The problem is my mother inlaw, she says she a christian ,but loves to interfear with my wife and children, by saying things and doing things. My wife has set up bonjuries that she keeps breaking, so my said she couldn't see them no more, until she said she was sorry. She thinks she didn't do anything wrong and now has some medical problems. To make matters worries my brother inlaw said to my wife she needs to let my mother inlaw see them, but we are tired of being out to be bad guys. My brother inlaw thinks we are being bad christians. Had other people involved but doesn't help. Just triing to protect our family. Are we wrong for doing this? PS Please pray for us, thank yous!
The problem is my mother inlaw, she says she a christian ,but loves to interfear with my wife and children, by saying things and doing things. Whoa..brother..We are all like that.None of us are perfect..I've been a Christian since 1976..and have still made many blunders and in many areas been blind and immature..The Sanctification process is not instantanious..We "Grow up in Him." I would gamble to say that she is a Christian but like the rest of us..she needs to mature in certain areas..none of us will be perfected till we are completely changed..Love / faith beleiveth the best for your mother in law...Love and Faith have no walls ..
My wife has set up bonjuries that she keeps breaking, so my said she couldn't see them no more, until she said she was sorry. I think there is much more here than and you may profit as calhunter has said from a 3rd party..a mature Christian pastor or counselor..
She thinks she didn't do anything wrong and now has some medical problems. None of us think we do anything wrong..I've been right all my life..yet so dreadfully wrong..This situation will only add to the medical problems...No one likes being shunned...
Can you tell us specifically what your mother in law does that offends you?
To make matters worries my brother inlaw said to my wife she needs to let my mother inlaw see them, but we are tired of being out to be bad guys. My brother inlaw thinks we are being bad christians. Had other people involved but doesn't help. Just triing to protect our family. Are we wrong for doing this? PS Please pray for us, thank yous!
Again partner, I really don't know what your mother in law does that warrants you to not allow her to see the kids..or what it is that you need prayer for..
There is not enough information here..
Example ...
Does she sexually abuse the kids?
Does she fill them up on junk food?
Does she hit the kids?
Have them watch in inappropriate media?
Cut thier hair without permission?
Try to convert them to a cult?
Does not watch them good when she keeps them?
Again..not enough info..I've been dealing with behavior modification for the last 19 years { In the classroom} and you have to start with some specific areas that are really bothering you and how frequent do these things happen..and what appropriate behavior would you like to see.
Chuck7 she says thing like they don't need to do what mom and dad says, the Bible doesn't aply to us in todays world, and buying them everything that they don't need. These are just some of the things she does. Did have third party try, but didn't help.
She is definately over stepping her boundaries. Even the mention of the name Christ in the litteral sense is too much for some people to swallow and it's a shame. She needs to cut it out. Still prayin' for you.
Step one..must maintain a peaceful spirit for the cause of Christ..
Step two.I would calmly speak to her about your concerns..
Proverbs says the "Righteous studieth to answer." do nothing rashly my friend..but certianly epress your concerns in a gentle way..
step 3..you and I will be praying about this..very difficult but not impossilbe situation..
Keep us posted..I'm in my classroom so my writing is limited..
God bless,
C7
It is up to you to forgive and love even those who don't seem to deserve either. That being said, you also have a HUGE responsibility to your wife andchildren and must do what you can to keep destructive forces from your house.
My wife has a sister who leaves destruction in her wake whenever she comes into our lives. My wife had been very conflicted between forgiveness & protecting herself & family from her sister's destructive behavior. Ultimately, her responsibilities to her family (meaning the kids & me) outweigh most other things.
You can still love your M-I-L as Christ has instructedyou to do, but you also need to keep peace in your house, regardless of guilt trips from other relatives. Remember, your B-I-L does not live in your house & therefore doesn't have to live with the consequences of your M-I-L's interfering. You and your wife ARE the final authority on how your children are raised.
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A few times that I've had to deal with people crossing boundaries in my house have been resolved when i tell them they don't make the house rules until they pay the mortgage and utilities each month. Most people are not willing to cough up that kind of money just to prove a selfish point.
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Hi everyone. I am the wife of ken3g. He knows I am typing this and will read it before I post it. All that he has said is true but I need to add a few things. When we first got married, I always "ran back home' whenever I had a problem or didn't like what my hubby said, did, etc. I would complain to my parents about things and always listen to them INSTEAD of listening to my hubby. I thought I was doing right at the time since my parents were older and knew more stuff. I would spend money without permission, letour first child do whatever she wanted even if my hubby said no, complain to my hubby about just about everything because I wantedhim to spend all his time with me andour baby, left my mother and sister(mainly mother) tell my daughter that shedidn't have to listen to dad and that she could do things even though dad and mom didn't like it, I would get angry and yell at my hubby because Iwanted things done my way.We have been married 16 years now and forat least the first 10 years, I wasamiserable wife. Obviously I wasn't the greatestChristian wife either which I have learned over the years by actually paying attention in church services and realizingwhat a wife should be and a Christian should be like. I havedone sooooo many bad things in my marriage that I wish that Icould go back in time anddo everything all over again. I knowour life would be sooooomuch better. I know we are not suppose to dwell on the past and I try not to but it's hard to forget the pastbecause Ilive with my faults everyday plusthe hubby reminds me of it even more when he gets angry and yells about it. The kids are tired of hearing the same old yelling matches and so am I but my hubby has ahard time forgetting the past too. I have told my mother in the past few years that she needs to apologize for things she has done and said but she says she hasn't done anything wrong. She is never going to admit to anything so I don't even bother anymore which my hubby thinks I still need to say things to her. He still gets mad at me for not standing up to mymother.All I want is for peacein the family so the grandkids can get to see their grandparents and aunts and uncles on my side of the family. I never got to know my grandparents or relatives because mymother hated just about everyone. My father hated my mom's mother and father so I never got to know them and my mom hated my dad'smother (his father died when my dad wasyoung) so I never got to know her either. My mom wanted us 4 kids only to know her and dad andwanted us never to leave home.She was very controllingover us kids and mydad and still is. She will deny that but it is true. I get angry andyell at my hubby and kidsbut I don'tdo that with myfamily which my hubby doesn't understand and frankly, I don't either. He says it's because I love them more but I say that's nottrue or I would havedivorced him years ago.I have told my hubby 'sorry' sooooo many timesbut he doesn't believe me because he says I still never tell my mother off. I told him already that I will go to my grave knowing that he has never truly forgiven me which makes mecry even now again as I am typing this. I know I'm not the perfect wife and motherthat he would like but noone is perfect except for God.
Inlaw Problems
