MontanaVet

Roping A Deer. BAD IDEA!


I hadthis idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall,[/align]feed it up on cornfor a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it.The first[/align]step in this adventure was getting a deer.I figured thatsince they[/align]congregated at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear ofme[/align]when we are there(a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the[/align]bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away) that it[/align]shouldnot be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its[/align]head (to calmit down) then hog tie it and transport it home.[/align][/align]Ifilled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope.[/align]The cattle, who had seen the roping thing before, stayed wellback.[/align]They were not having any of it.After about 20 minutes my deer showed up*3[/align]of them. Ipicked out a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the[/align]feeder, and threw my rope.The deer just stood there and stared atme.I[/align]wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end soI would have a good[/align]hold.

[/align]The deer still just stood andstared at me, but you could tell it was[/align]mildly concerned about the whole ropesituation.I took a step towards it.[/align]Ittook a step away.I put a little tension on the rope andreceived an[/align]education.

[/align]Thefirst thing that I learned is that while a deer may just stand[/align]there looking atyou funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action[/align]when you start pullingon that rope.That deer EXPLODED.

[/align]Thesecond thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT[/align]stronger than acow or a colt.A cow or a colt in that weight range I[/align]could fight down with a rope with some dignity.A deer, nochance.That[/align]thing ran and bucked and twisted andpulled.There was no controlling it[/align]and certainly no getting close to it.As it jerked meoff my feet and[/align]started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me thathaving a deer[/align]on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I originallyimagined.The[/align]only up side is that they do not have as muchstamina as many animals.A[/align]brief 10 minutes later, it wastired and not nearly as quick to jerk me off[/align]my feet and drag me whenI managedto get up.It took me a few minutes to[/align]realize this, since Iwas mostly blinded by the blood flowing out of the[/align]big gash in my head.

[/align]At thatpoint I had lost my taste for corn fed venison.I just wanted[/align]to get that devil creature off the end of that rope.Ifigured if I just[/align]let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it wouldlikely die slow[/align]and painfully somewhere.At the time, therewas no love at all between me[/align]and that deer.At that moment,I hated the thing and I would venture a[/align]guess that the feeling wasmutual.Despite the gash in my head and the[/align]several large knots where I had cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by[/align]bracing my head against various large rocks as it dragged me across the[/align]ground, I could still think clearly enough to recognize that there was a[/align]small chance that I shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the[/align]situation we were in, so I didn't want the deer to have to suffer a slow[/align]death.I managed toget it lined up to back in between my truck and the[/align]feeder*a little trap I hadset beforehand.

[/align]Kind of like a squeeze chute.I got it to back in there and started moving[/align]up so Icould get my ropeback.

[/align]Did youknow that deer bite?They do!I never in amillion years[/align]would have thought that a deer would bite somebody so I was verysurprised[/align]when I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold ofmy[/align]wrist.Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like beingbit by a horse[/align]where they just bite you and then let go.Adeer bites you and shakes its[/align]head*almost like a pit bull.They bite HARD and it hurts.The proper thing[/align]to dowhen a deerbites you is probably to freeze and draw back slowly.I[/align]tried screaming and shaking instead.My method wasineffective.It seems[/align]like the deer was biting and shakingfor several minutes, but it was likely[/align]only several seconds.I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be[/align]questioning that claim by

[/align]now) tricked it.While I kept it busy tearing the bejesus outof my right[/align]arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose.[/align]Thatwas when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day.[/align]Deer will strike at you with their front feet.Theyrear right up on their[/align]back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level,and their hooves[/align]are surprisingly sharp.I learned a longtime ago that when an animal like[/align]a horse strikes at you with their hooves andyou can't get away easily, the[/align]best thing to do is try to make a loud noise andmake an aggressive move[/align]towards the animal.This will usuallycause them to back down a bit so you[/align]can escape.This was nota horse.This was a deer, so obviously such[/align]trickery would not work.

[/align] In the course of a millisecond I devised adifferent strategy.I[/align]screamed like woman and tried to turnand run.The reason I had always[/align]been told NOT to try to turnand run from a horse that paws at you is that[/align]there is a good chance that itwill hit you in the back of the head.Deer[/align]may not be sodifferent from horses after all, besides being twice as[/align]strong and three timesas evil, because the second I turned to run, it hit[/align]me right in the back of thehead and knocked me down.

[/align]Nowwhen a deer paws at you and knocks you down it does not[/align]immediately leave.I suspect it does not recognize that thedanger has[/align]passed. What they do instead is paw your back andjump up and down on you[/align]while you are laying there crying like a little girl and covering your head.[/align]I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away.

[/align]Now forthe local legend.I was pretty beat up.Myscalp was split[/align]open, I had several large goose eggs, my wrist was bleedingpretty good and[/align]felt broken (it turned out to be just badly bruised) and my backwas[/align]bleeding in a few places, though my insulated canvas jacket had protected me[/align]from most of the worst of it.I drove to the nearest place,which was the[/align]co-op. I got out of the truck, covered in bloodand dust and looking like[/align]hell.The guy who ran the place sawme through the window and came running[/align]out yelling "what happened"

[/align]I havenever seen any law in the state of Texas that would prohibit an[/align]individual fromroping a deer.I suspect that this is an area that[/align]they haveoverlooked entirely.Knowing, as I do, the lengths to whichlaw[/align]enforcement personnel will go to exercise their power, I was concerned that[/align]they may find a way to twist the existing laws to paint my actions as[/align]criminal.I swear*.not wanting to admit that I had donesomething[/align]monumentally stupid played no part in my response.I told him "I was[/align]attacked by a deer."I did not mention that at the time I had a rope on it.[/align]The evidence wasall over my body.Deer prints on the back of my jacket[/align]whereit had stomped all over me and a large deer print on myface where[/align]it had struck me there.I askedhim to call somebody to come get me*I[/align]didn't think I could make it home on myown.He did.

[/align]Laterthat afternoon, a game warden showed up at my house and wanted to[/align]know about thedeer attack.Surprisingly, deer attacks are a rare thing[/align]and wildlife and parks was interested in the event.I tried todescribe[/align]the attack as completely and accurately as I could*I was filling thegrain[/align]hopper and this deer came out of nowhere and just started kicking the hell[/align]out of me and BIT me.It was obviously rabid or insane orsomething.[/align]EVERYBODY for miles around knows about the deerattack (the guy at the[/align]co-op has a big mouth).

[/align]For severalweeks people dragged their kids in the house when they saw[/align]deer around and thelocal ranchers carried rifles when they filled their[/align]feeders.Ihave told several people the story, but NEVER anybody around[/align]here.

[/align]I have to see these people every day and as anoutsider*a "city folk"*I[/align]have enough trouble fitting in without them snickeringbehind my back and[/align]whispering "there is the dumb-ass that tried to rope thedeer.[/align][/align]This story was cut and pasted from an email by MV.[/align]