Do men change when they can't hunt?
 

I have been married to my 30 yr old husband for about 2 years now, were dating for5 years prior to that, so for a total of7 years. Every single fall he is all happy, physched and ecstatic about his hunting. Me? I'm all for it, I totally support his passion for it and love that he get's his " thing" to do and look forward to.( most, not if all the other wives I know piss and moan and complain about the husbands being away,) so w/ that you know I'm not ruining his enjoyment.
OK, to my point from January to about September he is the most unbearable son of b*tch to live with. He is an alcholic, drinks non- stop till about September and starts back up again in January.I ignore it... I work 40+ hrs a week, I still cook, cleane, and always have time to fullfill his every need in the bedroom. I don't go out and blow tons of money, nag, I haven't "lost" my looks since we started dating. WHAT THE HECK IS HIS PROBLEM???
I totally understand this is a pretty odd question for the bowhunting forum, but pls understand if I deceided to ask this question to the other women they would go all oprah on me. That to me isn't a "fair" answer to my question. I do read this forum often, ( I like to be educated about my husbands hobby) gives us something to talk about other then annoying female B.S. lol I do see how unbelievable knowledgable you all are, and seem to get to the point with every other question, I'm just hoping you can be that way with this one.
If I can get a "mans" view on this maybe I will understand this . I don't bring it up to him because I don't want to be a bother to him. so, No, I never talked to him abut it.
Is this like withdrawl from hunting for him?? Can I do anything to help him with his no hunting depression? or, is he insane and I should just leave him?
Thank you very much for your time.

RE: Do men change when they can't hunt?
 

You are in the wrong place my dear (I mean that in MANY ways).

This is not something you are gonna solve in a bowhunting forum full of strangers.

Get some REAL help before it gets worse.


Good Luck

RE: Do men change when they can't hunt?
 

boredom?

RE: Do men change when they can't hunt?
 

Is this my wife talking? Well let me tell you my thought on this. I definately change once deer season has ended. Matter of fact I just talked to my wife about this. Is your husband a Gemini by chance? I'm one of those people who always has to have something going on in my life. If I don't have something going on I get bored and start thinking way to much. During deer season I have one thing on my mind, that is hunting. It's almost an obsession, actually according to my wife it is an obsession. So, once hunting ends each year it's almost dramatic. Kind of like getting the holiday or winter blues. The closer deer season gets the happier I get. Mainly because I know I will have something to do, something to look forward to. I used to be a drinker but only drink maybe once a month if that. Your husband is bored! I guarantee it, he probablly doesn't have any hobbies or too many friends aside from his hunting buddies. This person sounds like me, almost to a tee. Minus the drinking part. I hope this helps, you and your husband are not alone. I am sure if you talked to a shrink they probablly have some classification for this type of personality. I think many of hunters on here would agree that they have this same experience each year once the season ends.

Take Care.
270GameOver

RE: Do men change when they can't hunt?
 

Maybe some of my insight will help. I'm 23 yrs old andALWAYS get depressed around the 2nd to 3rd week of January. Bow season is done, along with quail and pheasant season. This marks the endto the best 3.5 months of the year. But then time rolls toabout mid to late Feb. when shed antler season starts. I spend a whole month depressed/anxious to get back out there. Shed season lasts until late March....sometimes I'll look for antlers into April. Now, the weather is starting to get nice and I can do my summertime outdoor activities and I feel great....fishing, skiiing, rollerblades, bikes, family time with kids....(if you're married), etc, etc.

To me, it is a withdrawal from hunting. I won't deny it and I'm sure others on here feel the same way as I do. What are his other hobbies? More hunting/fishing related things? I'm sure that by now you know what they are. When the seasons are over, do things that you and him both like to do together. (I hope to hell, that I don't come off sounding like Dr. Phil...haha)

RE: Do men change when they can't hunt?
 

I think Atlas nailed it.

Sounds like deeper problems than what can be solved here,I agree....get real help soon.

RE: Do men change when they can't hunt?
 

It does sound like a job for Dr. Phil. I myself enjoy all kinds of hobbies such as hunting, fishing, golfing, and pretty much everything else outdoors. My wife may say that I am a little too outdoorsy. She tells me that I find a hobby and almost become obsessed with it. She didn't say it in a really nice voice. Here I will let her tell you in her own words.

Please clear the floor for Mrs. Iowabob.

Nice...Hi its Mrs Iowa Bob. This is what I wake up to everyday...Him on this forum typing(pecking) away..its ok...Ten years ago my hubby proposed to me and then added.."I hunt, If you marry me, Thats not going to change. Don't ask me to" (I thought How bad can it be?? then said yes..obviously..) Well, not only does he hunt..but anything else that he can find to do outside...I have seen him mope around after hunting season...almost pathetic..Now, he moves on to his other hobbies. With the drinking??Thats a tough one...Maybe your hubby needs to find another sport/hobby. I know it saved my sanity!!!! Much as I Love him ... easier to love when hes happy!!!(Aren't we all?):) Good Luck!

RE: Do men change when they can't hunt?
 

The only time off seasion blues hit me is when i dont get out enough durring seasion.I was living in the woods this seasion and i think im as happy its over as the deer are.Now i still go out,I just dont have to carry a bow or gun.

RE: Do men change when they can't hunt?
 

Well I agree with Atlas that you should get some "real" help I will offer an opinion.

It may be more of a seasonal depressional. When the daylight time gets less it has been proven to be pyschologically depressing to some folks. Now, the fact that he hunts or is active during the first phase of this seasonal depression keeps his mind occupied. Once he becomes inactive the depression sets in. Depression takes many forms, I'm not saying he sits around crying butdepression manifests itself in different ways, drinking, moody etc.

I wish you luck and I would be encouraged by your efforts and desire to reach-out and look for help.

RE: Do men change when they can't hunt?
 

You need to talk to him about it !! Granted I miss bow season already but it doesn't drive me to drinking or being a bear all the time. I find other things to keep me happy. One of the things is spending more time with the wife and doing the things she likes.

Like iowabob85, I tend to findtheoutdoorseven in the off season. Just never could get enough of it. Golf though?? I live in a very rural setting though and the outdoors is just steps away from my house. I couldn't handle living in a big city. Been there and drinking seemed tobe the only thing for entertainment. I got out!!

You need tofind out his problem.From your post, I doubt he even knows he has one. Communication is the keyto a happymarriage. Use it!! Best of luck!!

Tim

RE: Do men change when they can't hunt?
 

I agree, there are a lot of forms of depression. I know people (non-hunters) who get depressed yearly, at various seasons of the year. It may not be 100% due to just hunting. It sounds to me like you should both go to a specialist and get it talked and figured out. Don't give up, get help. Good luck to you.

RE: Do men change when they can't hunt?
 

He doesn't have to stop just because the season closes. Most people here will agree that its all about the hunt, not the kill. He can still hunt with a camera, scout for next year, or even better, he could take you out there and share his enthusiasm and the things hes learned in the woods. Who knows, maybe the bug will bite you.
The drinking is a whole other issue that you don't want a bunch of bowhunters analyzing, but if hunting keeps him out of the bottle, try to keep him hunting. How about small game/predator hunting, in many places coyotes and rabbits are open season all year, tough to do with a bow, but bow hunters are always up for achallenge.

Good luck

RE: Do men change when they can't hunt?
 

Im a husband and a hunter, but my responsibilities as a husband and a father come first. My wife nags that im out hunting everyday after work and on weekends,but she understands that is who I am and always will be. Shehas known this since day one. Hunting should be a passion not an addiction. It sounds to me that your husband has OHD. (Obsessive Hunting Disorder). Sure I get depressed as well when hunting season comes to a close, but there are many things he can do in the off season to remedy this. If you have a pro shop near by that has Techno Hunt, let him spend a day or two a week doing that. Not only will this be fun as a group of hunters and buddies get together and play for hiscore, but it will also relax him, keep his practice and shooting skills up, and keep him off the booze a bit more. Maybe you could even join him and learn why it is we love to do what we do. There are also game farms that have hunting open all year round that are reasonably priced that he can go to and maybe pop a few quail and pheasants during the off season. Maybe he can take up yote hunting, in most states that's open all year round. He can joinor even start a hunting/fishing club if you have the funds available. Take a trip to Cabelas or another big sporting good store and spoil him rotten once a year. This will let him know you care about his what should be a passion. But dont let him forget he has responsibilities at home first before getting 20feet closer to God. I have seen some marriges destroyed by OHD and its not a pretty site. He needs to be a husband and father first. Hunting almost cost me my marrige but my wife knows how much it means to me and how it helps me cope with the every day stress from work and everyday life. I think you get the picture.

RE: Do men change when they can't hunt?
 

I (gulp!)....agree with Atlas.

If I thought my wife thought things about me that you do about your husband.....I'd know I was in deep trouble. That's really sad.

How do you live with someone you obviously respect so little?

I feel sorry for both of you.

RE: Do men change when they can't hunt?
 

You need to get him help for the 9 month benders he goes on. I'm sure the sauce has more to do with him "changing" than hunting season does.

RE: Do men change when they can't hunt?
 

I agree , hunting , or the lack thereof , is not his problem . His problems run far deeper than that if he stays drunk for months at a time and can't shake the seasonal bluses for the same period . Drag him to a counselor and get his head right , I miss not being able to hunt too , but not to the extreme of destroying my marriage . Best of luck .

RE: Do men change when they can't hunt?
 

get him a atv it will cheer him right up

RE: Do men change when they can't hunt?
 

It doesn't sound like the two of you do anything TOGETHER?VOWS:for
better or worse,good times and in bad,till death do you part---ring a
bell?No marriage is without problems but nowadays people just go and
get a divorce instead of working things out!A public forum will get you
answers you may not want to hear.Talk to him about it!JMHO.Good luck.;)

RE: Do men change when they can't hunt?
 

His main problem ishis alcoholism and the end of hunting season just accentuateseverything (depression). Young lady,the first thing you need to be aware of is the fact that you can not change him. He must take it upon himself to make the proper changes.A good place to start would be "AA" but first he needs to admit he's got a drinking problem.;)
It sounds like you need to sit down with him and see what he thinks about all of this, and voice your displeasure. I'm sober almost 5 years now and loving life.:) Get him some help or you're going to lead a miserable life right along with him and I'm sure you don't deserve that! Send me a PM if you feel inclined to do so.
"If you like what you're getting, keep doing what you're doing"

RE: Do men change when they can't hunt?
 

Here here!

RE: Do men change when they can't hunt?
 

I get bored this time of year when hunting is winding down. I could see how it would be easy to fill your time with not so productive habits such as drinking. Luckily I am an avid fisherman and Turkey hunter so I just have to make it through Jan and Feb until the fishing action picks up.

My wife is cool and doesn't give me to much grief about my hobbies, the only time I hear anything is when I am getting carried away and have not been home much for a couple weeks (ie: Nov 1-14) :D:D.

I do agrre with everyone else that the drinking thing sounds like a deeper problem than just missing hunting and he will need to decide for himself that heneeds toget hisact together..

RE: Do men change when they can't hunt?
 

If I have my mind set on getting out in the woods during the season and for any reason I don't get out to the stand my wife says that she can barely stand to be around me.I get the same way if I don't get to the gym enough and there are things that factor into my mood(work and sleep) being the two main things. In the offseason I keep myself busy snowboarding ,ice fishing, wakeboarding , mtn bikingand playing basketball.

I amnot qualified to answer anything about the drinking problem sorry.

RE: Do men change when they can't hunt?
 

In my professional opinion, why are you making statements like "don't want to bother him?" You also describe him as an alcoholic. I would like to think that a wife can "bother" her husband with what she is thinking and feeling, and a husband with wife. At some point you are going to want more, but it is your right to to stay in any legal relationship.

RE: Do men change when they can't hunt?
 

I would be if i could not hunt.

RE: Do men change when they can't hunt?
 

Now If you do read the forum often (as you said in your post)..You know we rarely stay on topic for long and usually poke some fun along the way. Especially after all the good advice has been dished out !

So perhaps if you post a picture of Yourself and Half of your husbands stuff (prefferably Bows, Tree-stands etc along with maps to any land he owns, leases, or has exclusive permission on).
Perhaps we can help you make a better decision.. [:-]:D;)

RE: Do men change when they can't hunt?
 

Woman's POV.. he's bored.. does he go out and shed hunt? scout? hang next years stands? Both my bf and I have a hobby and second job that keeps us busy until next fall.

RE: Do men change when they can't hunt?
 

Your husband's issue really has nothing to do with hunting. Golf could just as easily be a "preoccupation." You could always do the right thing. Confront him on being an alcoholic, being depressed, that you are sick of his crap and either he dry up, get on a med such as lexapro and talk with someone/therapy, or things are done. That would be the right thing for both of you, but again it is your right to suffer in an unhappy marriage.

RE: Do men change when they can't hunt?
 

Atlasman said it all.

RE: Do men change when they can't hunt?
 

Yea atlas said a bunch. Sounds like more of a drinking problem than a hunting problem.

RE: Do men change when they can't hunt?
 

Are you that Britney Spears lookin girl from "Scentloks Gettin Close"?If so ,your husband seems like a nice enough guy to me.

RE: Do men change when they can't hunt?
 

I did not read any past this post; pretty well says it all for me. Great 1st post btw and welcome to the forum. You hang out here and I am sure that there are some single guys that can take your mind off of your problem and by next year the single guy that helped you will be your problem.

RE: Do men change when they can't hunt?
 

get him into hunting other species..... in most places you can squirrel and rabbit hunt up til the end of Jan/Feb...... then theres spring turkey season

maybe he needs another hobby?..... like building an offroad vehicle...which can double as a hunting vehicle as well

or maybe he needs a good swift kick in the **** and a good talking to

RE: Do men change when they can't hunt?
 

The alcohol is probably the main problem. Somehow that's got to stop before the problem will get any better.

RE: Do men change when they can't hunt?
 

I just Googled the name she put on her profile "Porn Star" I don't think the post is real.

RE: Do men change when they can't hunt?
 

The advice is still good though!;)

RE: Do men change when they can't hunt?
 

Quote:

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Do men change when they can't hunt?

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Yep............It's Called Ground Shrinkage

RE: Do men change when they can't hunt?
 

Sad but true:D:D:D:DHow about you dump that ole boy your with Lady Forge and come and teach me the deer hunting ropes?

RE: Do men change when they can't hunt?
 

oh my gosh ., my wife hates jan thru aug., cause that is when i go into rut. im on her like fly on sh@&, she cant wait till hunting season starts!!! .,

RE: Do men change when they can't hunt?
 

I really do think that was my wife posting. I always have a tough time making the annual change from hunter, to biker.
.....can somebody make me a bow rack for an old FLH?