kids end up goiing to the military because they crave discipline. I do not have facts on this but it has been read before in past articles.
And by the way my son when at peace in the house comes to me and says he loves me and whhen I approach him and tell him that I love him he replies back that he loves me too.
The need to listen, respect and follow through.......
Isn't it amazing that all these drugged kids end up goiing to the military because they crave discipline. I do not have facts on this but it has been read before in past articles.
And by the way my son when at peace in the house comes to me and says he loves me and whhen I approach him and tell him that I love him he replies back that he loves me too.
