"I guess I don't really understand how a 20 gauge shooting the same shot size with, say, 1 ounce of shot at similar velocities will tear up a grouse any more than a 12 gauge with a similar load. Unless you want a 20 gauge just because you can, I'd say the best thing to do would be to buy some 12 gauge shells with lighter 7/8 to 1 ounce payloads."
I've already done that. I believe it's the choke and not the shot size. The modified choke is too tight and turns the breasts to hamburger.
And consider yourself lucky to have a dog that works birds purely on instinct. It would seem to be a very rare gift even for dogs specifically bred as hunting dogs. My dog (a golden retriever/border collie mix) can't even figure out how to retrieve a tennis ball. Oh, he'll chase it as long as it's moving, but once he catches it he just sniffs it and looses interest. I doubt he's cut out for hunting.
Mike
I consider myself very lucky. Wilson is an incredible dog in so many ways. Not to brag, but, when I fostered him he was 16 months old, untrained and completely out of control. I had no desire to keep him but figured I would at least try to train him. He was COMPLETELY off leash trained in 4 days! Heel, recall, etc... everything! I kept him! Thanks much Mike I know I am really very fortunate. I am really glad he was saved from being euthanized.