first off, are you just loading shells to shoot to practice and get her used to shooting a high power or are you loading hunting loads. i loaded a bunch of 87gr spire hornadys for a friend and used a low end charge of h-450 and she smoked a nice nickle buck at almost 90 yards. after that she let her 9 year old daughter shoot her rifle and she thought that it was great. she could shoot her moms "big gun" and it didnt hurt. that was just my experience with the low end loads. hope you find a load that she can shoot well and enjoy it.