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words of wisdom, sort of

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words of wisdom, sort of

Old 08-05-2015, 04:24 AM
  #1  
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Default words of wisdom, sort of

ARAPROSDOKIANS are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence is unexpected.


Winston Churchill loved them. Some examples:

1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

2. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.


3. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.


4. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.


5 Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

6. They begin the evening news with 'Good Evening,' then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

7. To steal ideas from someone is plagiarism. To steal from many is called research.

8. In filling in an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'

9. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.


10. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they look sexy.


11. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.


12. A clear conscience is the sign of a bad memory.


13. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.


14. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be. Nor is there any future in it.


15. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.


16. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car.


17. Finally: I'm supposed to respect my elders, but itís getting harder and harder for me to find one now.


And my personal favorite:


I am not arguing with you, I am explaining why you are wrong.

Last edited by Oldtimr; 08-05-2015 at 04:57 AM.
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Old 08-05-2015, 04:31 AM
  #2  
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Those are very good!




We needed a good laugh
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Old 08-05-2015, 05:00 AM
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The glass is neither full, nor half empty. It is both.
Sometimes, when asked a question and I want to mess w/that person, I will nod my head yes, but say no. Or, shake my head no, and say yes. The responses can get interesting.
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Old 08-05-2015, 07:42 AM
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Originally Posted by Game Stalker View Post
The glass is neither full, nor half empty. It is both.
Sometimes, when asked a question and I want to mess w/that person, I will nod my head yes, but say no. Or, shake my head no, and say yes. The responses can get interesting.
A glass half full, or a glass half empty, just call your waitress, because it doesn't matter because they are all refillable.
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Old 08-05-2015, 02:29 PM
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Those are great. Reminds me of Yogi Berra's "thoughts".
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Old 08-05-2015, 02:51 PM
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Yep Yogi had some classics.
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Old 08-07-2015, 04:41 AM
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Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
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Old 08-14-2015, 08:00 AM
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I getting old in my young age.
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