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oops.....i crapt my pants!

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oops.....i crapt my pants!

Old 11-13-2006, 01:22 PM
  #21  
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Default RE: oops.....i crapt my pants!

ORIGINAL: younggun243

Oh, that's when he was "babySITTING"!
Was that good, or was it vulgar?
That gets two thumbs down and a sausage to the side of your head.
Vulgar? I say no, but you tell me. You're the hall monitor.
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Old 11-13-2006, 01:31 PM
  #22  
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ORIGINAL: nohillbilly

ORIGINAL: younggun243

Oh, that's when he was "babySITTING"!
Was that good, or was it vulgar?
........and a sausage to the side of your head.
Goodie,goodie,goodie,can I keep it?
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Old 11-13-2006, 04:41 PM
  #23  
 
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Default RE: oops.....i crapt my pants!


ORIGINAL: etothepii

Froman has a story about exploding in his pants in a buffet rest room, and NYBowHunter has one where he drops his drawers on the way to his stand, then later that day goes to use his grunt call only to get a "funny" taste in return...[:'(]
Haha I want here those.
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Old 11-13-2006, 05:39 PM
  #24  
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The grossest hunting story-

The morning starts out like any other. I am one for routines. I wake up at 4:00am and roll out of bed and take a scent free shower. I get out of the shower and the dog is going bonkers so I let her out. While she’s out I make a pot of coffee. By the time the coffee is done the dog is ready to come in. I let the dog in, pour a cup of coffee, and sit down at the computer and check out huntingnet before I leave to go hunting for the morning. It’s the same thing EVERY morning.

The morning routine also consists of bodily functions. Just like clockwork after the 2nd cup of coffee I’m heading to the can for my morning crap J. After that I’m good to go. That’s my green light to head to the hunting lodge.

However, the other morning there was a kink in my ritual. Everything went like it usually does except the morning crap part. I was freaking out. NOTHING. I mean not even an inkling of needing to go. I was a little bothered by not needing to crap. All I can picture is getting into my stand and having to go. I delay my departure for 10 minutes hoping for some last minute magic. Nothing doing. I can’t wait anymore or I’ll be late to my stand.

Away I go and my routine carries on. I travel the same route to the hunting lodge. Same radio station. Stop at the same fields to take a glance etc…. All the while in the back of my mind I am deeply disturbed and now officially out of whack for the morning.

I get to the lodge and meet up with my hunting buddies. I try to ignore the fact that I haven’t been to the can yet. I get all my gear on and ready to go to the woods. I thought it wise to get a handful of toilet paper and put it in my pack. Again I’m prolonging my departure to walk to my stand hoping for some last minute movement. Nothing doing. Now I’m actually starting to put it out of my head and figuring everything is ok. I simply just didn’t need to crap this morning for whatever reason.

So I’m off to the woods. I have quite a little walk to get to my stand. I get halfway across the winter wheat field I have to walk across and I feel a strange little “gurgle”. Oh NO I think to myself. I stop dead in my tracks like a deer caught in headlights trying to figure it out. It rumbles again and I get a bad feeling. I gaze back at the walk back to the hunting lodge and try to decide if I should make a dash for it. It’s getting closer to light than I want it to and I don’t want to be late to my stand so I try to psych myself out and ignore it. I walk about 10 more steps and it’s like a volcano getting ready to erupt. I know at this point I’m doomed.

It’s no longer a gurgle or rumble, it’s coming full force now and there is no escaping. I frantically look back at the way I came and then ahead to the edge of the woods as I’m still standing in the middle of an open field. OH man I’m in trouble. There’s no ignoring it anymore.

I start making a mad dash to the edge of the woods. It was a cold morning and I have a lot of gear to shed. My hand warmer (muff) goes flying off. I drop my bow to the ground. I undo my release and wing that. My armguard goes flying. I unbuckle my fanny pack and chuck that someplace. I shed my coat. I’m just about falling over trying to unbuckle my bibs and pull them down. I’m in a marathon dash for my life to get to the woods. I feel like Finch in the movie American Pie when Stifler put Ex-Lax in his drink and he had to go to the bathroom in school. I now have a 50 yard trail of gear through a winter wheat field. I finally get to the edge of the woods and barely get my pants down (I mean BARELY).

WHEW!!! Out it comes. I finally took my morning crap. It’s about 25 degrees out and the wind is blowing pretty hard. I’m half naked and freezing my butt off. One minor problem…. I threw my pack someplace in my scramble and it’s still dark out. The pack that had the toilet paper that is. So I crawl around with my pants down to my ankles trying to find it. Finally find it and do what I have to do. Now I need to pick up the rest of my junk. That takes me quite awhile and it’s now getting light out.

Well I don’t quite know what to make of this morning of mine. I say to myself that’s done and over with and get a little chuckle out of it. I get all my stuff back in order and ready to hunt.

Off to my stand I go. I finally make it to the tree and get all situated. I’m sitting for about 10 minutes after first light and through the woods about 100 yards away I see a buck!! Not too bad of a buck either. He looks like he is veering away from me though. So scramble for my grunt call. I grab it out of the front pocket of my bibs and blow into it. The buck stops!! Wait a minute though what the heck was that?

Well…………….. I unfortunately got a taste of my morning crap. Somehow my grunt call got tangled up in my bibs in such a fashion that I crapped all over it. The thing was smeared in crap!!! I put my clothes back on and never noticed that I crapped all over part of my bibs. I guess in the haste I didn’t quite get them out of the way. I just about threw up. I was gagging for about 20 minutes. The buck must have decided he didn’t like my dry heaving motion and noise. I decided I’d had enough of that morning and headed back to practice some much needed oral hygiene. I don’t want to get into too much detail, but let’s just say there was “ample” amount of crap on my grunt call. Something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. That was truly disgusting.

I got back to hunting camp and felt obligated to tell the crew about the happenings. I’ve never seen grown men laugh so hard in all my life.

What a crappy experience.


** I still have the same grunt tube. The taste has almost wore off!!
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Old 11-13-2006, 05:49 PM
  #25  
bigcountry
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ORIGINAL: Alpha Capo

anybody ever do this on accident...besides buck huntin girl....
i have a budy that was bragging about this the other day...what an idiot.
Man, what is wrong with you? You really get laughs out of stupid crap like this? You really need to grow up.
 
Old 11-16-2006, 11:03 AM
  #26  
Nontypical Buck
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ORIGINAL: davidmil

So are you going to change your name to Alpha Crappo
LMAO....i see i gotta new nickname..good stuff guys...
oh and Big Country lighten up man....its just a message board.
might as well goof off here...cuz that all stops when you punch the clock, come home to a mailbox full of bills, and a lady/2 kids that need you to be their rock everyday of the week...the last thing i need is someone that doesn't know me telling me to grow up...no offence.
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Old 11-16-2006, 11:27 AM
  #27  
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Default RE: oops.....i crapt my pants!

ORIGINAL: Alpha Capo

the last thing i need is someone that doesn't know me telling me to grow up.
GROW UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Alpha Crapo!
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Old 11-16-2006, 06:25 PM
  #28  
 
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Two nights ago asleep in bed woke up to a shart, today at work had a close call and then a full one on the way home. Picked up a bug a few days ago, oh, also puked on my steering wheel today at work too.Gettin old sucks..
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Old 12-10-2006, 04:01 PM
  #29  
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thats what happens when you drink the water in ol' Mexico
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Old 12-11-2006, 01:01 AM
  #30  
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Default RE: oops.....i crapt my pants!

ORIGINAL: Alpha Capo

anybody ever do this on accident...besides buck huntin girl....
i have a budy that was bragging about this the other day...what an idiot.
But it certainly not only got your intrest but held it long enough for you to post.

Seems pretty pathetic.
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