Since it's hurricane season here in Florida, I thought I'd share this joke I heard recently:
Quote:
A hurricane was flooding a city. The police drove by in the squad car and told the man to leave his house before the water got too high. He said, "No, I'm relying on God to save me."
The water rose and he climbed on the roof of his house. A man came by in a boat and begged him to get in. The man said, "No, I'm relying on God to save me."
The water rose more. The man climbed on top of his chimney and could barely keep his face above the water. A helicopter came by, lowered a rope, and the man waved it off saying, "No, I'm relying on God to save me."
The man died.
The man arrived in heaven and asked God, "Why didn't you save me?"
To which God answered the man: "I sent you a car, a boat, and a helicopter. What were you waiting on?"
So often when we are looking for an extraordinary miraculous answer from God, He'll answer by way of the most common everyday circumstance and means.
That's not only a good joke, but an excellent lesson as well. Sometimes we ignore the answer that is right in front of our faces, wanting to see something miraculous.
Chad
__________________
"We can have no '50-50' allegiance in this country. Either a man is an American and nothing else, or he is not an American at all."-- Theodore Roosevelt
A wise man's heart is at his right hand; but a fool's heart at his left. Ecclesiasties 10:2
The last four letters in American..........I Can
The last four letters in Republican........I Can
The last four letters in Democrats.........Rats
Yep Greg, thats a good one. I've heard it long ago. It's a good one to use when I hear folk say " I'm just waiting on the Lord to get me out of this situation". Good visual
__________________ And then shall many be offended, and shall betray one another, and shall hate one another.
A couple had been debating buying a vehicle for weeks. He wanted a truck,
she wanted a fast little sports car so she could zip through traffic
around town.
He would probably have settled on any beat-up old truck, but everything she
seemed to like was way out of their price range.
"Look!" she said. "I want something that goes from 0 to 200 in just a few
seconds. Nothing else will do. My birthday is coming up so surprise me!"
He did just that. For her birthday, he bought her a brand new bathroom
scale.
There's a lesson to be learned from that one too......
Chad
__________________
"We can have no '50-50' allegiance in this country. Either a man is an American and nothing else, or he is not an American at all."-- Theodore Roosevelt
A wise man's heart is at his right hand; but a fool's heart at his left. Ecclesiasties 10:2
The last four letters in American..........I Can
The last four letters in Republican........I Can
The last four letters in Democrats.........Rats
There was a barber that thought that he should share his faith with his customers more than he had been doing lately. So the next morning when the sun came up and the barber got up out of bed he said, "Today I am going to witness to the first man that walks through my door."
[align=left]
[/align] [align=left] Soon after he opened his shop the first man came in and said, "I want a shave!" The barber said, "Sure, just sit in the seat and I'll be with you in a moment." The barber went in the back and prayed a quick desperate prayer saying, "God, the first customer came in and I'm going to witness to him. So give me the wisdom to know just the right thing to say to him. Amen."
[/align] [align=left]
[/align] [align=left] Then quickly the barber came out with his razor knife in one hand and a Bible in the other while saying "Good morning sir. I have a question for you... Are you ready to die?"[/align]
__________________
"And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28
A Preacher was doing his "Children's Church" sermon where all the youngsters come down front and hear a story. The pastor was discussing the story of Jonah. He quoted the scriptures from Jonah, "...and the Lord spoke to the fish, and it vomited out Jonah upon the dry land."
When the Pastor finished the scripture quotation, he started trying to solicit input from the youngsters to help him complete his mini-sermon. He asked thoughtfully, "What does the fish vomiting Jonah out on dry land indicate to us today.
One of the youngsters spoke with great enthusiasm for the entire congregation to hear, "It proves, even a fish can't stomach a bad preacher!"
Here's my joke.
An angel appeared to a man and informed him he would soon be dying. The man was very sad as he was very rich. He pleaded with the angel if he could just bring some of his money with him. After a long time the angel agreed he could bring one suit case filled with anything he desired. The rich man sold everything he could and converted all his assests into gold, he put all the gold he could in one suit case. When the time came for the man to die, he appeared to St. Peter at the gates with his suit case full of gold. St. Peter said, "you can't bring anything in here." the rich man informed him an angel said it was okay.. St. Peter then had to clear this with God. St. Peter asked the man to open the suit case to see what what inside. He then called God. He said "God, there's a man that wants to bring in a suit case, and he says's it has been cleared." God asked St. Peter what is in the suit case... St. Petersaid "God it is filled with paving material!"
Joke of the day
