In the vein of David Letterman's Top Ten, here we go.
TOP 10 THINGS I LIKE TO THINK ABOUT IN MY HUNTING STAND
10. Keep track of how many different positions I can get into in this God forsaken stand,while attempting not to have some part of my body turn numb and fall asleep.
9. Try to visualize what hunting would be like if I actual WON the freaking lottery and could afford the best of everything; gun, bow, outfit, the whole shlameel and then realizeI'd probably see just as much of nothin as I'm seein right now.
8. Just wonderin what I'd look like if I had my picture in Deer and Deer Hunting magazine holding up that 16 point buck's head, which has been in my mind for the past 48 years.
7. How the hell do they get ahold of that doe and make her secreat in a bottle.
6. Just as a stocking stuffer, I'm going to get my son a "Butt-Out" tool, and let his girlfriend try to figure out what it is. Aaahhh, nothin says Xmas like "Butt-Out"!!
5. I'd like to see if a deer really can't figure I'm wearing orange camo or not, just because he sure doesn't act that way. I must look like a giant pumpkin or something.
4. I've been known to say a few decats of the rosary while hunting. Just thinking that God'swatching and saying "Hey, he's praying down there! I'll just send him a nice big rack to see how much he shakes and misses. C'mon everyone, let's Watch!!!"
3. It's amazing how a song will get in your head, and how many times you let it go rightthrough it in a 12 hour day.
2. I've got 6 kids, so the crapola that goes through my mind in one day's hunt can fill up4 Garbage Trucks. Thoughts like tuition, real estate tax payments, con freaking ed, doctor bills, tuition, leaky roofs, honey do's, income taxes, do I have any gin left?, what's on TV tonight, did I mention tuition, what's for supper?, I need an automaticmachine gun for these #$%*'n squirrels, HE's Your Boyfriend??, what year is this?
1. I listen to the ever changing woods which sometimes comes to life from a dead quiet, dead calm to a hustle and bustle like Grand Central Station from birds, squirrels, bugs, wind,back and forth, in and out, all day long, and THAT's what keeps me coming back for more.
And seein some freakin deer would be nice too!!!!!
Last edited by accman; 11-11-2010 at 01:25 PM.