RE: deer rifle caliber
Like most of Life's questions the answer is "depends..."
Where do you hunt? Are long range shots the norm? Do you need a "brush" gun? Want a bolt action or a lever? We need more info to give you the best suggestions.
I hunt out west where the ranges can extend to 350 yards and beyond. I need a rifle that can kill out to 400 yards (my ethical limit for distance to shoot) and the bullet must fly fast and flat. Since I hunt deer and elk I want a bigger round so this may not apply for what you need. I'm glad to see you realize recoil is a consideration and are honest about it. To that end a 30-06 or 7mm are about the highest you'll want to try due to recoil. If you only hunt whitetail deer (generally smaller than mule deer and elk) a lighter caliber with lighter bullets will due. I'd probably recommend a .270 Win as great deer-only and smaller rifle. That is what my wife shoots and I hand load for it. I think it's great for deer size game. She hunts elk with it too but in my experience it's just a little light for elk. Don't get me wrong, she and several others in her family kill elk with 270's but I haven't seen really good results. All of the elk I've seen shot with it have been spikes and cows so it's probably adequate for that size but a huge bull I would choose something bigger myself.
Again, give us some more on the type of hunting you'll need it for and we'll give you some better advice based on your region and type of hunting you expect to encounter.