what should i say?

[Unclezege]

Hi everyone,
I've been reading this forum for 5 or 6 years now and I used to be registered but I havent signed on in years. I just created a new account today because I have a question that Im sure some of you may help me answer. Im someone who only gets by because of my faith. If I didnt have faith I dont know what Id do. My girlfriend on the other hand has lost all faith in God. I just found out why the other day and I literally have no idea what to say. The last thing she wants to here is just to have faith. Her life has been really hard since she was a kid. Her dad was an addict, beaten by previous boyfriends, raped,mom kicked her out, hooked on pills, and just imagine the worst things a girl could go through and its happened to her. This was all so shocking to me because she is such a sweet girl and now I can see why she doesnt have any faith left.She feels like God hastotally abandonedher and she doesntpray because she said he's never answered her prayers and he let all of those bad things happen to her and her family.What should I say to encourage her? It just kills me to see someone I care about so much go through living life without knowing God. Are there any versesthat can help? Thanks. It means a lot to me.

[gogiggen]

I had written this for someone else on this forum, but it also applies here:

here is a look at what the Bible has to say about suffering: Job.

Job was a very prosperous man, he had 10 children, many animals, and was 'blameless, upright, and God-fearing,' the Bible says "the greatest man in the east," referring to what God thought of him.

Job 2
1(A)Again there was a day when the sons of God came to present themselves before the LORD, and Satan also came among them to present himself before the LORD.

2The LORD said to Satan, "Where have you come from?" Then Satan answered the LORD and said, "From roaming about on the earth and walking around on it."

3The LORD said to Satan, "Have you considered My servant Job? For there is no one like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man fearing God and turning away from evil. And he still (B)holds fast his integrity, although you incited Me against him to ruin him without cause."

4Satan answered the LORD and said, "Skin for skin! Yes, all that a man has he will give for his life.

5"(C)However, put forth Your hand now, and (D)touch his bone and his flesh; he will curse You to Your face."

6So the LORD said to Satan, "Behold, he is in your power, only spare his life."

--God brought up Job; a righteous, God fearing man.--

If you read on Job is attacked first by all of his children being killed, his family, then his earthly prosperity-wealth in livestock.
But Job will not curse God, saying 'God has blessed me, and He has the right to take away.'
So satan goes back to God and God give satan permission to attack Jobs flesh. Job still will not be broken, even after his own wife curses God. Later on we see that Job is depressed and distressed, needing help from his friends, who in turn spite God.
Job still will not give in, he fears God and shuns evil.

Most of the book is dialogue with Jobs friends, until God speaks and reveals that He is the Great Creator and has complete authority......Its not about why, its about who He is!!!

God gets angry at Jobs friends for they did not speak right of God, and Job is their only way to escape the wrath of God. Job does intercede and saves his friends, shows forgiveness.
In return for Jobs repentance and faithfulness, God restores Jobs health, a new family, and his fortunes two-fold.

As we can see through all of this God has tested a righteous man, to make him stronger.
Its all right there in the Bible in the book of Job, you can read it for yourself. But God tests those who are righteous for their own good.

James says about suffering in James 1:2-7...."2Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. 6But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; 8he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does."

If you can see through all of this that God tested Job to make him stronger; remember that God brought up Job, not satan. God tests the righteous. I think you ought to try to share this with your girlfriend, show her in the Bible that God does this for a reason. I will pray for you and your girlfriend that she might see that this is all part of the Creators plan.

[Goose 11]

Hey Unclezege,

Welcome back. This is a cut & paste from the Apologetics Press web-site. They are awesome at meeting the challenges anyone might throw out there aboiut not haveing faith! Check out their web site at:http://apologeticspress.org/

And the link to the actual book that i took this exerpt from is:http://apologeticspress.org/pdfs/e-b...many_faces.pdf

I know it is long and wordy, but I am confident it will help you to be able to help her. God bless you in your study.

Trae

EVIL, PAIN, AND SUFFERING

Surely it can be said without fear of contradiction that one

of themostfrequent,andthusoneof themostimportant, causes of unbelief is the existence of evil, pain, and suffering in the world. But before we explore this concept, let us take a momentary diversion to separate the

genuine problem from the counterfeit.Whenan individual claims not to believe in God because of the problem of evil, pain, and suffering, the person making such a claim may mean something entirely different than what the person hearing the claim thinks he means. Allow me to explain.

Admittedly, some people have difficulty believing inGod

because of what they consider to be

real intellectual obstacles to such a belief. Ex nihilo creation, a virgin birth, or the bodily resurrection of Christ from the dead cause some to consider belief inGodonpar with belief in theToothFairy or Santa Claus. Such concepts represent insurmountable barriers to the ultimate acceptance of God"™s existence.

Other people, however, face no such intellectual obstacles.

Instead, they simplydonot want to have to deal with the

issue of the ultimate existence of a transcendent God. Their refusal to believe is not based necessarily on "œthis"� barrier or "œthat"� barrier. Rather, belief inGodsimply is inconvenient at best, or bothersome at worst. In a chapter titled "œWhatKeeps People fromBecoming Christians?"� in his timely book,

Intellectuals Don"™t Need God, Alister McGrath exerted considerable effort in an attempt to separate the claims of these two types of individuals when he wrote:

"œI could never be a Christian because of the problem

of suffering"� can mean two quite different things: (a)

Having thought the matter through carefully, itseems

to me that there is a real problem posed to the intellectual

coherence of the Christian faith because of

the existence of human suffering; (b) I don"™t want to

get involved in a discussion about Christianity, which

could get very personal and threatening. But I don"™t

want to admit this, as it might seem to imply that I

lack intellectual courage, stamina, or honesty. I can

save face by letting it be understood that there are

good grounds for my rejection of Christianity. So let

me select a problem...suffering will do very nicely.

Anyway, it will stall the efforts of this guy who"™s trying

to convert me.

For some, then, throwing intellectual problems at the

Christian evangelist is like a warplane ejecting flares

to divert heat-seeking missiles. It is a decoy meant to

divert a deadly attack. But intellectual difficulties nevertheless

constitute a real problem for some people,

and answers must be given to their difficulties (1993,

pp. 64-65, ellipsis in orig.).

It is notmyintention in this section to deal with those in the second category who use the problem of evil, pain, and suffering merely as a ruse to hide theirowncowardice in the face of overwhelming evidence regarding the existence of God.

Likely, no evidence ever could convince them. They fall into

the same category asGoethe, who said: "œA voice from heavenwouldnot

convince me...that awomangives birth without

knowing man, and that a dead man rises from the grave"� (as

quoted in Smith, 1974, p. 175). Rather, I would like to discuss

the unbelief of those who fall into the first category"”i.e., peoplewhoview

the co-existence ofGod and moral evil as an intellectual

inconsistency that is incapable of being solved. Their

number is legion, and their tribe is increasing.

For example, consider the following assessments offered

bya variety of writers that runs the gamut from aNobel laureate

to a former well-known televangelist. TheNobel laureate

is StevenWeinberg, author of

Dreams of a Final Theory, which includes a chapter titled"œWhatAboutGod?"�Within that chapter these comments can be found.

I have to admit that sometimes nature seems more

beautiful than strictly necessary. Outside the window

of my home office there is a hackberry tree, visited

frequently bya convocation of politic birds: blue jays,

yellow-throated vireos, and, loveliest of all, an occasional

red cardinal. Although I understand pretty well

how brightly colored feathers evolved out of a competition

for mates, it is almost irresistible to imagine

that all this beauty was somehow laid on for our benefit.

But the God of birds and treeswould have to

be also the God of birth defects and cancer

....

Remembrance of theHolocaust leaves me unsympathetic

toattempts to justify thewaysofGodtoman.

If there is a God that has special plans for humans,

thenHe has taken very great pains to hide

His concern for us

(1993, pp.250-251,emp.added).

The former well-known televangelist is Charles B.Templeton,

a high school dropout who, according to one writer, has

"œthe natural flare and fluidity of a salesman"� (Lockerbie, 1998,

p. 228). He served for many years as the pulpit minister for

theAvenueRoad Church (Toronto, Ontario, Canada) where

his ubiquitous "œYouth for Christ"� rallies in the late 1940s were

extremely popular. Eventually he became a world-renowned

evangelist with the BillyGrahamCrusade. Then, one day, he

quit.He abandoned it all"”not just the BillyGrahamCrusade,

but belief inGod, belief in Christ, belief in the Bible, belief in heaven"”everything!He explained why in his book,

Farewell to God.

I was ridding myself of archaic, outdated notions. I

was dealing with life as it is. There would be an end to

asking the deity for his special interventions on my

behalf because I was one of the family.... If there is a

loving God, why does he permit"”much less create"”

earthquakes, droughts, floods, tornadoes, and other

natural disasters which kill thousands of innocent

men, women, and children every year? How can a

loving, omnipotent God permit"”much less create"”

encephalitis, cerebral palsy, brain cancer, leprosy,

Alzheimer"™s and other incurable illnesses to afflict

millions of men, women, and children, most ofwhom

are decent people? (1996, pp. 221,230).

Almost a decade-and-a-half earlier, B.C. Johnson had given

expression to the same kinds of concerns in

The Atheist Debater"™s

Handbook

.

Ahouse catches on fire and six-month-old baby is

painfully burnedto death.Couldwepossiblydescribe

as "œgood"� any person who had the power to save this

child and yet refused to do so?God undoubtedly has

the power and yet... he has refused to help. Can we

call God "œgood"�? (1983, p. 99).

It is notmyintention here to provide an in-depth response

to these (or similar) accusations. These matters have been

dealt with elsewhere in detail (see: Jackson, 1988; Major, 1998;

Thompson, 1990, 1993; Thompson and Jackson, 1992). Instead,

I merely would like to document the role that evil, pain,

andsuffering have played,andstill continue to play, as an important

cause of man"™s unbelief.

Many have been those who, through the ages, have abandoned

their belief inGodbecause of the presence of evil, pain,

and suffering in their lives or in the lives of those close to them.

Earlier, I documented how, in 1851, Charles Darwin abandoned

once and for all any vestige of belief in God after the

death of his oldest daughter, Annie (seeDesmondandMoore,

1991, pp. 384,386-387). But Darwin was not the only one so

affected. Nine years later, on September 15, 1860, Thomas

Huxley was to watch his oldest son, four-year-old Noel, die

in his arms from scarlet fever. In their massive, scholarly biography,

Darwin

,Desmond andMoore wrote thatNoel"™s death

brought Huxley "œ...to the edge of a breakdown. Huxley tried

to rationalize the "˜holy leave-taking"™ as he stood over the body,

with its staring blue eyes and tangled golden hair,

but the

tragedy left a deep scar

"� (1991, p. 503, emp. added).

AtNoel"™s funeral, the minister briefly referred to 1 Corinthians

15:14-19 in his eulogy. When he quoted the passage

from that section of Scripture which mentions, "œif the dead

be not raised,"� Huxley was outraged. Eight days afterNoel"™s

death, on September 23, he wrote to his close friend, Charles

Kingsley, about the minister"™s words: "œI cannot tell you how

inexpressibly they shocked me. [The preacher"”

BT] had neither

wife nor child, or he must have known that his alternative

involved a blasphemy against all that was best and noblest

in human nature. I could have laughed with scorn"� (see

Leonard Huxley, 1900, 1:151-152). In the equally scholarly

(and equally massive) companion biography that he authored,

Huxley,

Adrian Desmond wrote of the man known as "œDarwin"™s

Bulldog"� on the day of his son"™s death:

He sat in the study facing the tinybody. His emotions

were unleashed as he looked back to thatNewYear"™s

Eve 1856, when he had sat at the same desk and

pledged on his son"™s birth to give "œa new and healthier

direction to all Biological Science."�He had found

redemption on his son"™s death. There was no blame,

only submission to Nature

, and that brought its own

catharsis (1997, p. 287, emp. added).

"œSubmission toNature"�becameHuxley"™s watchword.Belief

inGod"”however feeble it may have been prior toNoel"™s

death"”now had evaporated completely. All that remained

was to give "œa new and healthier direction to all Biological

Science."� And so it was to "œNature"� that Huxley devoted the

remainder of his life.

But not all such events have occurred in centuries long since

gone.Modern-day parallels abound. Samuel Langhorne Clemens

(a.k.a. MarkTwain) became implacably embittered against

God after the death, in 1896, of his favorite daughter, Suzy.

Famed English novelist,W. Somerset Maugham, recounted

in his autobiography,

The Summing Up, how that as a youngster

he had prayed to God one night that he might be delivered

from the terrible speech impediment that afflicted him.

The next day he arose, only to find that the impediment stil

was present. So profound was his grief and disappointment

at the failure ofGod to cure him overnight that from that point

forward he pledged never to believe in God again.

In the mid-1960s, a devoutly religious young man from

Chattanooga,Tennessee, was a role model for all of his classmates.

He led a prayer group, and planned to become a foreign

missionary"”until his sister died of leukemia and his father

committed suicide. The boy"™s belief in God collapsed,

and he subsequently became one of America"™s most outspoken

unbelievers, humanists, and pro-abortion advocates. That

boy"™s name?"”TedTurner, founder of world-famous

CNN, the

Turner Broadcasting System, and other well-known media

enterprises.

But, of course, it is not just the famous who abandon their

belief inGodbecause of evil, pain,andsuffering in their lives.

The "œman (or woman, as the case may be) on the street"� is no

less affected. A case in point is that of Judith Hayes, a senior

writer for

The American Rationalist. In 1996, Mrs. Hayes

authored an acrimonious tirade titled,

In GodWe Trust: But

Which One?

, in which she explained why she left the Lutheran

Church (Missouri Synod) and became an atheist. First, as a

youngster she had a good friend named Susan who was a devout

Buddhist. Judith, however, simply could not accept the

teachings of Scripture that Susan would be lost if she did not

obey the biblical schemeof redemption set forth so plainly in

God"™sWord. Thus she made, not a rational decision based

upon the evidence, but an emotional decision based on her

own "œinner desires."� Neither Christianity, she said, nor its

God, could be accepted as true.

Second, Judith eventually married. But the relationship

soured anddisintegrateddueto the fact, Mrs.Hayesreported,

that her husband became verbally abusive. Instead of considering

the possibility that

she had made a poor choice of

mates, or that

her husband had misused his own personal

freedom of choice, Judith blamedGod. "œ[H]ow could I possibly

have wound up married to a tyrant?,"� she wrote. "œWhy

had God forsaken me?"� (1996, p. 15).

Again, time and space would fail me were I to attempt

merely to enumerate, much less discuss, all those who have

abandoned belief inGod because of evil, pain, and suffering

in their lives or in the lives of those close to them. But what

shall we say in regard to their accusations against their Creator?

Howshall we respond to their recalcitrant charge that"”

as a result of such epidemic, universal suffering"”unbelief in

God is both justifiable and justified?

Briefly, I would like to respond as follows. At the end of

His six days of creation (Genesis 1:31),God surveyed all that

He had made, and proclaimed it "œvery good"� (Hebrew terminology

representing that which was both complete and

perfect). Pestilence, disease, and death among humans were

unknown.Man existed in an idyllic paradise of happiness

and beauty where he shared such an intimate and blissful

covenant relationship with his Maker that God came to the

garden "œin the cool of the day"� to commune with its human

inhabitants(Genesis 3:8).Additionally,Genesis 3:22 records

that man had continual access to the tree of life that stood in

the garden, the fruit of whichwouldallowhimto live forever.

The peacefulness and tranquility of the first days of humanity

were not to prevail, however. In Genesis 3"”in fewer

words than an average sportswriter would use to discuss a

high school football game"”Moses, through inspiration, discussed

the breaking of the covenant relationship betweenman

and God, the entrance of sin into the world, and the curse(s)

that resulted therefrom. When our original parents revolted

against their Creator, evil entered the world.Moses informs

us that as a direct consequence of human sin, the Earth was

"œcursed"� (Genesis 3:17). Paul, in Romans 8:19-20, declared

that the entire creation was subjected to "œvanity"� and the

"œbondage of corruption"� as a result of the sinful events that

took place inEden on that occasion. Things apparently deteriorated

rapidly. Just three chapters later, Moses wrote:

AndJehovahsawthat thewickednessofmanwasgreat

in the earth,andthat every imagination of the thoughts

of his heart was only evil continually. And it repented

Jehovah that he had made man on the earth, and it

grievedhimat his heart.AndJehovahsaid, "œI willdestroy

man whom I have created from the face of the

earth; both man and beast, and creeping things, and

birds of the heavens..."� (Genesis 6:5-7).

Fromthis assessment,onewriter correctly concluded: "œ...the

cause of all that is wrong with the earth is

not godliness but rather ungodliness"� (Porter, 1974, p. 467, emp. in orig.). The matter of man"™s personal volition has much to do with this. The Scriptures speak to the fact that since God is love, and since love allows freedom of choice, God allows freedom of choice (cf. Joshua 24:15; John 5:39-40). God did not create men and women as robots to serve Him slavishly without any kind of free moral agency on their part. Mankind now reaps the consequences of the misuse of freedom of choice (i.e., the sin) of previous generations. Surely one of the lessons taught here is that it does not pay to disobey the Creator.

In his second epistle, Peter referred to "œthe world that then

was,"� prior to its destruction by the Great Flood (3:6). That

world no longer exists, however. Today we inhabit a once perfect-but-now-flawed Earth. Man"”not God"”must bear the blame.

Furthermore, God created a world ruled by natural laws

established at the Creation. If a man steps off the roof of a

five-story building, gravity will pull him to the pavement beneath. If a boy steps in front of a moving freight train, since two objects cannot occupy the same space at the same time, the train will strike the child and likely kill him. The same laws that govern gravity, matter in motion, or similar phenomena also govern weather patterns, water movement, and other geological/meteorological conditions.

All of nature is regulated by these laws"”not just the parts that we find convenient.

These natural laws are both inviolable and non-selective.

Everyone

(believer and unbeliever alike) must obey

them or suffer the consequences. In Luke 13:2-5, Jesus told

the story of eighteen men who perished when the tower of

Siloam collapsed. Had these men perished because of their

sin? No, they were no worse sinners than their peers. They

died because a natural law was in force. Fortunately, natural laws work continually so that we can understand and benefit from them.We are not left to sort outsomekind of haphazard system that works one day but not the next.

In the end, the most important question is not, "œWhy did

"˜this"™ or "˜that"™ happen to me?,"� but instead,"œHowcan I understand what has happened, and howamI going to react to it?"�

As McGrath put it:

The sufferings of this earth are for real. They are painful.

God is deeply pained by our suffering, just as we

are shocked, grieved, and mystified by the suffering

of our family and friends. But that is only half of the

story. The other half must be told. It is natural that

our attention should be fixed on whatweexperience

and feel here andnow. But faith demands thatweraise

our sightsandlook ahead to what lies ahead.Wemay

suffer as we journey"”but where are we going? What

lies ahead? (1993, pp. 105-106).

As much as the unbeliever hates to admit it, there

are times whensuffering actually is beneficial. Think of themanwhose chest begins to throb as he enters the throes of a heart attack. Think of thewomanwhose side begins to ache at the onset of acute appendicitis. Is it not true that pain often sends us to the doctor for prevention or cure? Is it not true also that at times suffering helps humankind develop the traits that people treasure the most? Bravery, heroism, altruistic love, self-sacrifice"”

all flourish in less-than-perfect environments, do they

not?Yet peoplewhoexhibit suchtraits are cherished andhonored as having gone "œabove and beyond the call of duty."�

Was this not the very point Christ was making when He said:

"œGreater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends"� ( John 15:13)?

Instead of blaming God because evil, pain, and suffering

exist,weshould turn toHimfor strength, and let tragedies, of

whatever nature, remind us that this world never was intended to be a final home (Hebrews 11:13-16). Our time here is temporary (James 4:14), and withGod"™s help, we are able to over-come whatever comes our way (Romans 8:35-39; Psalm 46:

1-3).With Peter, the faithful believer can echo the sentiment that God, "œwho called you unto his eternal glory in Christ, after that ye have suffered a little while, shall himself perfect,

establish, strengthen you"� (1 Peter 5:10). As McGrath went

on to say:

Suffering and glorification are part of, but represent

different stages in, the same process of growth in the

Christian life.We are adopted into the family ofGod,

wesuffer, andweare glorified (Rom.8:14-18). This is

not an accidental relationship. They are all intimately

connected within the overall pattern of Christian

growth and progress toward the ultimate goal of the

Christian life"”being finally united with God and remaining

with him forever.

We are thus presented with a glorious vision of a new

realm of existence. It is a realm in whichsuffering has

been defeated. It is a realm pervaded by the refreshing

presence of God, from which the presence and

power of sin have finally be excluded. It lies ahead,

and though we have yet to enter into it, we can catch

a hint of its fragrance and hear its music in the distance.

It is this hope that keeps us going in this life of

sadness, which must end in death....

It is here that the resurrection of Christ becomes of

central importance.TheResurrection allows the suffering

of Christ to be seen in the perspective of eternity.

Suffering is not pointless but leads to glory. Those

who share in the sufferings of Christ may, through

the resurrection of Christ, know what awaits them at

the end of history. It is for this reason that Paul is able

to declare with suchconfidence that "œour present sufferings

arenot worth comparing with the glory of what

will be revealed in us"� (Rom. 8:18). This is no groundless

hope, no arbitrary aspiration. It is a hard-headed

realism, grounded in the reality of the suffering and

resurrection of Christandin theknowledgethat faith

binds believers to Christ and guarantees that we shall

share in his heritage....

Just as suffering is real, so are the promises of God

and the hope of eternal life. This is no spiritual anesthetic,

designed merely to enable us to copy with life"™s

sorrows while they last. The death and resurrection

of Christ...are pledges, sureties, and guarantees that

what has been promised will one day be brought to

glorious realization.For themomentwestruggleand

suffer in sadness mingled with bewilderment. Butone

day all that will be changed for the people of God.

"œGod himself will be with them; he will wipe away

every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more,

neither shall there be mourning nor crying nor pain

any more, for the former things have passed away"�

(Rev. 21:3-4).

In that hope, we go forward into life in faith.We may

notknowexactly where that faith will lead us. Butwe

do

know that, wherever we go, the God of all compassion

goes ahead of us and journeys with us, consoling

and reassuring us, until that daywhenweshall

see him face to face, and know him just as he knows

us (1993, pp. 106-107,105-106,108, emp. in orig.).

Finally, no one can suggest"”justifiably"”that suffering per

se is contrary to the existence or goodness of God in light of the series of events that transpired at Calvary almost two thousand years ago. The fact that

even the Son of God, was subjected to evil, pain, and suffering (Hebrews 5:8; 1 Peter 2:21ff.) shows conclusively that God loves and cares for His creation. He is not the unloving, angry, vengeful God depicted by atheism and infidelity. Rather, "œwhilewewere enemies,we were reconciled toGod through the death of his Son,much more, being reconciled, shall we be saved by his life"�

(Romans 5:10). God could have abandoned us to our own

sinful devices but instead, "œGod commendeth his own love

toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us"� (Romans 5:8). The apostle John stated the matter beautifully when he wrote:

Herein wasthe love ofGodmanifested in us, thatGod

hath sent his only begotten Son into the world that

we might live through him. Herein is love, not that

we lovedGod, but that he loved us, and sent his Son

to be the propitiation for our sins (1 John 4:9-10).

The unbeliever, for reasons known only to himself, either

is unable, or unwilling, to concede the love ofGod. That"”not the current evil, pain, or suffering that he currently endures"”is the greatest tragedy of his life.

[Rebel Hog]

Welcome to the forum!

[*]If God is all-knowing, all-powerful, and loving, would He really create a world like this? Answer...[*]Why does God allow innocent people to suffer? Answer...[*]If God is perfect, why did He make an imperfect creation? Answer...[*]Does God feel our pain? Answer...[*]If God knows I am hurting, why doesn't He help me? Answer...[*]Youth Essay: Why Does God Allow Suffering? Answer...

[leafriverlizzie]

Unclezege, I'm sitting here debating on what to say or how much to say. I guess first of all I want to say that God did not do those things to her. That was mankind. God was not an addict, her dad was because of choices he made. God did not beat her, that was her boyfriends that chose to do that. She was raped, but not by God. Her mom kicked her out, not God. God did not get her hooked on pills. These things were not God. But........God is here for her, and always has been. People here on earth have conditional love. But God's love is unconditional. When we go through these things, God promises to be with us, loving us no matter what, telling us "I am here child, come to me, I made you and because I made you I love you".

Your girlfriend is not the first person to face these types of things, and she won't be the last. It is up to her though to allow these things to defeat her, or do as the scriptures say "Come unto me all ye that labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest" - Matthew 11:28. I say this from experience. When I was 1 1/2 years old, my mother abandoned me and my 6 month old brother. When I was 2 years old I was ripped away from my father and my grandmother and taken to a foster home. I still remember that day as if it was yesterday. I remember clinging to my daddy's leg as they pulled me away and put me in that car, knowing I wasn't coming back. My first foster mother physically abused me by beatings, burning me, and even making me climb in the oven telling me she was going to cook me like a turkey. I was with her for two years. But you know what helped me? Somehow, somewhere, sombody (maybe my grandmother?) told me that there was a God out there that loved me even when nobody else did. Psalm 27:10 When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up. So when I was 4 years old I contemplated suicide and/or running away. But somehow I knew that if I was alive it was because God made me and He had a purpose for me to be alive. And I knew that God was big enough to get me out of the hopeless situation I was in so I cried out to God. Two weeks later my social worker found out what was happening and took me to a different home. Then my dad got married and my first stepmother was very abusive. I was never allowed to leave my room except to eat or go to school or make my little sister's bottle. Then my dad started doing things he shouldn't have. Then he split up and I went to live with my stepmother and her drunkard boyfriend. You can imagine what kind of situation that was! I went from home to home to home, enduring many abusive situations. I asked "why God" many many times. I faced many things that are incomprehensible to many people. But you know what? One thing I know with a surety, mankind is who failed me. Not God. He has always loved me. Always! Later on I found my mother. I wanted to ask her why she abandoned me but she died of cancer before I could reach her. One thing I did find out though. If she had not left me, I probably would have ended up like my half brothers/sisters. Two are in prison, one for life. They grew up in gangs/drugs. They never knew about hope in God. At least I knew about that hope/anchor. Because of my life experiences, (these things I have shared are just the tip of the iceburg of my life story) my favorite story in the bible is about Joseph. It seemed every time he turned around, somebody betrayed him. Did he despair and give up on God? No. He learned as I have that all these things lead to the betterment of ourselves and others. I cling to Romans 8:28 - And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. Even though we may not understand the "why", it will work out. Not just some things, but "all" things. Who is this promise for? For those that love God and are called according to His purpose. These things that I have faced have not defeated me. They have made me stronger. They have given me certain experience to help others who might be facing what I have already faced.

No, God has not done these things to her. But He is right there for her to look up to. He will help her but she needs to let Him help her. He wants to heal all her hurts. He came and suffered too. Why? Because He loves her. She is not alone. Remind her of this.....

Goodness, I don't know what to say. Other than I can try to pray for her.

[MOTOWNHONKEY]

I would say just love her, she has been beaten down by life and can only see it thru the eyes of her pain. If you are a consistant love in her life and truly care for her eventually she will talk to God again because she will thank him for you.

[Goose 11]

Leafriverlizzie,
That was a great reply, thanks for the insight! God bless you.
Trae

[Unclezege]

Thanks for all of your help everyone. I was started to think that if i just give it time things will change but I now believe that I'm here to say something. Even if it takes sometime for her to understand I should still talk to her about it. We're here to show God, not hold him in to ourselves. Once again I greatly appreciate all of your insight.

[Tazman]

Welcome back Unclezege, you and your girl friend will be in my prayers. Sister Lizzie's post is a powerful testimony that would be a good one to share with your girl friend.

Unclezege to me I feel the most important thing you can do to help her right now is be there for her, pray for her, let her know how important God is in your life and how he has brought you and many others through some very tough times.

Let her know that as Sister Lizzie says, God is not the one that was responsible for the bad things in her life, it was the world/mankind that did, let her know that God does love her and is there for her to lean on and be loved by.