HuntingNet.com Forums - Funny deer story I had forwarded to me!!

Actual letter from someone who farms, He writes well and tried this:
I had this idea that I could rope a deer, put it in a
stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill
it and eat it. The first step in this adventure was getting
a deer. I figured that, since they congregate at my cattle
feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are
there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at
the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4
feet away), it should not be difficult to rope one, get up
to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then
hog tie it and transport it home.
I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope.
The cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well
back. They were not having any of it. After about 20
minutes, my deer showed up-- 3 of them. I picked out a
likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder,
and threw my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at
me. I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end
so I would have a good hold.

The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was
mildly concerned about the whole rope situation. I took a
step towards it, it took a step away. I put a little tension
on the rope .., and then received an education. The first
thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just stand
there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are
spurred to action when you start pulling on that rope.

That deer EXPLODED. The second thing I learned is that pound for
pound, a deer is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow
or a colt in that weight range I could fight down with a
rope and with some dignity. A deer-- no chance.

That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no
controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it
jerked me off my feet and started dragging me across the
ground, it occurred to me that having a deer on a rope was
not nearly as good an idea as I had originally imagined. The
only upside is that they do not have as much stamina as many
other animals.

A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk
me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up.
It took me a few minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded
by the blood flowing out of the big gash in my head. At that
point, I had lost my taste for corn-fed venison. I just
wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope.
I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck,
it would likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the
time, there was no love at all between me and that deer. At
that moment, I hated the thing, and I would venture a guess
that the feeling was mutual.
Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had
cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head
against various large rocks as it dragged me across the
ground, I could still think clearly enough to recognize that
there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount
of responsibility for the situation we were in. I didn't
want the deer to have to suffer a slow death, so I managed
to get it lined back up in between my truck and the feeder -
a little trap I had set before hand...kind of like a squeeze
chute. I got it to back in there and I started moving up so
I could get my rope back.
Did you know that deer bite?
They do! I never in a million years would have thought that a deer
would bite somebody, so I was very surprised when ... I
reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold
of my wrist. Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like
being bit by a horse where they just bite you and then let
go. A deer bites you and shakes its head--almost like a pit
bull.. They bite HARD and it hurts.
The proper thing to do when a deer
bites you is probably to freeze and
draw back slowly.
I tried screaming and shaking instead.
My method was ineffective.
It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes,
but it was likely only several seconds. I, being smarter
than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim by
now), tricked it. While I kept it busy tearing the tendons
out of my right arm, I reached up with my left hand and
pulled that rope loose.

That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for
the day.
Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on
their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder
level, and their hooves are surprisingly sharp. I learned a
long time ago that, when an animal --like a horse --strikes
at you with their hooves and you can't get away easily,
the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an
aggressive move towards the animal. This will usually cause
them to back down a bit so you can escape.
This was not a horse.. This was a deer, so obviously, such trickery
would not work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a
different strategy. I screamed like a woman and tried to
turn and run. The reason I had always been told NOT to try
to turn and run from a horse that paws at you is that there
is a good chance that it will hit you in the back of the
head. Deer may not be so different from horses after all,
besides being twice as strong and 3 times as evil, because
the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of
the head and knocked me down.
Now,
when
a deer
paws at you
and knocks
you down,
it does not
immediately leave.
I suspect it does not recognize that the
danger has passed. What they do instead is paw your back and
jump up and down on you while you are laying there crying
like a little girl and covering your head.
I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away. So
now I know why when people go deer hunting they bring a
rifle with a scope to sort of even the odds...
All these events are true so help me God...
An Educated, Bruised and
Bleeding Rancher.......................