#1 the minister at my mothers church (presby) as of lately has seemed to either develope a " I am greater than you so I need not say much to you attitude" or he has lost his flame which once drove this man like no other I have seen. He was exciting, powerful with his words, infectious with his devotion, as friendly as a person could be. How do you approach this. I feel like I should ask him if there are problems that he needs to talk to someone about, but then again there might be problems that aren't my business.
#2 I have a very good freind in which I have helped financially, spiritually and any way he and his family needs. I just found out today that his father that passed away 7 years ago doesnt have a head stone. I have been blessed with so much and am in a place in my life to offer a gift of the head stone for his family and his father. But I don't want to make them feel upset, or worst of all I don't want to make them feel as if I am pushing them to put a stone there, and embarrissing them is definately not in the cards for me. I know they would put one there if they could afford any extra but they just don't have it. What would you do.
I have prayed on both topics but I am still unsure what to do. please any opinion would help.
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Praise GOD, enjoy life, hit hard and often, flash a grin then just walk away!
#1 i would ask, something along the lines of "you just don't seem like yourself lately, is there anything i can help with"
#2 the headstone would show up, no one ever has to know where it came from, i would imagine they would appriciate it.
these are what i would do, i don't mind if someone ask me if i'm alright, and i don't mind asking them if they are alright. to me its just common courtesy, and i have seen a few people leave here that i wish i had asked sooner[&o], being perceptive to things like that can't be anything but a good thing IMO
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John 3:16
things are more like right now than they've ever been
It is our attitude at the beginning of a difficult task which, more than anything else, will affect its successful outcome.
William James
#1 the minister at my mothers church (presby) as of lately has seemed to either develope a " I am greater than you so I need not say much to you attitude" or he has lost his flame which once drove this man like no other I have seen. He was exciting, powerful with his words, infectious with his devotion, as friendly as a person could be. How do you approach this. I feel like I should ask him if there are problems that he needs to talk to someone about, but then again there might be problems that aren't my business. Honestly...since he is your pastor..I woul dsimply pray for him. Honestly brothe rGod answers prayer. God can change the man's mind.I've see it done many times. I beleive prayer alone will help.
#2 I have a very good freind in which I have helped financially, spiritually and any way he and his family needs. I just found out today that his father that passed away 7 years ago doesnt have a head stone. I have been blessed with so much and am in a place in my life to offer a gift of the head stone for his family and his father. But I don't want to make them feel upset, or worst of all I don't want to make them feel as if I am pushing them to put a stone there, and embarrissing them is definately not in the cards for me. I know they would put one there if they could afford any extra but they just don't have it. What would you do. I would pray first...then in God's time make the offer, God bless, C7
#1 the minister at my mothers church (presby) as of lately has seemed to either develope a " I am greater than you so I need not say much to you attitude" or he has lost his flame which once drove this man like no other I have seen. He was exciting, powerful with his words, infectious with his devotion, as friendly as a person could be. How do you approach this. I feel like I should ask him if there are problems that he needs to talk to someone about, but then again there might be problems that aren't my business.
As the son of a pastor,I would offer from my experience, what I thinkyou could consider. Pastors are often put on a 'pedesatl', and are thought to have no needs, no struggles, and to have all of the answers--none of which is true. They are made to feel isolated and estranged from the 'flock' as if they are in some category by themselves. A pastor is gifted, and annointed to preach, but he does not have any special annointing that insulates him from being under attack, having all of the same needs that you and I have.He doesn't have a 'hotline' to God, nor is he privvy to some of the same luxuries that you and I are, meaning that freinds are few and far between because people steer away for many reasons, some of which are obvious, and others not so obvious, theyare held to a higher standard(and I don't mean the requirements of an elder, but to unrealistic ones that are very suffocating), they are expected to have pefect families, model homes, and to show no signs of 'weakness', which in reality are just the normal needs everyone posseses.Everything that he and his family does is placed under undo scrutiny--all of whichadds up t enormous pressures. For you to humbly, and gently approach him as a friend, with real concern for him and his personal welfare, in a loving spirit wil absolutely do him wonders!
#2 I have a very good freind in which I have helped financially, spiritually and any way he and his family needs. I just found out today that his father that passed away 7 years ago doesnt have a head stone. I have been blessed with so much and am in a place in my life to offer a gift of the head stone for his family and his father. But I don't want to make them feel upset, or worst of all I don't want to make them feel as if I am pushing them to put a stone there, and embarrissing them is definately not in the cards for me. I know they would put one there if they could afford any extra but they just don't have it. What would you do.
Just let them know that you would love to help them, and that youi noticed this lack of a stone, and that you wanted tohonor his memory and their family by providing it for them--not so much as 'charity', but moreso as a token of the significance that his life held, and that you would like to see him honored in this way.
These are just my initia responses, and I hope it helps you.
I have prayed on both topics but I am still unsure what to do. please any opinion would help.
#1 the minister at my mothers church (presby) as of lately has seemed to either develope a " I am greater than you so I need not say much to you attitude" or he has lost his flame which once drove this man like no other I have seen. He was exciting, powerful with his words, infectious with his devotion, as friendly as a person could be. How do you approach this. I feel like I should ask him if there are problems that he needs to talk to someone about, but then again there might be problems that aren't my business.Invite him to dinner, let him know how much you appreciate the role he has played in your life and in the church, I am not saying put him up higher but truly speak from your heart and in all honesty.Let him know that you understand that his job is not easy, and that if he ever wants to talk that you are there for him.
#2 I have a very good freind in which I have helped financially, spiritually and any way he and his family needs. I just found out today that his father that passed away 7 years ago doesnt have a head stone. I have been blessed with so much and am in a place in my life to offer a gift of the head stone for his family and his father. But I don't want to make them feel upset, or worst of all I don't want to make them feel as if I am pushing them to put a stone there, and embarrissing them is definately not in the cards for me. I know they would put one there if they could afford any extra but they just don't have it. What would you do.
These are tough ones.Be completelyopen about this to them. Let them know thatChrist has impressed it on your heart to help them with their fathers head stone, let them know that you didn't want to step on any toes and didn't want to just donate it anonymously because youwanted them to pick out for themselves. Or you may be able to go to the company write a check and have them mail a letter saying that someone has given X amount of dollars for _________(his dad's name) If it is something that they will be willing to do this will also give all the glory to God because his name would be the only one that they would have to give thanks for. And since you know them you could type a letter to be mailed to them so that it is sensitive to their needs and feelings.
I will be praying for you and them as well, and just remember God will work this all out, if you let Him.
I have prayed on both topics but I am still unsure what to do. please any opinion would help.
Since he is a pastor, there is abilities I expect out of him. One to be able to take information straight between the eyes. I wouldnt' dil dally around. I would express my concerns with pure love. If he gets defensive, and blows you off, you can expect that. It may be just your perception of this guy. Next time someone approaches him, it might make him think.
The pastor is a man, He is a man who is called by God to serve and to feed the flock. He is still a man, he is not without sin and struggles. I have several friends who are pastors. They still have real life struggles like everyone else. Instead of always expecting a blessing from them, try being a blessing to them. Offer to help hold them up in prayer, Offer to help them by sharing the load. When a man is down, it is not the time to KICK. It is the time to reach down and help lift him up.
Contrary to popular belief JESUS NEVER SAID SHOOT THE WOUNDED!!!!!!!
Christians a lot of times have one standard they expect for sinners<the easy ones to forgive> One for fellow christians <THE HARD ONE TO FORGIVE> and one for Pastors <the impossible ones to forgive or have hard times>
Reach out to him brother, God will bless you because of it and Your actions could be a blessing to both of you.
The head stone would show up.......... Put one more treasure layed up where your heart is in heaven.
Well I did it. Here's how I handled it.
#1 I spoke the the pastor the only way I knew how to. I clearly stated my observation and then I told him that even though he may be held at a higher standard than most, He is still a MAN. And sometimes men need friends. So as a friend I am offering myself to you for what ever you may need. Well we talked for several minutes ( actually about an hour and a half) and he told me whatwas on his mind. He is suffering from some minor health issues and didn't want to burden anyone with them, so he kept it between him and GOD. He expressed relief that he was able to get it out to someone and I promised that I would not discuss his problems with anyone else. He thanked me, and then I asked him if for once we would let some one pray for him. So we did. He seems more at ease. after that It was like i was slammed with the answer to the headstone problem. I went to a friend of mine who engraves headstones. I asked if I could purchase one but that I would like someone else to decide what was on it. He agreed. So I went to my friend's house, asked him to gather his family together and I presented them with an early Christmas present. And I told them this. " I would like to honor Your father, father in law and grandfather, by placing a headstone on his grave site. He honored me with the life he lead which made it possible for life to all of you, who I hold dear to my heart. I know if the tables were turned you all would do the same for me. But I would appreciate it if this family decided as a whole what was to be written on the stone." each and every one of them thanked me ( not exactly why was I was doing thisbut it was nice.) So i truely thinkGod answered me with the wisdom to answer my questions. Thank you all for your input.
__________________
Praise GOD, enjoy life, hit hard and often, flash a grin then just walk away!
ORIGINAL: manuman
As the son of a pastor,I would offer from my experience, what I thinkyou could consider. Pastors are often put on a 'pedesatl', and are thought to have no needs, no struggles, and to have all of the answers--none of which is true. They are made to feel isolated and estranged from the 'flock' as if they are in some category by themselves. A pastor is gifted, and annointed to preach, but he does not have any special annointing that insulates him from being under attack, having all of the same needs that you and I have.He doesn't have a 'hotline' to God, nor is he privvy to some of the same luxuries that you and I are, meaning that freinds are few and far between because people steer away for many reasons, some of which are obvious, and others not so obvious, theyare held to a higher standard(and I don't mean the requirements of an elder, but to unrealistic ones that are very suffocating), they are expected to have pefect families, model homes, and to show no signs of 'weakness', which in reality are just the normal needs everyone posseses.Everything that he and his family does is placed under undo scrutiny--all of whichadds up t enormous pressures. For you to humbly, and gently approach him as a friend, with real concern for him and his personal welfare, in a loving spirit wil absolutely do him wonders!
it's been my experience,that the pedestal was placed under them @ Bible College/Seminary...they leave believing they are above..that their calling is superior to others...that they"KNOW" more about God than anyone who hasn't attended... which is utter nonsense. it's the Spirit who teaches, not a Professor(altho they CAN be used, just like Balaams' donkey)...God needs a humble spirit to work with,not an ego....I realize many enter into the ministry,believing they are called...but my Bible says" many are called,few are chosen"... seems thatmany just come today.
as for feeling estranged, I've known MANY Pastors..and would TRUST maybe 2 or 3..THAT'S why they feel estranged.most have PROVEN themselves untrustworthy...
as for the criteria for a minister, it's plainly laid out in scripture, and no amount of "humanism excuses" relaese them from that criteria...it was written" where much is given, much is expected"... it clearly stat3s the requirements.. GOD"S requirements, not mans'....and it states how a Elder/leader of the church is expected to manage his family...and they ARE held to a HIGHER STANDARD...which includes public scrutiny( or avoiding it rather...)
from which there are huge Blessings for living by those standards. Many Pastors today cannot meet them,and just maybe that's why His church is decaying..... it DOES start at the top.
here's a thought on the headstone...buy it,set it,be quiet about it...andsee God Bless you for it.
Well I did it. Here's how I handled it.
#1 I spoke the the pastor the only way I knew how to. I clearly stated my observation and then I told him that even though he may be held at a higher standard than most, He is still a MAN. And sometimes men need friends. So as a friend I am offering myself to you for what ever you may need. Well we talked for several minutes ( actually about an hour and a half) and he told me whatwas on his mind. He is suffering from some minor health issues and didn't want to burden anyone with them, so he kept it between him and GOD. He expressed relief that he was able to get it out to someone and I promised that I would not discuss his problems with anyone else. He thanked me, and then I asked him if for once we would let some one pray for him. So we did. He seems more at ease. after that It was like i was slammed with the answer to the headstone problem. I went to a friend of mine who engraves headstones. I asked if I could purchase one but that I would like someone else to decide what was on it. He agreed. So I went to my friend's house, asked him to gather his family together and I presented them with an early Christmas present. And I told them this. " I would like to honor Your father, father in law and grandfather, by placing a headstone on his grave site. He honored me with the life he lead which made it possible for life to all of you, who I hold dear to my heart. I know if the tables were turned you all would do the same for me. But I would appreciate it if this family decided as a whole what was to be written on the stone." each and every one of them thanked me ( not exactly why was I was doing thisbut it was nice.) So i truely thinkGod answered me with the wisdom to answer my questions. Thank you all for your input.
That's great I'm glad that it all turned out in the Glory of God. Will pray for you, your church family, and friends.
two questions for you all
