Funny bowhunting stories
 

I hunt with some charactors and we're always having fun in the woods. Let's here some of the funny hunting stories here.
One of my friends was hunting in a stand we call the land lords stand. He got a nice little 8 pointer opening day this season, got a doe from that stand the next evening. My other friend also got a 4 pointer opening evening, the same one I passed up. With A 3 way bet going for biggest buck, it's looking pretty good for me, almost any 8 pointer will win. Anyways, my friend that shot the 4 pointer we went out to recover his deer first, then recovered the gut shot 8 pointer after. actually pin pointed it with my nose and the wind from about 25 yards away. lol
After shooting the 4 pointer that friend , before getting out of his stand, took a leak from his stand and peed on his own gloves he dropped. When he realized that his gloves were all wet, and figured out why, he put them in a plastic bag and left them at the stand. The 3 rd day, we all rotated stands. I went to where the 8 pointer was shot, he went to where the 4 pointer was shot and the other friend went to my stand. In the land lords stand I find A nice grunt call that smells like perfume. I also find some dried up presents left by a racoon that I stepped on and it pretty much crushed like dried dog food. Figured that the grunt call could use some natural cover sent, pulled the stretchy plastic tube off and filled it up with raccoon poo, plugged the end with pine needles so the poo wouldn't fall out, yet wouldn't stop the air flow completely, and put it back where I found it.
Now the rest I've only herd second hand by the other friend but he tells me on the forth day, our 8 point leader goes back to the land lord stand to hunt and find his grunt call. He get's to the stand, finds his grunt call, blows in it and gets a face full of "dust" in his face. Says the call still smelled like the wifes perfume, he had left it in his truck and it got spilled on, but now, when you suck on it for the doe bleat, it has a better taste. He want's to know what I put in it? Thinks it was like sawdust and pine needles.lmao Sounds like he was a little mad but then to top it off, he opened up his back pack and found the gloves in a bag he found at the other stand. He had picked them up and being a nice guy, bringing the wet gloves back, forgot to take them out of his back pack. Fermenting in his backpack for a couple days, he now realized that the gloves weren't simply "wet." Not only were they wet, but the bag had holes in it so everything in his back pack smelled like urine. This actually wouldn't be quite so funny except this guy actually peed on his own gloves the year before and did the same thing. Twice he's thrown his back pack and everything in it away.
He might be just as mad as the year I stole all his yardage markers and replaced them with plastic pink flamingo's or left rotten apples in my stand for cover scent. He climbed in and was stung by 4 bee's that were hanging around my apples. He was really mad that time. He thinks I'm the luckiest idiot in the woods. I do things just to throw him off my game like stand in the middle of a bare floored pine woods with a walkman on and dancing while he's in sight walking to his stand. I can hear him thinking what a nut case, what's he doing? He doesn't know how to hunt. That was actually on my birthday, 2 days befor gun season started. As soon as he was out of sight I set up on a buck that I had been scouting and getting closed to 3 days in a row. I set up a ground umbrella and knew when he got to his stand, that buck would be checking out by the back door. His escape route. Right on time, here comes the buck. I grunted to stop it, it didn't stop. I whistled, it stopped I shot and WACK spined him. Flopping around I grabbed a big stick and tried to knock the buck out long enough to cut it's throat. I've done it a dozen times to doe but this buck was tough and well trained in fencing. lol I hit it so hard I knocked the 1/2 of his rack off! My friend had herd the arrow hit, came walking up after the fight just in time for me to walk back, get my bow and another arrow and shoot stubborn SOB birthday buck again! He said he kept hearing wack wack wack so he had to see what that was all about. That's how I got the name wack.
When I got my bow, and saw him coming, I also put the walkman back on was bobin my head and sing back strap fever when I shot the buck the 2nd time. He's about 50 years old and real old school bow hunter. The look on his face was absolutly priceless. Totally speachless, and completely dumbfounded. How? from? with those on? Dancing? I don't think he spoke in full sentences for at least 3 hours. lmao I later found that the reason I spined this buck was because My arrow hit my umbrella. I expected to stop him sooner and had to swing further than planned. I laugh and remember his face every time I look at the patched hole in that umbrella.

RE: Funny bowhunting stories
 

nobody has a funny story to tell?

RE: Funny bowhunting stories
 

nope, but that was a good one :D

RE: Funny bowhunting stories
 

That one was HILARIOUS!

RE: Funny bowhunting stories
 

I gotta say I'm a little appalled that you would beat a deer with a stick trying "knock him out" instead of shooting him again. How old are you?

RE: Funny bowhunting stories
 

:D

RE: Funny bowhunting stories
 

Snake, I'm probably older than you are but that's no excuse either. My intent wasn't to beat up the deer, it was to put him out of his misery as quickly as possible. I was taught to hit a small spot just above the eyes 1 time and slit the throat. A technique used for many generations to kill livestock prior to butchering. I had never had to try this on a buck before. When I figured out it wasn't working I went to plan B as quickly as possible. No, not my most proud moment, learned my lesson, won't be trying that again anytime soon. I will tell you my method when performed correctly is much faster than shooting the deer again. The buck after my arrow passed through the heart and both lungs took at least a minute or two to drop and was kicking the whole time. Seemed like forever. This buck surprised the heck out of me. I had seen several deer spined prior, they weren'y going anywhere. This one's back legs weren't working but he had plenty of fight left in the front end. A lot more fight than I wanted or expected, when I first got close to him, he was laying still, thought he was dead, looked easy, the branch I had was more to poke him with and then he nearly took my head off, the 4 or 5 wacks I took were more in self defense, I remember thinking this stick ain't big enough. lol when I went running back for my bow, I swear the buck was trying to follow me. When trying to land the 2nd shot I had to keep moving because he kept trying to come toward me, wouldn't give me a broad side. It's like those druggies you see on TV shows who are so drugged up they can take 50 bullets and keep going, only get more mad.
I'm telling ya Snake, if you were there watching, you'd been laughing you a$$ off and not whining about cruelty to animals. I know my friend was. He was also happy my rack was broke because, whole, it would have beat his in our contest. It would have been cruel to continue the fight and even more cruel to back off and let him die on his own time.
I have learned a few lessons with this buck.: don't ever assume a deer is dead, deer can play possum, bring your bow with you when going to find out, hitting that spot on a buck with a club is near impossible if the buck has a rack and can still move his head, A bucks rack can be knocked off fairly easily, and a bucks front legs are very strong and even with out back legs, he could have killed me and last but not least, A wounded buck durring rut isn't something to take lightly. This was the second buck that nearly got me, the first I was tracking in a cattail marsh and he desided to turn and fight, long story short I wash bushwacked and ended up with a concussion and bruised ribs and leg. He might have gotten away if he didn't turn to trample me a second time. The nock of the arrow I stuck into his chest somehow got hung in my boot which drove the arrow further in and around while I was swinging my knife chopping at the back of his neck and spine with my knife, holding on for dear life with the other arm. I also have a pretty good scar where the arrow nock dug into my leg. I landed in a deep channel that somehow appeared out of no where, he staggered around in the cattails for a moment and then dropped. The shot took out 1 lung, the wrastling match took out the heart and other lung by moving the arrow around. I had given this buck 1 1/2 hours before starting to track. I had been tracking for at least 1 hour and have never seen a better blood trail. The buck should have been dead, enough blood for 3 deer. Also never been so lost. I never want to have to track anything in a cattail marsh again. After all that, dragging him out about midnight I woke up a pair of sandhill cranes that weren't too happy I was in there space. Talk about a heart attack, damn those things are loud up close, big too! It took a couple weeks to recover from that one. lol Maybe not so funny but a true story. Hope it doesn't appal anyone.

RE: Funny bowhunting stories
 

My friend and I were out bow hunting one morning , didn't have much luck and returned about noon. He had an aunt who was visiting from out of state that he had to drive to the airport that afternoon and he hoped to make it back in time to hunt the last couple hours of the day.
On the way to the airport, he had an itch but with his aunt in the car, he sucked it up and tried to forget about it after awhile it went away. He dropped the aunt off at the airport and rushed back to hunt and returned just in time, we were getting dressed and ready to hunt. He ran into his house to change his cloth and from inside the house we hear him yell," What the h#ll, O my God!" and we hear a crash. We run into the house to find him passed out on the floor with his pants around his ankles. We wake him up and he looks down at his tally wacker and passes out again! The itch he felt on the way to the airport? Was A tic. It stopped itching because it had burried itself into my friends tallywacker.
Now I concider him a close friend, but I draw the line at sabre toothed crotch critters. Short of throwing water at him from a safe distance, he wasn't even getting in my truck till he put his pants back on,. If he doesn't come to in a few minutes and pull his pants up, I'm calling 911.
He came to eventually, my other friend and I gathered up a tweezers, some vasoline, a lighter and cigarette, some dental floss, a big needle, a big knife (mostly for effect) some gauze, Jack Danials and sent him back into the bathroom to do battle and take back his man hood. He couldn't do it.
We had to give up a perfectly good hunting trip and go to the Emergency room. At first I don't think anyone at the ER was taking us seriously! I mean I got this guy who acting like he's dieing and keeps passing out and they don't believe me when I tell 'em it's because he's got a tic on his dick. After a couple minutes of a rediculous conversation, he was finally admitted , treated and released in a record 4 hours. I found the discharge nurse to be quite funny trying to explain to us what kind of care he's going to need.
" He's gotta do what? Ah...Don't tell me, if it's up to me he's going to die and if you can't tell me he's bug free, he's riding home in the back of my pick up, and I hope you gave him something to stop that whimpering, we don't want to hear him crying from our tree stands tomorrow. He ain't gunna bleed all over my truck is he?" They gave him Vicodin and valume. We took him home, he dissapeared into bed and we didn't see him again for about 2 weeks. Before that I was the whimp who got his butt kicked by a wounded buck. Funny how he stopped giving me crap about that.....and the moral of the story?

RE: Funny bowhunting stories
 

LMAO!!!!!!! That has got to be the funniest story I have EVER heard!

RE: Funny bowhunting stories
 

Good story!;)

RE: Funny bowhunting stories
 

I met a friend to do some coyote hunting late Feb..2001. My friend had a new carbon lined tent that he had set up, a new electronic call and a furry thing that wiggles a lot to bring them in close. We were both kind of exited to get out, the day before we had located an active den and were pretty sure we were going to see coyote's that day.
It was cold, thermometer hovering around 0, winds gusting to about 15- 20 mph. To stay warm I packed a propane heater, strapped it to my back pack and off we went. At first light, we were cosy in the tent and as we're watching his wiggley thing, a redtailed hawk swoops out of the sky and takes off with it!
My friend runs outside, watches the hawk fly away and just before it flies out of sight, it drops the decoy. Now my friend was already a little mad at me because I can't stop laughing and he wants to go look for his decoy. Off he went, 7 am and he's going to get his decoy back. 11 am roles around and I'm cosy in the tent, 2 coyote's show up, I shoot one, still no sign of my friend or his decoy, I turn off the heater, leave it in the tent, and take my prize back to my truck. At the truck, I listened to the forcast, ate some lunch and as I'm about to head back out, I smell smoke. Not leaves burning, not wood,.......
As I rush back to the tent, I find my friend had returned, he found his decoy, got back into the tent, lit the heater and it flamed up and torched his tent to the ground! He managed to save the heater, back pack and our gear, had some singed hair, burnt a few holes in his camo, and melted part of his boot but was OK.
As I'm standing there stunned by the visual, listening to him swear at my heater I asked him what happened?
As he's trying to tell me what he did I see movement out of the corner of my eye, it's the decoy and it's working......I'm trying not to laugh, and was doing a fair job of holding a straight face until he told me, "yea, the remote controle is in the tent. It didn't start wiggling until the remotes batteries exploded."
I couldn't help it, I had to laugh.
He had relit the heater, and it ran out of gas. He put a new bottle on it and didn't turn the gas off first. He had pretty much emptied the whole new bottle into the tent before trying to light it. On the heater it says in big red letters, "Do not light indoors or within an enclosed area." Maybe that's why? If he read this and the intructions, he also forgot holding down the button that when released, starts the gas flowing. 5 years later that heater still works perfectly well when you follow the directions. He said it was one big flame all around him and the tent actually pulled up stakes, flew upward and he fell backwards on to the ground. Lucky for him he didn't zip the floor in or he couldn't have escaped out the bottom. He was cold and in a hurry to get warm, had zipped the door shut.....
"Are ya warm now?"
The frame is still there, I put some camo burlap around the base, a piece of tarp for a roof, looks pretty sad but the smell is gone. I felt soory for my friend so back at the truck, I gave him my first coyote, something I had forgot to mention back at the tent fire.
" Yea, should a been there, there was two of 'em, popped out of there den right over there!
"YOU ARE KIDDING RIGHT??!!"
(holding up cyote) "Does this look like I'm kidding?" You must have been a long ways away if you didn't here my shot! Where'd you find that fury decoy anyways? Sure took ya long enough."
"Didn't, walked back to my house, took my car, got another one."
"That's 3 miles one way walking!"
On my way home that evening, I'm driving down a country road, about 6 miles from where we were hunting that morning and I see what looks like the decoy, laying in the middle of the road. I stopped, backed up, but it was a dead squirrel. Since I was stopped and out of the truck, nature called and believe it or not, while standing there writing my name, I see the decoy, 3 feet to my left. I couldn't believe it! No bull, 6 miles away, in perfect alignment with the direction we saw the hawk go, chances of never finding it had to be a billion to one. My friend still doesn't believe it, not sure I do either and I found it. lol

He still has the coyote hide on his wall with the fury wiggly thing in it's mouth.....looks pretty cool.

RE: Funny bowhunting stories
 

HAHAHAHA!

RE: Funny bowhunting stories
 

A friend of mine loves to trout fish and in his quest to find a good trout stream, he found some good public land to hunt. We were looking for something different to do so we got our tree climbers and went to go check it out. He had already scouted a good place for himself and I was left pretty much clueless and basically found a tree and climbed it. I waited til dark, saw nothing, climbed down and went back to my friends tree as agreed. He still had not climbed down yet when I arrived under his tree. He likes to push the limits at dark.
We're talking pretty loudly, he's throwing things at me, getting ready to climb down, I look to the west, on the trail we have to leave by stands a deer, I think. It's perfectly still, maybe a log??? I look up and say to my friend, what time is it?
"3 minutes left" was the reply I got. When I got the reply, I saw the "log" wiggle it's ears!
" Then I've got time to shoot a deer?" as I've got my back to the deer, I grab an arrow, get it nocked, kept my cool and just kept talking as I drew, eased the bow around,
"Yea right, what ever." He has no clue yet, he's turned around and about ready to start his desent.....
The deer was 20 yards and faceing me, as I eased around at full draw and found it in my peep, it takes 1 step sideways and I DRILLED IT! broadside.
"What the h*ll was that? "
" You said I had time yet to shoot a deer. I shot a deer, now get your butt down here, we got some tracking to do." lmao
Well I tracked it, my friend took the climbers and bows back and fetched the sled. While he was doing that, my flashlight quit just as I found my deer. He figured I'd just wait til he got back with another flashlight, I was done field dressing before he returned. Did it 100% by feel, I impressed myself and my friend but was a bloody mess from head to toe. My friend gave me 2 choices, ride home with my bloody cloths on in the back of his truck, or take my bloody cloths off and ride home in the back of his truck, either way, I wasn't getting in the cab. I ellected to keep my bloody cloths on and should have seen the looks I got at the gas station/resturaunt that we had to register the deer at. I think a few patrons left before finishing there meals, was kind of funny. If I would have yelled" I'm going to kill someone!", I think about 40 people were ready to run for the doors. Could have heard a pin drop.