Dawn broke late on this windy drizzely, morning. Even though it was a good twenty minutes into shooting time, the low valley held onto the darkness like a child clutching a favorite teddy bear. My eyes would be my only tool, as the damp forest floor, insulated all movement. At twenty yards the dark blob turned into a deer feeding towards me. As it turned I saw the slight glint of antler. I figured it was the 5 point I had seen earlier in the week. As his head turned I pulled up my binocs to try and add details in the glooming darkness. It was a a different buck, a good buck! He worked his way below me, and worked a licking branch and paw at a scrape. At this point in the underbrush, all I could see was his movement. I reached for my bow shielded by the very tree he was marking. He stepped out, I countinued glassing trying to determine if he was a shooter. He had 5 good tines on his left. He had an unusually long G2 on the right but I couldn't see anything else on that side, not because it wasn't there, but because I never had the right light and angle.
He stepped into a wide open lane, at 15 yards. Did I have enough information to shoot this buck? The light was good for a shot, but I still wasn't 100% sure it was "the" buck. Was I looking through the eyes of a hunter, or was I now looking through the optimistic eyes of a shooter? Many things raced in my mind..the stands I hadn't yet hunted...the bucks I've seen during late summer scouting, last years buck...all these things swirled in my mind as time was in both slow motion and fast forward at the same moment.
Finally I asked myself, as I walked the crimson trail, would I be sure that at the end would be a buck worthy of ending my season? Is it possible that the ground could claim some of what I "thought" I saw?
I watched him walk out of sight, never knowing the turmoil he left in my mind.
The next 3 hours were spent wonderring....but there is only 1 thing I could have done differently, and that was shoot.
I truly think I let one slip...but hopes are high and redemption may be as soon as this afternoon...and then again, I may never know!