So you want to be a trophy hunter, eh?

What makes you think that YOU deserve to be a trophy hunter?!?!?!

What makes you think you have earned the right to hunt trophies?

What makes you feel that you' ve put in your time? Your training?

That' s right! TRAINING! T-R-A-I-N-I-N-G. According to my membership bylaws it clearly statres........" All members of the Loyal Brotherhood of Trophy Hunters, S.W. Penn State Chapter, Local 3030 must receive atleast 100 hours of training in the art of trophmentation. Only training by certified and listed schools of trophmentation will be recognized. Said schools are to be licensed under the augments of a standing officer or board member who has a degree of no less than Doctorite in the field of trophmentation................."

Are you properly educated?

Do you think you are ready? Do you think you can cut it?

Do you think your skin is tough enough?

If you think you' re ready to step up to the plate and can provide proof of completion of one of the many, fine schools of trophmentation, fine,

We can list you as a certified member of the Loyal Brotherhood of Trophy Hunters, S.W. Penn State Chapter, Local 3030.


Send $150.00 (cash only) for your first years dues and processing fee, along with your name, address & phone #. Annual dues are $100.00 and are due every six months or every fourth month, whichever comes first.


Upon receipt of your first annual dues and processing fee you will be issued your official membership identification card and badge. That' s right! I said badge! As on official member, you, like the limited and select others will be able to identify yourself in an official manner. Heck, bystamders may even mistakenly believe that you are law enforcement (or atleast a security guard).

AND THAT' S IT!

You will then be an official TROPHY HUNTER!
(until thy freezer runnith dry of venison. and then you' re right back to shooting anything decent that comes along to refill the freezer!)

BUT YOU MUST ALWAYS REMEMBER! When you are busy in the woods doing all that trophy huntin (as on official member) that I know your looking forward to (and I' m sure you will be!) you must become DECISIVE and DO NOT WALK IN CIRCLES! CIRCLES. Every trophy hunter worth his salt knows that ALL trophys walk STRAIGHT! North-to-south in AM and south-to-north in PM on even number days ans east-to-west in the AM and west-to-east in the PM on odd numbered days! (Please do not share these travel tips with other hunters who are not in OUR
brotherhood, as this is HIGHLY CLASSIFIED information. (I' m sure you know the rigid rules involving the silence of death requirements, don' t you?

SEND CASH TO: LOYAL BROTHERHOOD OF TROPHY HUNTERS
S.W. PENN STATE CHAPTER - LOCAL 3030
123 MAIN STREET
HERSHEY, PA 12345
ATTN: UNCLE MATT, PRESIDENT

NOW...............Can we all just LOL a little?