CAN THIS HAPPEN IN THE USA ?

[Alex The Hawk]

(Before anyone cops a coronary, please read: SATIRE! Rachel is only
asking U.S. Jews __ and others__ to read, think, and compare. There is a
message here!)

A modest proposal to protect the U.S. by expelling Jews
By Rachel Neuwirth
August 29, 2005
(The following is a satire in the spirit of Jonathan Swift.)

America could be facing a potential catastrophe from nuclear weapons
that may have already been smuggled inside this country by al-Qaeda.
Sleeper cells may already be positioned inside as many as twenty major
cities.
The danger is real and awareness is increasing. World Net Daily has
reported on revelations contained in the upcoming book The al-Qaeda
Connection: International Terrorism, Organized Crime and the Coming
Apocalypse, by former FBI consultant Paul L. Williams. Edited excerpts
from a World Net Daily report of July 18 follow:
Osama bin Laden is planning what he calls an "American Hiroshima," the
ultimate terrorist attack on U.S. cities, using nuclear weapons already
smuggled into the country across the Mexican border along with thousands
of sleeper agents. The series of attacks is designed to kill 4 million,
destroy the economy and fundamentally alter the course of history.
Al-Qaida's prime targets for launching nuclear terrorist attacks are the
nine U.S. cities with the highest Jewish populations, according to
captured leaders and documents.
The cities chosen as optimal targets are New York, Miami, Los Angeles,
Philadelphia, Chicago, San Francisco, Las Vegas, Boston and Washington,
D.C. New York and Washington top the preferred target list for al-Qaida
leadership.
Our own security officials have also told us repeatedly that it is not a
matter of "if" but rather "when" the next major attack will occur. An
update on this threat was published by World Net Daily on 8/18/05.
Many American lives could be at stake here, and what is needed is bold
thinking on how to avert such an attack, or to at least reduce its
likelihood. In that spirit this article presents "A Modest Proposal" for
a two-part response to this threat. Part I proposes to reduce the
attractiveness of the potential targets. Part II proposes to make the
targets additionally undesirable and to also reduce enemy hostility.
Both parts are inspired by the recent bold actions of the Israeli
government in Gaza and northern Samaria.
Part I. Nine large, American cities are prime targets because of their
size, importance and their concentrations of Jews. If the presence of
Jews in these cities increases their appeal as targets then logically
the absence of Jews would decrease that appeal by a comparable amount.
The security of three hundred million Americans must not be kept at risk
merely for the sake of not inconveniencing Jews who comprise barely two
percent of our population. Because the potential danger is so immense
and so imminent, the relocation of American Jews must be expedited.
Removal of Jews should not be too difficult. Jews want to be seen as
loyal Americans. Most would cooperate, if reluctantly and emotionally,
in their removal as their patriotic duty to increase the safety of their
fellow Americans. Jews are accustomed to relocating and have done so
repeatedly from biblical times. In recent times, nearly a million Jews
were expelled from Arab countries and more than a million Jews have also
left the former Soviet Union. Even inside America, Jews often move for
purely personal reasons. Relocation is a familiar Jewish experience.
Then there is the question of propriety. Is it proper to compel Jews to
relocate -- especially after they have become so comfortable in this
country? Fortunately this question has already been answered. For
security reasons, and for the greater good, none other than Prime
Minister Ariel Sharon is even now in the process of expelling eight
thousand Jews from their homes in Gaza and is using the Israeli army and
police to do it. And more than ten times that number of Jews are likely
to face expulsion from the West Bank later on.
The number of Israeli Jews targeted for expulsion in both Gaza and the
West Bank is proportionally equivalent to America relocating about five
million American Jews. This forced relocation has been ruled to be a
perfectly legal action taken by the Israeli government, and President
Bush, who is considered to be a great friend of Israel, supports it.
Relocating American Jews will be far easier than expelling Jews in
Israel. American Jews tend toward pacifism, are highly law-abiding and
non-confrontational -- except for the highly vocal Jewish leftists who,
in this case, would likely support Jewish expulsion. Furthermore, the
American Jewish leadership has already endorsed the principle of forced
expulsion of Jews in Israel as the legal right of that government to act
in the interests of security and the greater good. Thus American Jews
cannot now object to being subjected to the same requirements in the
interest of U.S. national security.
Necessary expertise in Jewish relocation procedures can be borrowed from
Israel. The Sharon government knows how to recruit, screen and train
thousands of men and women from the Jewish community to form police
expulsion units and cope with the related logistics and media
management. As in Israel, these expulsion police would be well paid, not
be required to identify themselves to the expellees, and the courts will
go easy on any charges of police brutality.
Any manifestation of Jewish protest will be quickly put down.
Protesters, including teenagers, would be placed in administrative
detention and held without charges for up to six months. Unlike in
Israel, there are no Palestinian Arab equivalents in America to rain
down rockets on the expulsion process and requiring army units to
protect the evacuation. As in Israel, there will be at most peaceful,
completely non-violent protests, perhaps combined with a little civil
disobedience of the most harmless and easily suppressed kind. Since most
American Jews will peacefully board the busses and trains carrying them
to their new homes, whatever protests may occur will be conducted by
evangelical Christians -- the most law-abiding segment of the American
population, who will easily be dissuaded from violence or seriously
disruptive behavior by their ministers.
We cannot deny that 1.3 billion Muslims comprise a formidable world
force that is in the ascendancy while Jews are a tiny minority that is
in decline, especially in America. America has suffered politically from
the general perception that the interests of Israel and Jews are favored
over the interests of Muslims and Arabs. This is an opportunity for
American policy to become more even-handed and to gain the respect of
the Muslim world.
As in Israel, U.S. Jews who voluntarily sign up early for expulsion will
receive extra benefits while those who object or delay could face fines
or even prison. The American Jewish leadership must demonstrate their
national loyalty by signing up early and encouraging their followers to
do likewise.
American Jews wield influence far exceeding their numbers which is
viewed as a provocation to many in the Muslim world. The expulsion must
include all Jews, including elected officials and those of influence.
We do not know how much time remains before a possible attack is
launched by al-Qaeda. Therefore this evacuation must proceed quickly in
the interests of national security. Naturally, it will be necessary to
compile lists of Jews and Jewish leaders and Jewish organizations must
be required to furnish such information. Unaffiliated Jews must also be
identified and included on these lists.
It will not be possible to properly liquidate all property and assets in
a short time, so the Jews will have to select whatever they can
transport in limited-size vehicles and forgo the rest. Their European
forebears and Israeli cousins have followed these procedures on numerous
occasions in the past. As a result, few American Jews will be unduly
alarmed or angered by this element of the American-Islamic peace and
reconciliation process.
In the interests of national security and of fairness it should be a
crime for any non-Jew to harbor a Jew. This procedure must be executed
thoroughly and without favoritism so that the Muslim world will see that
we Americans are sincere.
Jewish institutions, including hospitals (along with their Jewish
patients), colleges, schools, synagogues, museums and the like must be
emptied of Jewish personnel and content and prepared for evacuation.
Jewish expertise, or as some say dominance, in the film industry could
be put to good use in ensuring the successful and smooth operation of
the relocation program. For example, the distinguished Jewish American
filmmaker Steven Speilberg could produce and direct a film showing the
happy and successful adjustment of a sympathetically portrayed American
Jewish family to their new home community in rural Alaska. The classic
film made by a distinguished German Jewish director 62 years ago,
documenting the happy and prosperous Jewish community in the relocation
center of Thieresienstadt and filmed during the difficult period of
Jewish relocation in the Second World War, could serve Spielberg as a
useful model.
Spielberg (or any number of other justly celebrated Jewish filmmakers)
could also be tasked to compile a film record of how Jews lived in
America before their relocation, which would serve as a nostalgic
memento for the relocatees in their new homes, as well as a useful
educational tool for the whole population. The film could be shown in
schools across the country, as well as in Jewish museums and Holocaust
centers, in order to encourage ethnic and racial tolerance and
multiculturalism.
Jews would be relocated to relatively uninhabited places, away from any
potential target area. Their new homes should be in currently
under-populated areas like Nevada, Utah, Idaho, Montana, North and South
Dakota, and Alaska.
The Jews should be assigned specific areas that will be reserved for
Jewish occupancy, in the same manner as the reservations for Indian
tribes. Since Jews are essentially a tribal group, they are sure to
appreciate having tribal homelands of their own, outside the strife-torn
Middle East.
New housing and other facilities should be paid for largely by the
Jewish community, in exchange for the value of the land they would
receive from the government.
Jews should be given the option of digging up their dead and
transporting the remains to the Jewish reservations. Abandoned graves
would then be bulldozed.
Those few Jews who are unwilling to resettle on the reservations will be
encouraged to find new homes in other countries.
Part II. This part is designed to create an active disincentive for
al-Qaida to strike our major cities.
To further enhance American security, the vacated homes and properties
of America's five million Jews should be turned over to Muslim
immigrants from Arab countries. They must promise to show respect for
the former Jewish homes they are being given and must not dance on the
roofs of their new homes in a show of celebration or victory.
Muslims should also acquire synagogues and other Jewish facilities but
must promise not to burn them down in celebration but to quietly convert
them into mosques.
Al-Qaeda would then have to think twice before attacking cities with
significant Muslim populations and their newly acquired mosques. Osama
Bin Laden may feel grudging respect to America for having outsmarted him
-- and doing it with style and class.
The entire Muslim world would then have to reconsider their
anti-American animosity. We will have demonstrated that we are
reasonable and respectful toward our Muslim brothers and sisters. We
will have shown our willingness to be even-handed in redressing the old
imbalance where Jews, being but two percent of America, had wielded such
disproportionate influence in the culture, in the business sector and on
its policies. Relocation of Jews would be a very small price to pay for
the prospect of avoiding a devastating attack which would consume Jewish
lives as well as those of other Americans. We could then open a new
chapter in Muslim-American relations and together strive for a more
peaceful and just world.
Bertram Cohen and John Landau contributed to this column.

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[Alex The Hawk]