Not sure how to start this post so i'll start at the beginning but keep it as short as I can.. I havea Soldier that has been under me for about 2 years. he has never been a great Soldier but not horrible either. He has always come to me with any problems that he has, job related and personal. As i continued working with him and listening to him talk, it was obvious that he wasn't a Christian. In fact he told me he wasn't. He did say that his mother was and he couldn't stand to talk to her becasue she always tried to preach to him. It was clear that he was a raging alcoholic when one night he got in a fight at the barracks while drunk and tried to kill another Soldier with a broom handle and not remembering any of it the next day as he sat in jail.
He has talked tome about his long list of problems from childhood until now, depression, alcoholism, drug addiction, pornography.... alot with what the country deals with everyday. (sad but true)
I have opened my home to him to come and talk when ever he needed, he has my personal cell #, i've given up a lot of personal time to talk to him, too many to count and remember. Most of the time that I am talking to him I quote Bible scriptures and show him how it relates to his problems. Even once I took him to church and I thought he might have had a break through. I have done all that I knew to do as far as getting him medical attention from mental health doctors.
After his fight at the barracks he was ordered to a mental/drug dependancy hospital in a near by town for 32 days. While there I visited as often as I could bringing snacks and talking the word of God to him, I even gave a new Bible. This all happened in March of this year. His ETS date (end time of service) is this november. He came out of the hospital i thought a different person. He was free from alcohol until 2 weeks ago. I dont know what happened, it was like he snapped. He started threatening female NCO's, blaming the Army for his mental condition and stress, refusing to do his duties, disobeying direct orders and the funny thing after all this... he says that he is the only Soldier in our unit that does anywork and knows how to do it. He has blamed me and others in the chain of command for not helping him and refusing to listen to him. About two weeks ago he received his counseling statement for deralection of duties. After our NCOIC finished reading it he disrespectfully said, " give me a dishonorable discgarge because I'm finished with this****". At that moment and to this day, I have a problem with him! I have thought to myself that he is as worthless a human being as they come.after what ihave done all for himhe throws it back into my face.
I know that I have to forgive, but I am struggling. I dont want these feelings but when I see him, I want to knock his teeth down his throat.
I have asked God for forgiveness, prayed for this man and for myfeelings. What if anysuggestions do you brothers and sisters have to help me to get the feelings that I have for him away from my mind?
#1 He's not right in the head and really needs some serious help, that you're just not qualified to give. No harm there, it's simply beyond you to help. I've tried to help people in the past and had to admit to myself that they needed someone better than me. That's a hard thing for me to admit sometimes, but the reality is there.
#2 He really is a worthless, thankless, sorry individual, and one you probably shouldn't hang around much, because those types of folks tend to get you dirty by just being around you. The end result is the same.....you tried and it didn't work.
In either case, you did what you could. Sometimes you have to realize that Jesus is often referred to as the Master Physician, for a reason.
Matthew 25:37 "œThen the righteous will answer Him, saying, "˜Lord, when did we see You hungry and feed You, or thirsty and give You drink? 38 When did we see You a stranger and take You in, or naked and clothe You? 39 Or when did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?"™ 40 And the King will answer and say to them, "˜Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me."™
Pray for him, and hope for the best.
GH
__________________
I love animals.......they' re delicious!
Dk- there is a difference between forgiving- and wanting someone out of the Army. It appears he is realling terrible for moral- we had a few like that when I was still on active duty (and one wound up a NCO of the year a few years later) I agree with grasshopper's assewsment. Sometimes it is in God's hand. Even Jesus had some who turned their backs and walked away because they "could not follow him"!
__________________
If you can read this- thank a teacher; if your reading it in English- thank a soldier..." Unknown
"We dedicate our training so that our enemy may have the chance to die for his country." John Baxley
wow hammer sounds as if you have gone above and beyond the call of duty, i am thinking along the same lines as the previous posters, i would let him know how you felt and that you will help him if you can within reason, but the sad fact of the matter is some folks have a deeper "bottom out" point than others, i have a sister that has been out, i told her she can come by or call anytime she needs to, but that she is not to call while she is using, tough love??? maybe, not sure, i have just decided that she has stolen enough of my time while she's high, to me she is wallowing in self-pity and the whole world is against her, well enough of my story, i will pray for you and the young man, that is for sure a tough situation, but look at him as one of your kids, you will always love your kids, but you don't have to love thier behaivior, in time maybe he'll make the turn, you've laid the groundwork
good luck with the situation, and keep praying on it, keith
__________________
John 3:16
things are more like right now than they've ever been
It is our attitude at the beginning of a difficult task which, more than anything else, will affect its successful outcome.
William James
#1 He's not right in the head and really needs some serious help, that you're just not qualified to give. No harm there, it's simply beyond you to help. I've tried to help people in the past and had to admit to myself that they needed someone better than me. That's a hard thing for me to admit sometimes, but the reality is there.
Pray for him, and hope for the best.
GH
My thoughts also!
__________________
Jesus said, "he who stands firm to the end will be saved" Mark 13:13.
Live Life in such a way that those who do not know Christ will come to know Him because they know you
WOW sounds a little like me when I was in the military. I praise God for your working with him.You certainly did much more than most.
Back when I was in if you didn't make E2 in 12 months you were out. I had similiar problems and was locked up in CCF{ Correctional Custody Facility}for 7 days for being drunk on guard duty. When I was told my papers for a dishonorable were being considered I was greatly ashamed. This fellow doesn't seem ashamed. I also began reading my New Testament which eventually got me saved. I was given 3 promotions and ended up getting an Honorable Discharge. This poor fellow has no idea what an ugly stain that would be to be dishonorably discharged.
Prayer is more powerful than most people think. I would continue ot pray for him because...
1.It's hard to have ill feelings toward someone you are praying for.
This benefits you.
2.God has brought him in your life...maybe more for your sake than his.
3.God does answer prayer....that is a fact.....in His time
4.Pray for God's wisdom in dealing with him...you've been doing a superb job and remember "Your labour of love is not in vain."
God bless my brother
C7
Trouble with forgiving
) I agree with grasshopper's assewsment. Sometimes it is in God's hand. Even Jesus had some who turned their backs and walked away because they "could not follow him"!
, in time maybe he'll make the turn, you've laid the groundwork
