Transformation
 

All my life I have been hunting with my rifle and loved it. Now more and more all I want to do is hunt with my bow. Is their a help group for this, or is my condition terminal?

RE: Transformation
 

Sorry to have to tell you Capt Ray but there is nothing that can done for someone in your condition, its terminal.

Happy BOWhunting<img src=icon_smile_shock.gif border=0 align=middle><img src=icon_smile_big.gif border=0 align=middle>

RE: Transformation
 

at least you wont die from this addiction. congrats

RE: Transformation
 

...Hmmm...Capt Ray it would appear that you may be in the beginning stages of the dreaded bow hunting fever, or sometimes referred to as bow dementia by &quot;healthy&quot; wives and girlfriends. Your condition could get better or worse depending on one's point of view. In the beginning stages if diagnosed early there is a cure. It is a painful process but the remedy is usually administered by a spouse or boss.

There are a few more symptoms that might let you know how far along the malady has spread through your system though. How many of the following symptoms are you experiencing?

1. Does the song 'Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer' bring the words &quot;trophy of a lifetime&quot; dancing through your brain and cause you to start sharpening your broadheads with a devilish grin.

2. When the wife or girlfriend requests your help with putting a bow on a Christmas package do the names Mathews, Hoyt, or Merlin go dashing through your head.

3. As you are shopping with the wife do you find yourself pulling out your wind checker in the parking lot of the mall and testing its direction just in case you get done in time to spend the last fifteen minutes of daylight in your tree stand.

4. When you attempt to buy perfume for your wife or girlfriend does your favorite fragrance carry the label 'Tinks 69'.

5. Inexplicably you attend the office Christmas party adorned in a camouflaged scentlok tuxedo--with tails.

6. As a salesman describes a &quot;hot&quot; must have product for bow hunting your eyes glass over, drool starts running out the corner of your mouth, and the words gullible appear on your forehead. Price becomes a non-issue and you suddenly hear your mouth saying &quot;I'll take it&quot;. Later you find out you could have bought the same thing at the hardware store for half the price but you figure it is ok as long as the wife doesn't find out.

7. You can't seem to remember the proper shelf to put your toothbrush on but have no problem finding your treestand surrounded in total darkness in the middle of nowhere.

8. You now happily buy tampons for the wife after finding out they make great scent wicks.

9. When discussing things like shaft size, stiffness and achieving complete penetration, viagra never enters into the conversation.

10. Because of your bad back house hold duties like taking out the trash, painting the garage, or raking leaves are to painful to attempt. But it is an absolute necessity to practice shooting that 70 pound bow all day if need be to get ready for hunting season.

Please keep in mind this is in no way a complete list. There are in fact many more symptoms but for the sake of time I have only included the short list above. Should you find that one or more of the above pertain to you, then my friend, you are in fact afflicted. But take hope...there are support groups. You could join A.A. (Archers Anonymous) or you could just give in to your addiction. What a great way to go.....:)



Edited by - Antler Eater on 12/25/2002 12:12:57

Edited by - Antler Eater on 12/26/2002 21:38:06

RE: Transformation
 

Antler Eater...Your KILLIN&quot; me!LOL. Beer through the nose, can't breathe, Little pee comin' out Funny!<img src=icon_smile_big.gif border=0 align=middle><img src=icon_smile_big.gif border=0 align=middle><img src=icon_smile_big.gif border=0 align=middle><img src=icon_smile_big.gif border=0 align=middle>

Capt Ray, I bought a slug gun last year in august to get ready for the season. Sighted it in, 2 years. Hunted less than 5 times with it in those 2 years and I'm selling it. Sitting in the woods and nice deer at 50yrds...NEVER crossed my mind to pick up the gun...&quot;I'm outta range, Gotta get closer&quot; is all I'm thinkin'<img src=icon_smile_shock.gif border=0 align=middle>!LOL I got it bad too!

Trushot }}------>

RE: Transformation
 

Capt Ray, I am already there and I just got my first bowkill this year, Santa delivered a new bow to me early and even though it is gun season(and late bow)I am hunting with my bow this afternoon.

Antler eater, you have to much time on your hands, but I got a big laugh out of those signs, the best one was #9!!!LOL

The Tazman aka Martin Price
Founder and President of
Virginia Disabled Outdoorsmen Club

RE: Transformation
 

Having had some extensive experience with the 'other' group, Let me see ......

STEP 1:
We admitted we were powerless over Archery, and that our marriages had become unmanagable.

STEP2:
Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves controlled our destiny.

STEP3:
Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of the big 8 point running around the backyard.

STEP4:
Took a searching and fearless moral inventory of our Archery apparatus, then went to Walmart.

STEP5:
Admitted to God, ourselves, and our spouses just how much we charged at Walmart.

STEP6:
Were entirely ready to have our spouses remove all of the items we bought.

STEP7:
Humbly asked our spouses not to make us sleep on the couch.

STEP8:
Made a list of all the trophy hunting areas within a 1000 miles of our home.

STEP9:
Made direct plans to attend each of these places whenever possible, except when to do so would conflict with the rut in another place.

STEP10:
Continued to take archery inventory, and when something was missing, promptly replaced it with the lastest technology available.

STEP11:
Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our luck with the 8 point in the backyard, praying only for knowledge of his whereabouts and the power to get downwind of him.

STEP12:
Having had a spiritual awakening as the results of these steps, we try to carry this message to other hunters and practice these principles in all our affairs.


Now, just let me put a quick disclaimer on this. If you are part of the 'other' group, please, please, please, do not be offended. I only offered this as a joke. Having been a part of the other group for many a year now, I can honestly say I have the utmost respect for that organization and everything it stands for. I wouldn't have the things I have today if it were not for them. I do truely love them all as if they were brothers and sisters.

KEEP IT LEGAL. KEEP IT SAFE. OR WE MAY NOT GET TO KEEP IT AT ALL.

RE: Transformation
 

Bud, that was perfect. I'm a friend of Bill's also and I'm not offernded at all. It's a shame how we have to be so careful and Politically Correct now a days. Wish people would lighten-up.

Capt,Your in the right place here at Huntingnet. It's the AA of archery. Just some advice. Keep your ears open and you'll get great info from the people who post and visit this site. JERRY

RE: Transformation
 

Your welcome to stay with some of us old timers like mounting man,5-shot,Rob/Pa, Matt/Pa and mr.4pt, at the Betty Ford Clinic...for archers not alcoholics. We have a whole wing to ourselves. Sometimes Arctic joins us for tea when they unbuckle his straight jacket.

RE: Transformation
 

Hey Big John,
I'm confused. I though you stayed at the Bow Fetish Clinic? Not the Betty Ford Clinic. LOL

KEEP IT LEGAL. KEEP IT SAFE. OR WE MAY NOT GET TO KEEP IT AT ALL.