i didn't know where to post this. i posted on AT because i'm only known over there for making strings and am not so attached to it as i am to some of you who have become friends here on this site.
mom took a turn for the worse about 5 weeks ago when the cancer jumped to her brain after an 8 year fight. she had a seizure at work. that's how they found out. within a week 1 or more of the brain tumors started bleeding and she was hospitalized. i immediately packed up and went to charlotte, nc to be with her. stayed until the end, last sunday at 2:30 pm. it was a peaceful passing, thank goodness. she opened her eyes and connected with all of us - first time in days, shed 2 tears, closed her eyes and passed in about 20 seconds. you could see the rapid eye movement starting and i knew she was having 'That' experience of passing right in front of me while i held her hand. it was a very sweet moment, very sweet, and i'm so grateful i have that memory.
BUT, i'm having a hard time getting my sh!* together. bad dreams, tired all the time, no motivation, i guess they call it depression. i got to go hunting yesterday, and that was nice, but i could use a little experience with how long i'm going to be feeling useless, drugged (i'm not), and just empty. john
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aka bucknasty
The average man seeks certainty in the eyes of the onlooker and calls that self-confidence. The warrior seeks impeccability in his own eyes and calls that humbleness.
I basically had the same experience when my grandmother died in 2001. It hurts for a few months and you will have certain days that will be worse than others. One day you'll wake up and realize she's in a better place and that she wouldnt want you to be sad over it.
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Dear, Mr. Trophy Hunter - I just shot the buck you passed up.
Proud member of the Quality Deer Mis-Management Association
Wish there were somthing we could say or do for you. It just takes time. I lost my Grandfather ten years ago to cancer and I still miss him today. It took a few months for everything to get back to normal.
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Diamond Iceman
Apex 5 pin
Octain rest
Limbsavers everywhere
PSE Carbon Force arrows
Good Ol' 100g Muzzys
I lost my mother last year andI experienced pretty much the same feelings as you.With me,the empty feelingsdidn't last too awefullong but the memories of her, well, it's been since last June when she past and there's yet to be a day that I haven't thought of or talked about her at least once.
I feel your pain bud,, lost my dad when I was 18 and he was 50. There's so much I didn't get to say to him and sure wish at times I could turn to ask his advice. There's a better place whenwe go,a reaction tomorphine coming out of surgery after my tractor accident put me "in the light". Heart and lungs shut down and they had to shock and bag me while an anti-morphine shot worked on me, the most peaceful sleep I've ever had.
Your mother was proud of you and you'll continue until you meet her again
Sorry for your loss. What you are feeling is normal for the most part. If you feel you need it see a grief counselor or talk to your family doctor about the sleep problem. Depending on how close you were to your mom this could be a long road. Everyone deals a bit differently.
And obviously if you need to talk or vent we are here for you. Either do it on the forum or PM someone. You can even IM me on yahoo if you would like. My yahoo ID is biteme263 .
Eventually it will get better, it will never be right, but it will get better in time.
Glad you able to be there.
Paul
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I didn't climb to the top of the food chain to eat carrots! (Ron White)
I just would like to say I am truly SORRY for your loss...All deal with the loss of a loved one in different ways and it is a hard hurdle to get over but the letting go is the hardest I think....Just hold onto the good memories and know she is in a better place...
Gibblet,
My condolences my friend. This one especially hits home today as I found out this week that my mother has lung cancer. She's a tough old girl and has already survived breast cancer 8 years ago but this one scares me. Probably because I remember my dad dieing of lung cancer 7 years ago. I found when my father died that after a while I started thinking more of what made me laugh about the old guy and shake my head, that worked for me. It takes time but you will learn to deal with it my friend.
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I don't like people who don't like dogs !
mom's funeral
