Don't mean to be belly aching but this indecision about me and my maybe new bride is so exhausting. I hear alot of you guys telling me to run. But somedays I am strong and figure I could be strong enough for both of us. But she has been over my house for the past week. I kept telling her she needs to go bed at her house. She knows it. But we get watching a movie and she falls asleep and can't get it together enough to drive 5 miles to her apartment and she ends up in theguest bedroom.
But with her here, supposely helping out, she makes my mess at my house twice as bad. I just can't keep up. I love her, I just can't find it in me to tell her I can't marry her. And 1/2 of me wants to marry her and love her as Christ loves the church, but the other 1/2 said this is killing me.
Its taking up so much of my prayers. I just feel so weak today. She feel asleep at 10PM last night and woke up at 9:00AM this morning plus she had a 2 hour nap yesterday. This is nothing new. She got all tizzy with me when I woke her in her nap to help me hold a microwave was I was installing over the oven.
She keeps nagging me to give her ananswer on if we shouldshuck down 1200 dollars to hold dateforthe marriage, and should she go ahead and order her dress.I can see the dispair in her eyes.
This has got to stop. Ikeep praying earnestlyto God to let me know his will. Sometimes 4 times a day for the past 6 months.I either have to go with the decision to marry her and stickwith it or break it off and don't look back.
You can't get married with that much doubt in your mind. You'll never be 100% sure, but that much doubt means you have to wait. My wife insisted we wait until I was ready and it made our marrage much stronger. I have never looked back.
__________________
Life is easy as a hard day's work
Chris LeDoux
Big Country, from the prospective of someone on the outside looking in.....
I see that you two aren't even close to being ready to make a decision to marry.
I have read some of your past posts on your quandry. They all come across as a person wanting to do something for all the wrong reasons.
It's like you are trying to fulfill some sensed obligation to society, kind of like joining the military. It's like you are "agreeing" to marriage and not neccessarly "wanting" to get married.
It's almost like you are being goaded into it.
You are the one living in your own skin, I am only looking on from the outside so I maybe all wrong about how it is.
One last thing, the ONLY time to agree to put money or anything else into securing a date, is AFTER you no longer have any doubts.
It should be something you are 100% wanting to do....till then....
It is not time yet. If anyone, her, your mom and dad, or your buddies can't understand that, then just remember it's YOU that has to livein the mess you may make.
Probably not the kind of reply you were looking for, sorry.
Thanks
Mr-Pirk
__________________
A proud owner of a Flying Vee. Bestowed by the fine Gentleman VC1111 himself.
Brother, I am going to sound like a broken record, you need to be 100 % sure..
After my wife died and I met Sandra I asked God to let me know if it was His will. I asked God to tell me, and I waited on Him for an answer, He came through. God will reveal this to you. I am sure you've prayed about it, but has God answered you? Really know in your heart that it's His will for this marriage. If not, tell her you're waiting for God to tell you when it's time.
One last thing, the ONLY time to agree to put money or anything else into securing a date, is AFTER you no longer have any doubts.
It should be something you are 100% wanting to do....till then....
It is not time yet. If anyone, her, your mom and dad, or your buddies can't understand that, then just remember it's YOU that has to livein the mess you may make.
That's very good advice brother!
__________________
Jesus said, "he who stands firm to the end will be saved" Mark 13:13.
Live Life in such a way that those who do not know Christ will come to know Him because they know you
I've got to go along with the others on this. I have read the posts you have written about this and see so much doubt there that makes it seem to me that a marriage built on this type of foundation probably wouldn't last. You need to be SURE before you start setting dates, etc. I know you do care for her, but I also am sensing there are some things about her that irritate you. Those things could get worse after you've already made a committment. We care brother and we want what is best for YOU.
__________________
Today' s small bucks are tomorrow' s trophies.
[image]http://www.whitetails.com/deer8.html[image]
Thanks guys. I just don't think I have the strength right now. Some days I read your all replies and say to myself, yep, you guys are right, but right when I am about ready to cut the sting, right when I feel I have the strength, something happens to keep me from doing it. Its just uncanny. I think what we need is a a council of friends to help with this. I know its like a copout. I have never been good with breaking a womans heart. I guess what I would like to happen is for her to open her eyes and see how bad the situation is. She knows I am on the fence. She knows its on my mind and prayers everyday. I just can't imagine how hard that is on her. She is going to be 36 and no children and never been married. I just wish there was a way this can be done with no body going off the deepend. But then by tonight I could be settled as can be.
When you look at my reasons for doubt, they are all selfish reasons. Nothing to do with denying myself. I have to pick up after her, I have to take care of her dog, I am contributing 90% to this relationship.. On and on. Me, me, me. Thats the revelation I get before I about ready to cut this engagement.
Guys, I am a selfish person, I make good money and have lived by myself for a while to where I just can't let anyone in. Maybe instead of praying for a change in her, I need to pray for a change in me.
Oh man, I am down today
