You'll Know Yours Is A Redneck Church If:
[ul][*]The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.[*]People ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.[*]When the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering," five guys and two women stand up.[*]Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.[*]A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of."[*]The choir is known as the "OK Chorale."[*]Boone's Farm "Tickle Pink" is the favorite wine for communion.[*]In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.[*]Baptism is referred to as "branding."[*]There is a special fund raiser for a new church septic tank.[*]Finding and returning lost sheep isn't just a parable.[*]High notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling.[*]People think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy.[*]The baptismal font is a #2 galvanized washtub.[*]The choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob's Barbecue.[*]The collection plates are really hub caps from a '56 Chevy. [/ul]
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Jesus said, "he who stands firm to the end will be saved" Mark 13:13.
Live Life in such a way that those who do not know Christ will come to know Him because they know you
Don't make fun of my Church!
