kevin1

I had one morning where I thought I might crap mine , but the cause was easily identified , I had the AB Squirts form drinking Budweiser the night before . I had gone to a buddy's property to hunt when I felt it coming on , lovely ... The meadow where I was going is very doe rich , so I didn't want to "compromise" it , but nature had other ideas . I hadn't started up my chosen tree yet , so I decided to get it over with and use a different tree . I got about 10 feet up the alternate tree when ... ohhhhh nooooo ... Back down the tree and sit on a log again . Ok , finally done , find yet another tree 'cause the sun will be rising shortly . I'm also fresh out of tp too . Climbed yet another tree , got 15' up when the bottom of the climber slips , guess who forgot to attach a stop line ? The bottom section is now hanging from my boots , and I'm hanging from my shoulder harness trying desparately not to drop the bottom section and pull it back up , kind of a tough spot for an out of shape middle aged fat boy . Guess what ? Yep , the back pressure is building again , and this one doesn't feel promising . My eyes are bugging , I can't breathe well , and if I don't get the bottom back up I'll either have to shinny down the tree or take the drop . I finally manage to get it back up and locked long enough to take a few breaths and then climb gingerly down the trunk . As soon as my feet hit the ground I ran a few yards and got my britches down just in the nick of time to avoid sharting myself , and it was only then that I remembered my tp situation . Thank goodness Wally World sells those cheap face masks ...

Buck Huntin Girl

Dammit Alpha Crappo!!!! You were suppose to keep that a SECRET!!! How am I going to explain to my husband that I wasn't with you when this happened? Man, I'm doomed now... we're gonna get caught and Oh dear... my life is over.

Btw, it's a good thing he is experienced, I was so humiliated, he said, "Wear it proud, I do it every day!" It made me feel so much more at ease. He even offered to let me borrow his stash of Depends, just so I wouldn't have to sit in it all day, what a sweetheart.

younggun308

LOL!!! (If I had incredimail, I would've put Rebel Hog's laughing smiley on here!)

younggun308

EEEK!!! I'm not going to touch this one, I tried once, and nohillbilly thought I was high on pot or something.

nohillbilly

Go ahead and try again yg243. Just make sure that it makes sence, is kindafunny,and don't mention "serial rapist".

younggun308

Oh, that's when he was "babySITTING"!










Was that good, or was it vulgar?

Buck Huntin Girl

[email protected] Nohillbilly...

Younggun, say what you wish, just please add something in there to comfort Alpha Crappo, he's really starting to feel insecure about going out in public now... They don't really make Depends big enough to fit around him... the elastic is starting to cut into his thigh's, I really feel badly for him. I know he has hesitated in asking, but he *really* was hoping the nice folks here atHNI would offer to send any extra undies they have lying around, buying a new package every day is really starting to cut into his budget. If anyone has any extra brown Carhartt jeans, that would really help him out too, at least the brown stains would go unnoticed then, it would save him some of the embarassment anyway.

younggun308

Hey, I'll lend him my dad's old toughskin pants!(For you absolute morons out there (in the benevolent way(if there is such a thing!,)), that was a style of pantsin the 70's)

No offense.

rockytop

Back in the old days when the climbing tree stands were one piece and you had to hug the tree to climb and come down, well my buddy took a crap out of one them from 20 feet up in the air and it run all down the tree. He then had to bear hug all the tree andcrap to come down out of the tree. He surely stunk up the camp that night.

younggun308

Than your brother must be from Polk County!