I work with chiledren who have extreme behaviors....and I see these similiar behaviors acroos the board..Behaviors go in 4 steps...let's look at them and see how they apply here and in the real world.
Anxiety { The beginnning } child starts fidgeting..walking around the room..sharping pencils repeatedly..tensing up..
Teacher Role..notices signs and is in thesupportive role..encouraging child..maybe taking him for a walk etc.etc.acting as a friend.
HNI...we miss this step as we have no idea what this person has gone through today...ift they are under the influence of medication , alcohol etc..making it difficult to read person..
B.Defensive ,,child ask why he has to do such ...in more of a defensive state...using his size maybe to intimidate...oppositional defiant..threatening.
Teacher...sets boundaries....yet gives the child choices.."I need you to finish your vocabulary , writing and reading..You can decide what order.
HNI..this is where most threads on here start...Questions are ask in a challengin way..the responding person on here does not have alot of choices..since the next stage is ACTING OUT ..the most dangerous..another member can question right back and this generally ends up in hurt feelings etc...certainly does not give glory to God...The Christian could gently back off knowing that this conversation is going south..or try and use words that calm the other poster down..no matter how you slice it though..there is usually a confict.
C. Acting out stage....this is the kid who flips his desk over..swings at teacher...yells , cusses and is quite threatening. Child is temperarily out of control
Teacher..quickly remove all children to a safe environment..leave kid with para and buzz for assisstenace if necessary..IF child is big and threateingin..I will stay with the kid and let para leave with the rest of the class.
HNI..Member is very hurt and reacts by not caring what they type..typing insults...condescendnig remarks ...etc.
CONSEQUENCE..member is disciplined...thread is locked..or member is warned..
Final Stage...Restoring stage..my children will often apologize ..for they are truly mentally ill..punishment is served.
Teacher..hugs and encourages and replaying at the right time what a better choice might have been...
HNI...discipline is up..member allowed to post.. or member shakes it off but stays away..
Looking at all 4 steps..you can see that most of our threads start with folks actually being in the defensive stage...STEP TWO Most questions aren't actually asked to learn but rather challenge another's beliefs or faith,,,so ...how can we do anything but fail...In the Christian world are we not called to be encouragers..and to be supportive... Proverbs 20; 3 It is an honour for a man to cease from strife: but every fool will be meddling.
Good try Chuck, but there are some here that I don’t think they intentionally want to hurt others feelings, do because of their own agenda.
The majority of us have been here for over five years and we take each other for granted and we talk to each other like we are family, and you know how cruel family members can be to each other.
I know I’ve said things on here I regret, and I apologize for that, but too often we are just plain mean and ugly with each other.
We sure argue denomination on here a lot, of course each of us think the way the believe is the only way, that’s why we belong to that way of believing. I’d like to see more praise and positive post than trying to convince all that your beliefs are the only way, and you that do that know who you are.
sounds like a bunch of psychobabble hogwash,
nothing a good smack to the back of the head and go back to your seat wont fix.
think thats what we need for in HNI, a good smack to the head for members that get out of line.
sounds like a bunch of psychobabble hogwash, Teresec
The Word is full of wisdom in dealing with difficult children and adults...Solomon doesn't call it hog wash..He calls it wisdom....Here's a few nuggets off the top of my heart..
" A gentle answer turns away wrath."
" Ye which are spiritual restore such a one in the spirit of meekness."
"The wise man studieth how to answer...the fool poureth out foolishness."
" Be wise as serpents and harmless of dove.'
"Overcome evil with good."
"The wisdom from above is peaceable and full of good fruit."
BUT if you have bitter envying and stife in your heart glory not ...AND LIE NOT AGAINST THE TRUTH ..this wisdom cometh not from above but is earthly sensual and devilsh."
I'm sure you have all read these verses..the Word gives us much wisdom on dealing with difficult people..
Chuck, people like that don't stay long on the forum, he's just trying to stir up things. Chad doesn't put up with that for long.
You are 100% correct Rev.
I've not been a regular like you guys but I might suggest that Chucks original thread starter gets to the very heart of dealing with such slurs and attacks and how a Christian might deal with them. Please forgive me chuck if I read too much into your topic. you know best on your own thread but that was on my mind after I read all the posts.
That slurring post might be at step B? what do you think chuck?
Last edited by TexasGulf3; 02-04-2011 at 03:46 PM.
You hit the nail on the head..{ - ; not on the quote you quoted..but to try and get folks to think what we are truly called for and think before they post.
Honestly..on a forum these are not kids..so I can't correct them,,but I can choose which questions / post to advoid..actually the Word tells us which ones to advoid. { -;
I used to get drawn in very easily..and make myself look like a fool..but after about 20,000 post you start growing up..LOL I used to have a very bad anger problem..now..I try to catch myself at the anxiety level...and wait on the Lord..the next 2 levels are basically stemmed from pride. IMHO.
Learned some neat stuff from a C I class.
