Gee I wonder why she looked at you like you were a couple french fries short of a happy meal...
What would have happened if you took your grill rotisserie motor and the skewer that you normally stuck in a chicken. Then built a simple wooded jig to hold the thing off the ground and attached the motor to the other end? The reason I ask is, I have an old rotisserie in the shop that still works fine. Took it off my old gas grill and it would not fit the new one, so I bought another.