What are you going to use it for? If its just for plinking, I would recommend a Ruger MKII .22- these will shoot as well as accurately as any production handgun made and is cheap to shoot. Its easier to learn on a handgun that shoots flawlessly and has minimal recoil until you get your fundamentals down. Any 9mm, .40, .45 handgun on a large frame handgun isn' t going to give you any kind of recoil that is in any way uncomfortable, but a .22 is much easier to control if somewhat rapidly fired.
If you' re just buying it for the ' coolness factor' (this has accounted for several guns I' ve bought over the years) I would get the 9mm as you can get surplus ammo for very cheap, and over the counter ammo is quite a bit cheaper than the .40 and .45 also, and in a good handgun, it will be just as accurate if not more so than the other 2 calibers.
For home defense, a .40 wouldn' t be the worst choice, though a .45 and 9mm would work as well.