It's hard to put into words..but God has recently done a major change in my heart..
I've been a Christian since Oct. of 1976 ..been to Bible college..preached, witnessed , gave away alot of money , sang and wrote many spiritual songs, been to Israel, jail chaplain ,baptized in the holy Ghost and baptized in the Jordan River..
and I can tell you all..apart from agape love{ Unconditional love to ALL people..all races..all religions..the rude ..the mean and cruel and the gays and the proud and arrogant} it's ALL in vain. God's love is NOT selective.
And here's how it all started. My boss is literally a saint. Her and her husband made big bucks.They gave about every cent he made to missions.They live a humble life and are hospital to all . THEN 3 years ago ABOUT..her husband got an anteurysm in his brain. He is now a little handicapped.It changed her life..She now is sweeter than ever and treats ALL people with utmost respect if they deserve it or not. Personally I thought her philosophy was off the wall. I worked for her last year and this year. She thinks I am a holy man of God and treats me as such..you all know that I am not..I come up very short. BUT because of her expectations I try to live up to them.I try to never dissapoint her. Actually she treats all the staff as such and they all do thier utmost.We are an A school. I then thought ..what would happen if I loved / treated all the people I know with that kind of respect and unconditional love ..looking beyond what my eyes see and seeing people's potential ..I wonder what would happen..WEll..I 'm doing it...and it's not by fasting or reading alot of the Bible ..God has simply changed my heart.I used to be filled with negative and bad thoughts..I thought this was the normal spiritual warfar..it obviously insn't..for I had no bad thoughts today..My classroom ran smooth as molasses and the peace of God ruled in my heart.The Lord laid this verse upon my heart today. "For love coverth a multitude of sins.'' I'm home now...and though a little physical weary from the day..my spirit is stilll free..Now I simply think about how I can serve others..I made a couple calls on the phone last night recconciling a few relationships..It's wonderful getting my heart right on this side of glory.Thanks be to God for HIS abundant mercy and unfailing love.
This morning about 5:10 AM I found myself preparing which meals I was going to fast today..and I noticed my joy wasn't quite the same as yesterday..
Then{ 5:15 AM} the Lord spoke to my heart..stop building the walls..you are free to love and serve. { -; I had almost slipped back into my legalistic lifestyle..LOL so glad to be free..
I had almost slipped back into my legalistic lifestyle..LOL so glad to be free..
It is so easy to let the book that brings life and liberty to light through the Gospel of Jesus Christ, become a book of commandments and laws, far greater and more binding than that of Moses.
Nice to hear that Chuck, be blessed my brother. I miss talking to you on the phone; we haven't spoke in several years. I talk to Reb every now and then when his wife lets him use the phone..
I may need to clear up a few things..I was sincerely saved in Oct. of 1976..but as Jacob said in Genesis..my bad days on my jounrey have been MANY..and not by God's doing but my own doing. Many things can truly mess up your mind. Fasting helps and I have been involved in many ministries..yet when you are not fasting and reading the Bible the garbage one has allowed to enter the heart/mind can play havoc for years..bringing fears, guilt and many other Satanic evils. But mixed in those years I have had quite a few blessed days...it's like I've been a Christian carrying a 100 lb load where ever I go..
and people have been the little emps that have tormented me..so I've learned to ignor people ..fast or what ever ..for being alone fishing or hunting seemed to be the best times.
Well, since 3 days ago when in faith I took the plunge and learned to love ALL men regardless..miraculously my pain and oppression has flat out disappeared..I mean I always had to deal with anger and lust issues..they appear to be gone..not one.My students are a little off today..but that doesn't matter..Love is the power of God to keep us and to enpower us. The lady who influenced me never ever quoted one scripture..she lived it.
It's amazing how one person can have so much influence..my goal..to make up for lost time..starting with my family.
The purpose for this thread was to bring glory to God and just maybe..another Christian is going through something similiar..Trust me..if there is hope for me..there is hope for anyone. If it's OK I will continue to be transparent and update on this frequently on how it's going..
Today I visited my 2 sons and it was a joy building them up..and seeing the strange looks on thier faces ..normally we joke around saying crude stuff..my desire to do that is 0 ...I do not ever want to return to the land of guilt , fear and bondage..I feel like a new Christian all over again...trusting God to keep me from backsliding and to use me to bring Him glory..it's one day at a time..
As Jesus instructed the twelve."Don't think ahead what you are to say..for the Holy Spirit will give you the words in that hour."
my bad days on my jounrey have been MANY..and not by God's doing but my own doing. Many things can truly mess up your mind. Fasting helps and I have been involved in many ministries..yet when you are not fasting and reading the Bible the garbage one has allowed to enter the heart/mind can play havoc for years..bringing fears, guilt and many other Satanic evils. But mixed in those years I have had quite a few blessed days...quote]
So right Chuck; all it takes is a small seed of sin to turn into a full blown manifestation of bondage thus hindering our walk with God!
I think many of us have experieced this, thank God for His Holy Spirit to reveal those things to us!
To be honest...I've learned here lately..our focus can not be on people..you will burn out and you can't please all the people all the time anyways..
BUT ..what I have learned from past years..{ Kept a journal} if you truly strive to honour God in all you do { Seek first the Kingdom of God MT 6;33} everything else will take care of it's self..EVERYTHING
What happens is when our walk with God get's careless..then everything else starts going south..
Got delivered
