DIVORCE

brknarrow · 06-19-2006, 04:22 PM

Whats your thoughts on divorce and church participation, or what you can and cannot participate in at church being divorced. You guessed it I'm divorced and remarried and sort of feel I'm looked down upon at church by some people. My x wife left me for another man thats why the divorce happened . I' am aborn again christian, same as my wife. please let me here from you, this has me knocked down a bit. Thanks

Rebel Hog · 06-19-2006, 04:33 PM

Quote:

ORIGINAL: brknarrow

Whats your thoughts on divorce and church participation, or what you can and cannot participate in at church being divorced. You guessed it I'm divorced and remarried and sort of feel I'm looked down upon at church by some people. My x wife left me for another man thats why the divorce happened . I' am aborn again christian, same as my wife. please let me here from you, this has me knocked down a bit. Thanks

Are you Catholic?

txjourneyman · 06-19-2006, 04:41 PM

I'm also divorced and remarried. Those who judge me for my past need my prayers and understanding. Its not me that needs for them to understand. I think about St. Francis and his prayer, "It is better to love than to be loved...etc". I have a VERY checkered past that includes time in prison. Most of the members of my church are aware of this. They are also aware that I have asked Christ to be my Lord and Savior. Most but not all of them love and accept me for who I am today. And make no mistake, I am a different person. Those who cannot or will not accept me or forgive me due to my past are in my prayers. Try praying for those who may look down their noses at you.

06-19-2006, 04:45 PM

Quote:

ORIGINAL: brknarrow

Whats your thoughts on divorce and church participation, or what you can and cannot participate in at church being divorced. You guessed it I'm divorced and remarried and sort of feel I'm looked down upon at church by some people. My x wife left me for another man thats why the divorce happened . I' am aborn again christian, same as my wife. please let me here from you, this has me knocked down a bit. Thanks

Same exact boat here. I don't like it, but have accepted the fact that in my church, being an elder is out of the question. I understand why and understand the scripture.I just don't like to have doors shut for me. But its God's commands. At least for me. But thats just being a church leader. I still can help with ministries, grounds upkeep, or even start a ministry. For me, the meaning of that scripture is I can't be an "elder" or "deacon" or "pastor".

Leafrivermac · 06-19-2006, 04:49 PM

Hey Brknarrow. IMO first we are going to have to accept the fact that this (the divorse) is a fact of our lives. Then we have to realize that the church is fighting hard to uphold the institution of marriage in which there is one woman for one man . . .forever.
Some churches set standards for their deacons, etc, (Biblically supported) and the divorced can feel somewhat cut off. Churches vary as to how the divorced are incorperated into the various positions of the church . . .ranging to both ends of the spectrum.
From my perspective . . .as I also have experianced divorse, divorce is a terrible thing, and even tho we can recieve forgivness for our part in it, it is going to be pubic record for the rest of our lives. We'll prolly have to deal with stigma the rest of our lives . . .IMO rightfully so. I am fortunate to be a part of a church that will, in some cases, use a divorced idividual to some larger extent than the church I once attended.
I can't say that it hasn't ever bothered me . . . .I think it's more the fact that I do have a divorse in my life, more so than the churches views on divorced individuals. I tend to submit to whatever church I'm in over this issue and if I'm invited to some work in the church then so much the better.

Rebel Hog · 06-19-2006, 05:07 PM

Separation and divorce are among life's most difficult and painful experiences. You need the help and encouragement of others as you attempt to heal and restore balance to your life. A DivorceCare group is a special place of encouragement, information and sharing. DivorceCare groups meet weekly, providing you with an ongoing "support team" as you deal with the issues surrounding your separation or divorce.
Does your church have one?

The Rev · 06-19-2006, 05:18 PM

Quote:

ORIGINAL: brknarrow

Whats your thoughts on divorce and church participation, or what you can and cannot participate in at church being divorced. You guessed it I'm divorced and remarried and sort of feel I'm looked down upon at church by some people. My x wife left me for another man thats why the divorce happened . I' am aborn again christian, same as my wife. please let me here from you, this has me knocked down a bit. Thanks

Well Bro sounds like you've gone on with your life and it seems to be fine. Divorce is very biblical too. If she left and committed adultery she you reason to put her away.. If your having problems at church, then they are the ones with a problem. I would pray for God to see whatHe would have you do in that certain situation... Too many Churches are way off base in that area..
For that very reason, I am non-denominational.. But you ask God what He would have you do. We can rant and rave all day long, we don't know your situation or your church.
Bob <><

Chuck7 · 06-19-2006, 05:55 PM

The post is very dear to me as well. I'll make it short and sweet. I came here to go to Bible school. About 3 months later my wife makes me promice thatI won't freak if she tells me something . I promiced. She said."I've been sleeping with my boss for weeks now." I was physical , spiritually and mentally sick. I could have died. I was going to school to be a pastor and the Assembly of God at that time did not compromise on it. If I remarried I could never be a pastor. My wife held 1 Cor. 7 over my head and said when she was done fooling around I had to take her back.."It's biblical" she said. The affair went through other men and the whole ordeal lasted for about 1 year.

I saw the scriptures about living in adultery andI was greatly concerned. The guilt and condemnation ate me up . Then I fasted for a couple days to get one straight answer from God. Like the women in John 8 we are dead caught in sin .We are worthy of death. We should never judge another man or women for if we make it into the Kingdom of God it will be purely by GRACE. And with that ..God laid this verse on my heart which I will never forget.
James 2;12 Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom, 13because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment!

From that point on I began striving to live by the mercy that triumps over judgement.

Matthew 9:12 On hearing this, Jesus said, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. 13 But go and learn what this means: 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.'[a] For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners."

brknarrow · 06-19-2006, 06:05 PM

Are you Catholic?
No Reb I'm not Catholic. I go to an Independant Baptist church. At this church you can't even teach Sunday school. And untill the last members voting meeting, you could not even play an instrument during the service. If you were divorced. I have not a problem with what God says, Its the man made laws I have a problem with. Other than this I really like the church . I'm fed there , I just feel their off a little on the divorce thing

Rebel Hog · 06-19-2006, 06:14 PM

Quote:

ORIGINAL: brknarrow

Are you Catholic?
No Reb I'm not Catholic. I go to an Independant Baptist church. At this church you can't even teach Sunday school. And untill the last members voting meeting, you could not even play an instrument during the service. If you were divorced. I have not a problem with what God says, Its the man made laws I have a problem with. Other than this I really like the church . I'm fed there , I just feel their off a little on the divorce thing

I'm Independent Baptist also, but the only things that are not accepted is being an Elder, Deacon or Pastor.

EDIT: We also have a DivorceCare group.