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In a bit of a jam....

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In a bit of a jam....

Old 07-31-2011, 07:06 PM
  #1  
Nontypical Buck
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Default In a bit of a jam....

Before I leave this sum beaching site, I'm looking for some reasonable and well thought out advice. Let me explain my situation the best I can and you all can tell me what to do.

You see about 3 months ago I got hammered drunk at this little watering hole here in Fort Worth. I mean I got Keith Whitely smashed. I'm listening to some sad country songs and I look over across the bar and I see a beautiful lady. I take a second look and I see not one, but two beautiful ladies that look the same and they are eye screwing me big time. So, I make my way over there and introduce myself. I take a closer look and low and behold these two ladies are twins and conjoined twins at that. This is where this **** gets interesting, so please try and keep up.

These ladies, Kate and Amy, are looking for some action and they are looking for it bad. I pound about three more Rumpleminz's and I tell myself, "Self, let's do this thang." I ****** these girls out of the bar and back to their SUV. That had to be a site in itself. Bare in mind that if these girls were not attached at the waist the would easily be 8's a piece. So we get back to my place and I just take over and do this. Now lets fast forward to yesterday.

I get a call from Kate saying she is knocked up. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot...what? Here is my predicament....I really don't know which one would even be pregnant. I mean they share the same who who. I have no problem manning up and being a dad, but who in the hell is the mom. They share the same parts for crying out loud. Do I just wait and see who's belly swells up first or do I just take on and support both of the girls?

What would you all do?
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Old 07-31-2011, 07:16 PM
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Do you even know which one is Amy and which is kate?

I think you are screwed. If you man up and stick by her /them you will always have a third wheel on dates. Plus 2 mouths to feed at dinner. But on the bright side evrynights a threesome...

My question is how did you work around the extra set of legs?
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Old 07-31-2011, 07:31 PM
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Originally Posted by dprsdhunter View Post
Do you even know which one is Amy and which is kate?

I think you are screwed. If you man up and stick by her /them you will always have a third wheel on dates. Plus 2 mouths to feed at dinner. But on the bright side evrynights a threesome...

My question is how did you work around the extra set of legs?
Brother, I really don't have a clue which is which. I can tell you it was a pain in the ass trying to get them out of my bed the next morning.

To answer your question....they only had two legs and the same nether regions. It was pretty cool if you ask me.
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Old 07-31-2011, 07:42 PM
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Originally Posted by 2 Lunger View Post
Brother, I really don't have a clue which is which. I can tell you it was a pain in the ass trying to get them out of my bed the next morning.

To answer your question....they only had two legs and the same nether regions. It was pretty cool if you ask me.
Bet you feel like a butt haveing to ask which is which.

So really i guess you dont know which one you did....or if you did both of them?


Sounds pretty cool to me. Knowing you I am sure you have a video.
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Old 07-31-2011, 07:59 PM
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Originally Posted by dprsdhunter View Post
Bet you feel like a butt haveing to ask which is which.

So really i guess you dont know which one you did....or if you did both of them?


Sounds pretty cool to me. Knowing you I am sure you have a video.
Hell, I'm pretty sure I did both of them hence the jam that I'm in. Video on the IPhone....you know me all to well. I would post it, but I'm sure that would get this thread axed and I can't afford that as I need all the advice I can get.
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Old 07-31-2011, 08:05 PM
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I take it they know how to track you down. You shouldnt have taken them to your place and not used your real name.
Should have told them your name was Spencer.
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Old 07-31-2011, 09:02 PM
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Originally Posted by dprsdhunter View Post
I take it they know how to track you down. You shouldnt have taken them to your place and not used your real name.
Should have told them your name was Spencer.
Your right...I broke rule #113 in the man code. I will quote it," Never take a random chick to your place as it leaves a trail back to your little swimmers.".

Then I broke rule # 9 and I will also quote, " Never tell a sqaw your real name. If possible always use a buddy's that has a serious girlfriend because it could always come back to be a good time."
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Old 08-01-2011, 03:56 AM
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The next question is What are you going to do when a Two Headed 2 Lunger pops out?

Or a set of twin Two Headed 2 Lungers pop out? lol

Boy are you in a Big Pickle.
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Old 08-01-2011, 04:13 AM
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Dammit jrbsr, he's looking for help, not a comedian. Try to be sensitive to the mans needs.

2L, you are indeed in a pickle. I see no other way out than the old reliable method I always use when I get into a mess such as this.....

Heads or Tails?
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Old 08-01-2011, 04:49 AM
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Originally Posted by mr4pt View Post
Dammit jrbsr, he's looking for help, not a comedian. Try to be sensitive to the mans needs.

2L, you are indeed in a pickle. I see no other way out than the old reliable method I always use when I get into a mess such as this.....

Heads or Tails?
Fellas, I appreciate all the help. I really do. I'm a little down about this today. Trying to figure out how I'm going to explain this to my boys and ex-wife.
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