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-   -   Monster Sheds and Angry Beavers (https://www.huntingnet.com/forum/bowhunting/284191-monster-sheds-angry-beavers.html)

quiksilver 01-25-2009 03:30 PM

Monster Sheds and Angry Beavers
 
So today was yet another installment of winter scouting. Same old, same old. Slogging my ass through miles of mountains, hoping to find that one single nugget that translates into another buck down. Separating the wheat from the chaff, if you will. . .

Things started outinnocuously. Standard stuff - gridding out a yarding area, tacking in a stand site, hanging a trail camera. There wasn't supposed to be any snow . . . but there was. It was supposed to be warmer this weekend. It wasn't. I dealt with it. Mother nature doesn't care about me and my shed hunting. It was patently obvious.

Snow can be a curse as much as itcan be a blessing. The woods read like an open book, but the sheds are buried and any crowns poking out are usually lost in the ground clutter, and passed-over. Whatev.

My powerade was frozen. That sucked.

Things took a turn for the better when I found a ground mole in the snow, frozen solid. It was random. I picked him up and dusted the snow off, and gave him a glamour shot as a tribute to his dying legacy. He will forever be immortalized in the photograph below.


PY-caliber Ground Mole


A few hundred yards later, my luck took a turn for the better when I stumbled upon a monster 2-pointer shed. Great mass, great tine length. Probably a world record.


Definite Booner.





Am I the last guy that is still too broke to buy a GPS?


This is where things get hairy.

It's getting late, and I need to be getting home... So I cross another ridge and slide down a creek bottom, angling toward the car. The woods were thick and I was just plain sick of getting stabbed with briars, so I opted to take the easy route, and walk an old stream bed out.

The creek was frozen solid, so I was able to make time on the ice. Snaking back and forth, I rounded a bend and there he was... A mighty beaver.


Happy Beaver

Now I'm not one to just find a friendly beaver and leave it alone. This beaver needed glamour shots.

So, I kept taking his temperature, and he seemed to not care so much about me and my damn glamour shots. He was busy walking in circles in the ice.

After a few minutes of cat and mouse, and several failed photo-ops, I had him cornered up under a creek bank. He was maybe 5-7 feet away. I was on the ice with him. Not sure why.

So, as fate would have it, I got the camera ready, and he walked right out toward me.

I snapped the photo below, which will forever live in infamy.


Angry Beaver.

Apparently, that set him off.

In an instant, he turned from docile and cuddly, to an angel of death.He totally snapped, and was hell-bent on soakingme down with 5000 gallons of steaming whipass.

His muscles were bulging and his coat was sleek. This was the Chuck Norris of beavers. He was pissed-off and wasn't gonna take it anymore.

It was fight or flight for the quikkiemeister. As I turned to run away, I fell on my assand flung my camera phone down across the ice. I was helpless and vulnerable, like a turtle on its back. At this point, he held a decided advantage...My life was flashing before my eyes. The coronerwas warming up the minivan... Thiswassurelythe end of the line... I saw the white light.


Being the hero that I am, I wasn't going down without a fight.


During the heat of battle,neither one of us could get any damn traction. I was floppinglike a fish out of water, and he was giving it all he had -lusting totearme in halfand drink my blood.Like a Lamborghini in an ice rink -he wasmoving ahundred miles-an-hour, but going absolutelynowhere. I was just hoping to getaway from this monsterwith ten fingers, ten toes. I dreamtof maybe lucking-out andcatchingthat filthy furball inhis mean little puffball facewith a fleeting heel-kick and making a pair of mittens out of him.



We each lived to fight another day. I salute the beaver. A worthy adversary indeed.

I may have strained my groin. I'll know more tomorrow.


EDIT: Definitely strained my groin. No doubt about it.

Ben / PA 01-25-2009 03:41 PM

RE: Monster Sheds and Angry Beavers
 
Nice story Quik. Laughed my ass off. Would have killed to have it all on film. Keep us updated on the trials and adventures.

Huntinman23 01-25-2009 03:42 PM

RE: Monster Sheds and Angry Beavers
 
lol, sound like you had an experience in the woods today, you should have dropped that mother... lol but all in all at least you found a shed and a ground mole...

and by the way you dont need to down another buck next year give some of us other teams a chance to win the contest

Rory/MO 01-25-2009 03:52 PM

RE: Monster Sheds and Angry Beavers
 
How can you be the king if you get scared by a beaver :eek:.

Cougar Mag 01-25-2009 03:53 PM

RE: Monster Sheds and Angry Beavers
 
Shame on you for not getting pics of him charging you!:D Sometime you need to get between a groundhog and his hole, exciting stuff as well, luckily I had a sharp garden hoe with me at the time.

rybohunter 01-25-2009 04:17 PM

RE: Monster Sheds and Angry Beavers
 
Pure entertainment. :D:D

WV Hunter 01-25-2009 04:26 PM

RE: Monster Sheds and Angry Beavers
 
The only thing better than reading that was if I could have been there to see it in person! [8D]LOL

whitetailbowhunter 01-25-2009 04:31 PM

RE: Monster Sheds and Angry Beavers
 
LMAO!! that's a hilarious story!! lol Good thing you were able to keep all you fingers and toes!!

SouthDakotaHunter 01-25-2009 05:00 PM

RE: Monster Sheds and Angry Beavers
 
Great story Fran! Hilarious!! LOL



AF Hunter 01-25-2009 05:13 PM

RE: Monster Sheds and Angry Beavers
 
Within that story line are a ton of jokes waiting to burst out, but unfortunately, this is a family site so they will remain waiting in the wings for eternity.[:@]

Huntinman23 01-25-2009 05:33 PM

RE: Monster Sheds and Angry Beavers
 

ORIGINAL: AF Hunter

Within that story line are a ton of jokes waiting to burst out, but unfortunately, this is a family site so they will remain waiting in the wings for eternity.[:@]
thought the same thing

IOWABUCKHUNTR 01-25-2009 05:37 PM

RE: Monster Sheds and Angry Beavers
 
That absolutely made my night... Well played sir...

130woodman 01-25-2009 06:02 PM

RE: Monster Sheds and Angry Beavers
 
Great story Fran. As always well told I wish I could have been there.

NY/Al 01-26-2009 10:11 AM

RE: Monster Sheds and Angry Beavers
 
Nice story Fran, someones got to keep it real around here!

sr77 01-26-2009 10:29 AM

RE: Monster Sheds and Angry Beavers
 
Dude, that was a hilarious story. Hahaha. I am sitting here typing, picturing an enraged beaver running at mach 10 but going an inch at a time trying to bite your foot. Sounds like a looney tunes episode.:D

Shane

Siman08/OH 01-26-2009 10:30 AM

RE: Monster Sheds and Angry Beavers
 
This tops all your previous stories as my favorite, now i wish i woulda came [:@]

MN/Kyle 01-26-2009 10:31 AM

RE: Monster Sheds and Angry Beavers
 
...you said "whatev".

All I could think of was: 16 year old girl taking a picture at some weird angle, pouting her lips, and giving the peace sign. Then posting it on Myspace.

Just sayin'.


SparrowHawk 01-26-2009 10:35 AM

RE: Monster Sheds and Angry Beavers
 
Haha, great story man!!! Next time go with the DROP KICK and finish himmmm

Team Virginia 01-26-2009 10:36 AM

RE: Monster Sheds and Angry Beavers
 
quite frankly one of the funniest stories I have ever heard. ( did you happen to break the ice for him, with your fall )

MGH_PA 01-26-2009 11:08 AM

RE: Monster Sheds and Angry Beavers
 
LOL! I'm sitting here in 9th period (kids are working), just dying. I love the picture of him, and then picturing him getting all ticked off once you took the picture.

bowmanaj 01-26-2009 12:26 PM

RE: Monster Sheds and Angry Beavers
 
haha...Nice story and pics. Sounds like an interesting day..Your writing style is a lot like Kurt Vonnegut's,if you know who that is.
Thanks for the entertainment


Matt/TN 01-26-2009 12:40 PM

RE: Monster Sheds and Angry Beavers
 
Too broke for a GPS my ass :eek:[8D]


Good laugh Fran, as always. ;)

rage2blade 01-26-2009 12:49 PM

RE: Monster Sheds and Angry Beavers
 
I wear whity tities

Schultzy 01-26-2009 01:58 PM

RE: Monster Sheds and Angry Beavers
 

It was fight or flight for the quikkiemeister. As I turned to run away, I fell on my ass and flung my camera phone down across the ice. He was growling and coming at me like a madman. Kicking and screaming, sprawling and crawling - trying with everything I had to bust him in his mean little furry face with a fleeting heel-kick.

Lucky for both of us, neither one of us could get any damn traction. He was giving it all he had - and was hell-bent on gnawing my white ass to shreds. His feet were going a hundred miles-an-hour, but he was getting nowhere. I was just hoping to get away with ten fingers, ten toes and a cell phone that was still in one piece.
LMFAO!!!!!!! SOB that was funny!!!:D:D:D

SeraphHHC 01-26-2009 03:01 PM

RE: Monster Sheds and Angry Beavers
 
lol great story

quiksilver 01-26-2009 06:23 PM

RE: Monster Sheds and Angry Beavers
 
Kyle - Whatev. LOL

Ryan, Caleb - you fellas should've come along.

For what it's worth, I had a nightmare last night about the beaver attack. He now haunts me in my dreams. I had to spoona body pillow all night just to feel a sense of security and be able to sleep...



MOmightymite 01-26-2009 07:06 PM

RE: Monster Sheds and Angry Beavers
 
That story is priceless. I laughed my ass off, and now the girlfriend is looking at me like im an idiot.

Rory/MO 01-26-2009 07:12 PM

RE: Monster Sheds and Angry Beavers
 

ORIGINAL: quiksilver

Kyle - Whatev. LOL

Ryan, Caleb - you fellas should've come along.

For what it's worth, I had a nightmare last night about the beaver attack. He now haunts me in my dreams. I had to spoona body pillow all night just to feel a sense of security and be able to sleep...


If you keep all this sissy talk up, I might dethrone the king. Ya Fran, I said it[8D]

TJF 01-26-2009 08:33 PM

RE: Monster Sheds and Angry Beavers
 
Fran

:D Thanks for sharing !! Congrats on the shed !!

Tim

FLboy77 01-27-2009 05:57 AM

RE: Monster Sheds and Angry Beavers
 
Hilarious!!! The funniest thing ive read in a while!! Thank you Fran!!

daveyrock 01-27-2009 06:05 AM

RE: Monster Sheds and Angry Beavers
 
WOW!!! That may have made this day tolerable for me...lol!!!

PreacherTony 01-27-2009 06:51 AM

RE: Monster Sheds and Angry Beavers
 
Fran .... that was absolutely HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:D:D:D:D:D


Edcyclopedia 01-27-2009 09:08 AM

RE: Monster Sheds and Angry Beavers
 
Lions and Tigers and Beavers - OH MY!
You are quite the character, well done...


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