Dumbest/Funniest thing youve ever done in the woods.
07-26-2007, 01:03 PM
#41
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Nebraska
Posts: 131
RE: Dumbest/Funniest thing youve ever done in the woods.
OK, my crappy experience isn't anywhere NEAR some of these but here goes.
I was in my stand one evening and a couple hours go by and I start to feel that grumble down in the pits of my gut that tell me I gotta take a dump, well were creeping up on twilight and I wasn't about to abort my hunt right now. So I sat there and the grumbling kept getting worse and the onset of cramps had begun so now I've got some squirming going on. I'm almost in pain as I try to hold it back and finally I've had enough, I hadn't seen any deer anyhow so I gotta go NOW! So I take off my release and and set down my bow and took my first step onto the ladder when I looked and saw two deer that had just cleared the trees heading my way. DAM! as bad as I had to go I got back up put my release back on and got ready for a shot. These two deer were in no hurry to cross over to where I could get a shot and my grumbling belly wasn't getting any easier, Finally they get to a shooting lane one put its head behind a tree and I come to full draw. That dam deer just stopped, so here I am at full draw for what seemed like an hour all the while I have to take a monster crap. My arm is in serious pain but if I let down it's gonna hear me, It takes a step to show me just enough to take a shot, I put a pin on and let it go. Neck shot at about 5 yards, it went straight to the ground and I dam near jumped out of that stand and into the woods just shy of messing my pants.
Then I realized I didn't have any TP so I had to start cutting my socks off to wipe.
I was in my stand one evening and a couple hours go by and I start to feel that grumble down in the pits of my gut that tell me I gotta take a dump, well were creeping up on twilight and I wasn't about to abort my hunt right now. So I sat there and the grumbling kept getting worse and the onset of cramps had begun so now I've got some squirming going on. I'm almost in pain as I try to hold it back and finally I've had enough, I hadn't seen any deer anyhow so I gotta go NOW! So I take off my release and and set down my bow and took my first step onto the ladder when I looked and saw two deer that had just cleared the trees heading my way. DAM! as bad as I had to go I got back up put my release back on and got ready for a shot. These two deer were in no hurry to cross over to where I could get a shot and my grumbling belly wasn't getting any easier, Finally they get to a shooting lane one put its head behind a tree and I come to full draw. That dam deer just stopped, so here I am at full draw for what seemed like an hour all the while I have to take a monster crap. My arm is in serious pain but if I let down it's gonna hear me, It takes a step to show me just enough to take a shot, I put a pin on and let it go. Neck shot at about 5 yards, it went straight to the ground and I dam near jumped out of that stand and into the woods just shy of messing my pants.
Then I realized I didn't have any TP so I had to start cutting my socks off to wipe.
07-26-2007, 04:12 PM
#45
Nontypical Buck
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location:
Posts: 2,621
RE: Dumbest/Funniest thing youve ever done in the woods.
How about one more "poop story"
This happened to a friend of mine. He relayed this story to me.
My friend decided to take his father deer hunting with him on the first day of rifle season. They got up extra early because they would be hunting a public hunting area.
They were the first to arrive at the parking lot. Since they were extra early, they decided to sit in the truck a bit longer. It was cold and my buddy thought it would be better for his elderly father to stay warm a bit longer.
As they sat there, my buddy started getting that rumble in the pit of his stomache. He had to go. He decided to get out and go to the edge of the woods before anyone else came to hunt.
He barely got to the woods and got his pants down when here it come. He just started to bend over whenit exploded out of him. Lots of pressure behind it if you know what I mean.
When he finished he went back to the truck to get his dad and head for their stands.
Later that day, when he went back to the truck for lunch, he saw where he had that episode earlier that morning. In the snow, he could see his tracks. Behind where he stood was nothing for about 2 feet, then there was a orangish/brownsplattering all over the snow. It was sprayed everywhere.
He said the funny part was that he went right on the main trail where everyone enters the woods. He could see other hunter's tracks in the snow where they made a detour around his mess. He couldn't help to think, what they thought, to see that splattered all over the snow 2 feet behind his tracks.
This happened to a friend of mine. He relayed this story to me.
My friend decided to take his father deer hunting with him on the first day of rifle season. They got up extra early because they would be hunting a public hunting area.
They were the first to arrive at the parking lot. Since they were extra early, they decided to sit in the truck a bit longer. It was cold and my buddy thought it would be better for his elderly father to stay warm a bit longer.
As they sat there, my buddy started getting that rumble in the pit of his stomache. He had to go. He decided to get out and go to the edge of the woods before anyone else came to hunt.
He barely got to the woods and got his pants down when here it come. He just started to bend over whenit exploded out of him. Lots of pressure behind it if you know what I mean.
When he finished he went back to the truck to get his dad and head for their stands.
Later that day, when he went back to the truck for lunch, he saw where he had that episode earlier that morning. In the snow, he could see his tracks. Behind where he stood was nothing for about 2 feet, then there was a orangish/brownsplattering all over the snow. It was sprayed everywhere.
He said the funny part was that he went right on the main trail where everyone enters the woods. He could see other hunter's tracks in the snow where they made a detour around his mess. He couldn't help to think, what they thought, to see that splattered all over the snow 2 feet behind his tracks.
07-26-2007, 04:29 PM
#46
Nontypical Buck
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Central Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,313
RE: Dumbest/Funniest thing youve ever done in the woods.
Something weird that happened to me before, i Dropped a log in the woods one time, it was a good 2 and a little half logger and I seen a buck walk right up to it and bury his nose in it, this was pre season.
IDK seems weird to me
Ryan.
IDK seems weird to me
Ryan.
07-26-2007, 05:45 PM
#47
Nontypical Buck
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: RI
Posts: 3,073
RE: Dumbest/Funniest thing youve ever done in the woods.
Okay, if we must share poop stories... Everybody knows that you pack TP when you go hunting because you never know when you're gonna have that uncontrollable urge.I never had to go when hunting, but I always pack the TP anyway. Nobody ever reminded me to pack TP when you're scouting... Of course, I'm checking out a beautiful spot and find a ton of sign when I get that gurgle. Usually, I can hold it until I can get to a rest room, but this was the gurgle from hell. Well, its a good thing that I had decided to take a notebook with me to jot down notes regarding the waypoints I was entering into my GPS, those pages came in pretty handy 
07-26-2007, 10:19 PM
#48
Fork Horn
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location:
Posts: 167
RE: Dumbest/Funniest thing youve ever done in the woods.
3 years ago during rifle season in MN I was posting. My 2 hunting buddies were doing a small drive through some private land 15 acres we have access to. They said they would be to me in 30-45 minutes. 15 minutes in I heard a shot, 90 minutes later I heard a hoot owl and thought it was them calling me over. The wind had shifted and was blowing into the escape trail anyway so I started towards them. Well....it wasn't them hooting. They had shota doe with the first shotand saw12 or so other does in that area along with a big typical 14 pointer and were slowly workingtowards me in that small heavy alder swamp that they saw him go into. The big boy smelled me but wouldn't come out andwe had him trapped until I opened the door. The neighbor shot a couple hours later. Scored somewhere in the high 160s.
Now they hoot at me and laugh......It is quite the joke...
Now they hoot at me and laugh......It is quite the joke...
07-26-2007, 10:30 PM
#49
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location:
Posts: 168
RE: Dumbest/Funniest thing youve ever done in the woods.
Well this isn't a poop story but about two years ago I fell asleep in my climber. And when I woke I pulled one of those half asleep jerks and dropped my bow about 20 feet. I got down check out my bow it didn;t hurt it. so I shot a leaf from about 20 yards everything seemed ok so I got back in my stand I turn around pulled my release out of my pocket and dropped it. So I had to go get it. needless to say between wearing out a tree and sleeping I didn't see a thing that day!!!!
07-26-2007, 11:15 PM
#50
Nontypical Buck
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: North Central Iowa
Posts: 1,642
RE: Dumbest/Funniest thing youve ever done in the woods.
I got a good poop story... My dad's cousin and his cousin were going up fishing to Canada in the summer like they always did. Anyways they left early and on the way their the one guy decided to eat a bean burrito from a gas station... Well everything is fine for the whole day.the next morningthey decide to go out into the boat for some fishing. Well they were out in the middle of a monstrous lake. (Lake of the Woods I think) when the bean burrito decides to rear its ugly head. So my dad's cousin floors the boat to the nearest land mass. His cousin (we'll call Frank) hits the ground running before the boat even touches the shore he might have even went in the water... So off into the woods he goes... A while later he comes running back to the boat looking terrified yelling at my dad's cousin to get the heck out of there! After they get moved away my dad's cousin asked what happened. well Frank found a nice open spot and took an explosive dump... then he got the feeling someone was watching him... he turned around after he had finished and there sat a house, with the family inside eating breakfast in front of therehuge window,all of whom had a horrified expression...
Another good story about the same guy... Frank and my dad's cousin were fishing. Frank catches a small walleye and is looking at its underbelly with his mouth opentrying to determine whether its male or female when all of a sudden a spurt of fish crap hits its target and lands right in his mouth! My dad's cousin still gets teary eyed when he remembers that story.
Another good story about the same guy... Frank and my dad's cousin were fishing. Frank catches a small walleye and is looking at its underbelly with his mouth opentrying to determine whether its male or female when all of a sudden a spurt of fish crap hits its target and lands right in his mouth! My dad's cousin still gets teary eyed when he remembers that story.
