my 8 year old son is having issues at school witha bully. my son is scared to go to school because of this kid. it is sad that parents raise their children with no morals, values and respect for other people. i told my son like my dad told me when i was his age " if a fight can not be avoided, land the first punch and try to break his nose!"
my son is very passive, a peace maker so to speak. i'm very thankful that but he has to learn tostand up for himself.
I believe that its okay to stand up for yourself and protect yourself with fists if the time arises. what do yall think?
If your son is to the point of being scared to go to school then you need to step in and call the principal, let him now how your son is feeling and make it clear that this problem be taken care of immediately. My son is 7 and was being bullied on the bus, it made him withdrawn at home crabby and he refused to do his homework, he tried to get out of going to school, then he finally told me what was going on. He was embarressed, so try and handle it in the best way you can. Every childs personality is different, if your son is more of a peacemaker than I would say you need to teach him a method of brains against brawn to avoid the physical altercations. If someone comes after my son and he gets suspended unless he was egging the person onor he threw the first punch he will get no punishment from us. That is just how we handle it though and everyone needs a method that works for them.
my 8 year old son is having issues at school witha bully.I can identify...I was picked on in school my entire life..It's nothing to be proud of but I grown to be the fastest runner in my school.When I became a Christain my fear of people left..I will get in anybodies face..I'm not afraid of anyone.my son is scared to go to school because of this kid. it is sad that parents raise their children with no morals, values and respect for other people. i told my son like my dad told me when i was his age " if a fight can not be avoided, land the first punch and try to break his nose!"That's easy to say...my parents said the same thing...but their is such thing as a 'Spirit of Fear." My heart honestly goes out ot your son...I know what he is going through. He could probably easily take carte of himself but fear can cripple ya. My dad was a step dad and they would laugh when I went home crying everyday. If not for Christ I may have grown up ot b e a sniper killer or something. Running for 22 years can really mess up your head. I learned quickly in the military most folks are 99% bluff and BS.
my son is very passive, a peace maker so to speak. i'm very thankful that but he has to learn tostand up for himself.
I believe that its okay to stand up for yourself and protect yourself with fists if the time arises. what do yall think?
If he's not afraid to stand up for himself ..that is wonderful. When you mentioned bully I got a picture of a little kid running home crying everyday. If that would be the case I would suggest..{From my past childhood}
1. Teach that kid howto fight...
I also boxed alot as a teenager.I loved boxing and wrestling..I put one kid in the hopitall ..knocked his shoulder out of place..BUT even then..if a kid said."I'm goingto kick your butt." I ran home crying..I honestly had terrible fear.
2. Get him in a martial arts program..and see him through it to black belt..
3. Demonstrate and teach that boy about faith..it is only faith that chases fear away..The karate could be a tool that may save his life one day.We are living in a very crazy day..
After years of trying to get the principal to do something about a bunch of bullies, I received a week in detention when I solved the problem. Evidently, the school frowns on it when you break someone's ribs. Good news is...the left me alone after that.
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When it absolutley, positively has to die....30/06
I was also bullied at a young age. My folks just locked me out ofthe house when I ran home and I just had to face my fears. I found out that most bullies are bluffs and can't really handle themselves when they have their hands full of someone that thinks their fighting for their life.
I don't believe what my folks did is the way to go tho as it backfired on them in the end. I simply became a fighter . . .maybe even a bully myself even tho I never preyed on the weak. In the end, I was hurt pretty bad and my folks ended up in trouble with the CID (Long story). My dad put me in martial arts after that and I boxed a little. For me, this helped a lot with agression and self confidence and also gave me a little self disipline.
My son was a timid type also. I enrolled him in martial arts and it helped a little but he soon lost interest in it. I also gave him some bad advice. "Don't start a fight, don't ever back down, and if you get them down make sure they don't get back up."
The problem with my son tho was that he would be pushed, ridiculed, for months on end and he would just take it. A couple of times tho he thought that they were going to seriously hurt him and he would come unglued and would seriously try to hurt. And even after it was broke up he would find a way to get back to them with full intent of causing harm. Even after all the abuse he had taken previously he would be expelled. We're talking 6th grade here and that was his last yr of public school.
Life is full of things that we are uncomfortable dealing with. Admitting that we have wronged a neighbor and making restitution can be a scary thing for a kid. Taking care of your own business without parental help, little things that come up that we often handle for our kids can be confidence building if we let our kids do these things on their own.
These are the things that I did to teach my son to face things. Homeschooling solved many things for the moment but I knew that facing issues in his life would make him more confident in himself.
__________________ And then shall many be offended, and shall betray one another, and shall hate one another.
I think all the advice here is good. I can sympathize with your son as well. I was never picked on by other kids when I was in grade school and by the time jr. high rolled around I was big enough (and more importantly had learned when to shut-up and when walk away) and hadn't made any "enemies" so it was never the target of some kid trying to pick a random fight. HOWEVER, I had a bus driver and some kids in high school that I rode with while in grade school that were bullies. I still remember a pair of fat sisters trying to pick me up by my ears...and a particular bus driver screaming at me (she was fat and ugly too, not trying to be mean...but when you're a little kid those qualities make you all the more scarier) for no reason. I liked school...but dreaded that hour long ride home.
Talk to administration (do go in all huffy, go in out of concern...at least to start out with)
Get him in a martial arts class. (I loved it when I was a kid)
And somehow, very carefully, go ahead and start teaching him on the subject of "there's a time and place for everything under the sun".
My dad NEVER told me to hit or start anything with anyone for ANY reason. It was made perfectly clear that if I got in trouble at school it would be 10X worse at home, regardless of circumstances. However, it was also made clear to me that if I got in trouble for standing up for myself or doing "the right thing"...the punishment would still come, but I wouldn't be frowned upon by my parents. (that's typically much more important to a child than the actual punishment) Looking back I think that's a smart way to do things (for a child with my personality). It let me know that I had liberty to standup...but that I better make sure it was "worth it".
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Anything I say is my opinion, just that...and only that.
"...and what does the Lord require of you, but to do justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with your God?
Stuff like this really makes me glad that I am able to home school my children. My 12 year old son is pushing 6 ft and about 185 lbs. Strong as an Ox but has such a gentle disposition Other kids walk all over him because he is afraid of hurting someone. This last year totally on his own he made up his mind to defend his self with God's word rather than trying to argue and bicker other kids. As a parent when someone verbally redicules your child it is hard. My son's response telling him he loved them anyway and he would pray for them was hard to take at first because the flesh nature rose up in me. Then I realized he was putting God before his self. At that point, I just sent up another silent prayer to God for letting my son stand firmly grounded on the true rock, His Word.
PS the boy is so big because I am 6' 10". I think God might have made him so big just so others would not run over him so much.
I was big enough (and more importantly had learned when to shut-up and when walk away) and hadn't made any "enemies" so it was ne[8D]ver the target of some kid trying to pick a random fight.Soilarch
HEY !! I hope you aren't implying us being bullied were running our mouths..Mine started day one at the bus stop.I said nothing..A bigger kid told this little kid ot beat the Hello out of me..He went to punch me and I ran like the wind..My mom screamed at me for running.From then on the kid would flinch..and i woul drun..Soon everyone starting chasing me..I studdered so bad I wouldn't even try talking.
There was a buge gang of farm boys that terrorized me none stop. once my mom after 1 hour of persuading had me call teh toughest boy and was going ot pay me 5.00 to fight him.She guaranteed me my troubles would be over..I called up Tommy Dvorak..He showed up in the alfafa field with 10 dudes..He tried to tak me out of it becuae he knew it was sudden death.My mom made me call up the
toughest..I was trembling all over. I walked up to him and punched him in the arm..I was about 13..That serious look came over him like I ;m dead.ALL of a sudden his dad screams.GET THE ,,,,, OUT OF THAT ,,, ,,, Field..fight was over ..I was spared. They left me alone for standing up.
Soilarch...not all folks who are picked on run their mouths..Bullies bully because they can...Satan walks around like a roaring lion as well ...that is his nature. All God's children get his hot air..and we are to resist him by faith.
The fish stinks from the head down. I would go unannonced to the bullies house and tell his dad this crap is going to stop today. It will go one of two ways. I can almost gurantee you that bully won't bother your son again. It ticks me off just reading about it. I'll pray for you and your son. Chris
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Arrows and Words. Use them wisely, once released they can't be brought back.
Chris Miles
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The fish stinks from the head down. I would go unannonced to the bullies house and tell his dad this crap is going to stop today. It will go one of two ways. I can almost gurantee you that bully won't bother your son again. It ticks me off just reading about it. I'll pray for you and your son. Chris
AMEN Chris...like I said , ever since I've been a Christian things have changed...We had a gang ising horrible language in front of my house. I yelled at them ..they shot me the bird..The next time the drove by and stopped at a neighbors house..I opened the passenger door and looked the gang leader in the eyes and said..DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM SON!
I stayed in the car till he assured me the crap was going to stop and stop today...God has given me a boldness that I can hardly contain sometimes.
bullies
